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Author Topic: I feel as if I'm about to downward spiral again.....  (Read 191 times)

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Offline brittanyborg

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I feel as if I'm about to downward spiral again.....
« on: September 04, 2014, 10:41:22 PM »
Hey everyone.

As of yesterday I moved away from home and into my new house near my University. Before I left I made one last trip to my doctor (who I probably won't be seeing for awhile). I told him my shortness of breath has been consistent and now most of the time I even feel as if I'm suffocating. I also explained to him that I've been experiencing severe dizziness. I feel so extremely "out of it" and it's really starting to scare me. Once again he assured me that it was all anxiety and sent me on my way. I started crying in his office begging for him to check my lungs (like I always do) and he told me that if he sent me for a CT scan he would probably lose his license because he doesn't have any "grounds" to send an 18 year old girl for a very invasive CT Scan who also happens to suffer with anxiety. I cried some more, he assured me I was okay and then I left.

I had my first day of classes today, and I only slept maybe two hours last night because I was so light headed, dizzy and felt as if I was suffocating. I woke up this morning the same way and took an Ativan and it seemed to take the edge off for me but still it was hard to breathe and the Ativan just made me exhausted so my eyes were closing throughout the entire day and it just made me feel even more "out of it" - I told my mom and she says that because I'm on my period that could be a contributing factor to how I'm feeling.

I was really doing well and I was pretty stable for awhile and actually started to have faith in the medication - now everything feels like it's going to explode again and I'm going to downward spiral. I don't know if I can handle being at school and not feeling well. I'm not sure I can handle the stress of school and fearing that I'm going to die. I just don't know what to do guys. I don't feel like myself at all, I feel so scared and so sad. I just want to be able to feel like I can breathe properly and stand up without being dizzy. I also have this horrible nagging cough. I don't want to lose my life to anxiety - or worse to some horrible illness.

How do I prevent the downward spiral? I never want to hit rock bottom ever again! I want to stay in school and do well. I'm so scared though, I just want to be better.   :traurig001: :traurig001:
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Offline mekoel

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Re: I feel as if I'm about to downward spiral again.....
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2014, 11:06:54 PM »
Have you ever talked to a psychologist about your anxiety?  I think that would really help you.  It sounds like being at school really scares you.  Maybe being away from home sets off your anxiety because you're not near your doctor and other things that make you feel safe.

Both of my kids got a little anxious when they left home, but as soon as they got busy, they started to feel better.  You are at an exciting part of your life and you are scared....so you focus on your health instead of embracing school and all it has to offer.

Talk to someone about your anxiety so you can start to enjoy this exciting time in your life. Don't let your anxiety take control of your life!!!  You are fine!!  Hope you feel better! :happy0151:
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Offline Never-Quit

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Re: I feel as if I'm about to downward spiral again.....
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2014, 11:28:02 PM »
Stay the course and stay strong !

I am proud if you !  Starting school again is a big challenge!

Is there a medical wellness center at your school? 

If they do... Make sure to take advantage of it.

Did you bring all your medications with you -just in case?

Make sure to do your "Box Breathing" exercise.


We are here for you! :action-smiley-065:
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Never, never, never give up. -Winston Churchill

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Offline cali4niay

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Re: I feel as if I'm about to downward spiral again.....
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2014, 11:31:28 PM »
We all go through ups and downs and u were just helping me with my stomach issues the other day.
It's time to identify that physically, you're fine but your anxiety is getting the best of you.
Deep breathing, positive thoughts and build on the small moments of clarity that we all are lucky to experience every so often.

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Offline fordaisy

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Re: I feel as if I'm about to downward spiral again.....
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2014, 11:43:55 PM »
Brittany, to address the shortness of breath issue. I get this when I am taking ativan. Could be the meds you are taking. Any way to taper off of it? Maybe ask your doc about it? I haven't had an ativan going on my 4th day now. Finally felt better this morning but tonight have tremors again. My tremors really scare me too. They come and go. I hope you feel better soon hun. You are so young and should be enjoying school and this part of your life.
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Offline fishmanpa

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Re: I feel as if I'm about to downward spiral again.....
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2014, 11:46:33 PM »
As others are saying, exercises to help you focus and relax work well. Does the school have counselors that you can talk to? Most do. Perhaps that's something you can look into. My daughter was in school when her anxiety got the best of her. She took a semester off and get herself together ans she's back. You've worked hard to get yourself back. You can do this, it's just a little blip ya hear?!

Positive thoughts
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"Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings in your life. Live. Love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest doesn't matter!."  King Solomon.

Offline brittanyborg

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Re: I feel as if I'm about to downward spiral again.....
« Reply #6 on: September 05, 2014, 11:03:39 AM »
You guys are all so kind. Your support means so much to me. Thank you all so so much.
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