OK, so as you know, I have been broken up from my fiancee now for 2 months and I have been chasing her desperately and letting my anxiety get in the way with troublesome comments on texts about desperate attempts to get her back, and etc.
She says this is why she left because as much as I made her happy, I also made her unhappy just as much with my anxiety outbursts. She says that she still wants to give us a chance because she still cares about me but doesn't know if she still loves me or not because she is afraid of my anxiety issues always getting in the way. She said she desperately wants to see some serious changing in me. This was 4 days ago, she said this.
Anyway, on Nov. 4, I wrote this e-mail to her:
I don't know if you notice that I deleted you on my ***** friends status or not, but I did. I did this because I realized that everything that reminds me of you makes me weak and tempted to ***** things up more between us. So I deleted you on my *****, threw away all the cards you gave me, the stuff we bought together is going up on ebay, I deleted your number from my phone, and I am deleting your email address after this email I am writing you.
You know that I love you, and it hurts so bad that you "don't know if you love me anymore", especially after everything we had together. I still stand firm that I thought we were more special than this and we shared alot more than what you're running away from. I know. I know. It's my fault because of my emotions getting in the way and causing you so much grief.
If this is what you want, then I am going to go all the way with it, not to be vindictive, but because this is the only way I will not be tortured by loosing you anymore.. I'm eliminating everything that would remind me of us because it hurts too bad. I'm even going to go as far as repainting the bedroom. This is what you wanted, not me, so in order for me to become a happier man, and healthier person, I have to let you go, all of you. This is what you wanted in me, and this is the only way "I" know how to do this. I'm sorry if this email hurts you, but sometimes you have to realize, like the old cliche, "Be Careful what you wish for, you might just get it". I don't want anymore reminders of you in my life that cause me so much pain.
I love you so much and don't want to loose you, but I know now that I did. I wish you felt the same way about me as I do about you, but sadly you don't. This is going to be tough for me to do, because I don't want to let you go, but I have to, because if I don't, then I'll continue to be the way you hate so much about me. Again I'm sorry if I hurt you. I wish you hear this as me saying "yes" to myself, and not "no" to you. Maybe one day you will. Until then, goodby baby chicken.
Was this email alright? I haven't had contact since then.