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Author Topic: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...  (Read 2925 times)

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Offline EdwardBanks

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I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« on: October 03, 2010, 03:47:42 PM »
Some of you may remember a topic I posted several weeks ago, in which I was concerned about a dream that my fiance had.  I have had this overwhelming fear of the date October 7 for several weeks, and I am having an extremely hard time coping with this as it gets closer.

I have been crying uncontrollably all day, and I have been totally unable to focus on my school work.  I feel like I'm going crazy over this absolutely arbitrary fear of a particular date (specifically, the fear of something bad happening to my fiance on that date), and I honestly have no idea how I am going to get through the week.  It's just a brutal cycle...I can usually convince myself that everything will be fine and calm myself down in the evenings, but by the next morning, I'm high-strung and can't focus on anything again. 

The manner in which I try to convince myself probably isn't even particularly healthy.  It reminds me a bit of when I was trying to convince myself that I didn't have ALS about a year ago.  I surf the internet and this forum in particular, trying to find stories of people who had similar feelings of dread about a particular event or particular day, and how everything ended up being totally fine.  This is a vicious cycle that I can't get out of, and I have already wasted countless hours over the last weeks dreading it, and it's just totally incapacitating.  I have even physically felt like crap for the last week or so because of this intense anxiety...
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Offline cliffbee

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2010, 04:16:08 PM »
Edward,

It must be horrible to have such feelings but you have to keep reminding yourself that it is simply a day, just like the one you've gone through today. Nothing is fixed and it will ALL be okay :)

Try and distract yourself as much as possible. And not even think about the date if possible, then as soon as it passes you will be rid of this anxiety!
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Offline EdwardBanks

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2010, 07:22:19 PM »
I just keep dwelling on it and dwelling on it, even when I'm busy it sneaks back into my mind.
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Offline JJP

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2010, 08:39:05 PM »
Hey EdwardBanks,
I have a suggestion. Whenever you start to freak out about the upcoming day, sit down and write all of your thoughts and emotions onto paper. Write down everything you think is going to happen, how it makes you feel, etc. Then on October 8th, when you've witnessed that nothing bad actually happened, write about that. Write about how it was false. And then if this situation ever happens again, you'll have proof that it's just anxiety. I'm pretty sure this is a CBT method. Could help. :)
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Offline abbeysmom

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #4 on: October 03, 2010, 09:49:06 PM »
Edward-
Do have someone you can talk to in person? Please don't hesitate to reach out to those around you!!!!
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Offline EdwardBanks

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #5 on: October 04, 2010, 09:05:39 AM »
Fortunately, I have been meeting with a counselor weekly, and several of my friends are kind enough to listen to my anxious ramblings.  It always helps, though the anxiety seems to pop up the following morning regardless...
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Offline EdwardBanks

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #6 on: October 05, 2010, 04:53:59 PM »
I was feeling really great until, at the end of my counseling appointment, my therapist said, "Call if anything happens on Thursday, not that I think it will."  Now I just feel really anxious again.
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Offline Dan34

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #7 on: October 06, 2010, 01:19:19 PM »
Hi,

This is a strange one.  I could understand it more if it were you that had the dream as dreams can seem very real and do provoke a genuine emotional response, but a dream your fiancée had?  Hmmm.

I think what has previously been suggested is a good idea.  Make notes of before and after the date and use them as a reference tool.  You'll be fine!

D
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Offline Loren7979

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #8 on: October 06, 2010, 03:32:22 PM »
Don't ever tell yourself you are losing your mind.  Don't do it.  You have to remind yourself of your best days and how you will return to them.  Don't beat yourself up.  It makes it work.  I've done the same thing.  I feel  for you.  I wish you the best of luck.
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Offline cliffbee

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #9 on: October 07, 2010, 01:49:58 PM »
all is well? :]
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Offline stateofemergency

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2010, 12:38:03 AM »
well it's October 10 now.. so how was it?!
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Offline stateofemergency

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #11 on: November 03, 2010, 04:23:46 AM »
Do u mind telling me what finally and actually happened on that date? Or can someone who knows or talks to Edward knows what happened to him? My anxious mind really want to know...please. Thanks
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Offline stateofemergency

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #12 on: November 03, 2010, 04:26:07 AM »
Oh and the fact that I had to look over 7 pages just to find this post really shows how anxious my mind is lol. It's not OCD though.. I just really wanna know what happened
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Offline EdwardBanks

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #13 on: November 03, 2010, 10:03:25 PM »
Sorry to worry you, but October 7 came and went without event.  Of course, new anxieties have replaced it.

Immediately after October 7, I considered coming on and thanking everyone for reassurance, but I couldn't convince myself to do so?  The reason:  I feared that posting about my relief would somehow cause some terrible event to occur that would vindicate my fears.  Even posting this now makes me a little nervous for the same reason. 

Now, I have attached significance to a new date, although I am substantially less worried about it than I was about October 7.  The bottom line is that, though I realize I am obsessive-compulsive and attach major significance to totally random dates, numbers, events, etc., that realization often provides little comfort.
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Offline stateofemergency

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Re: I feel like I'm losing my sanity...
« Reply #14 on: November 04, 2010, 02:22:47 AM »
thats excellent news im sorry if i forced you to answer this.. i kinda have obsessive thoughts too and if something makes me curious i really wanna find out about it or else i just freak out or get really anxious..
thank you for telling me what happened..
I also kinda hate half-stories like that..like you anticipated the author to tell you back what happened but it never came. I'm sorry but it's nothing personal haha.
What seems to trouble you now?
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