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Author Topic: Harm ocd  (Read 110 times)

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Offline fr8train

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Harm ocd
« on: September 03, 2014, 09:39:39 PM »
Hi guys, after the warm welcome that i received i felt that a good post to kinda tell you how things happened to me.  When i was young i was raised in a home with aggressive abuse and drugs and alcohol.  The abuse was from parent to parent and mainly extend to me the first born.  I was beaten with everything from shoes to trim boards.  I was basically raised in a house of fear.  As i got older I moved in with my grandmother for the last three years of high school.  In those three years i had a lot of growing up to do.  I didnt know anything or even how to take care of myself.  I fell into drugs and alcohol abuse myself.  It lasted for about 3 years.  After i finally got my stuff together and i started a family.  When that family fell apart due to unfaithfulness i got really stressed.  As you can imagine i was raised to have anxiety so when i was stressed and listening to my hyperactive young boy i had a thought of stabbing him with a screw driver.  When i had this thought it flipped me out.  I checked myself into a mental emergency clinic and stayed to get myself on some meds.  they put me on paxil and gave me some vistiril.  This worked to a point.   After the divorce I met my current wife and had 2 kids.  Within the last 4 years i have checked myself into the hospital 4 or 5 times and have bad spells every few months.  They have changed my meds so many times i cant count.  I am currently on zoloft and buspar.  Was diagnosed with panic disorder/ocd and generalized anxiety.  The meds do help but i get so confident that i am getting better that i recently went off of them thinking i could live my life normally and it sent me into another relapse. These problems have haunted me for the last 7 years.  It feels good just typing this hoping for some good advice maybe my story can even reach someone and help them.  TY all so much for listening to me.  not very good at English so sorry if this seems to be a bit jumbled.
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Offline Berabouman

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Re: Harm ocd
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2014, 09:28:53 AM »
Thanks for sharing all that, it must not have been easy for you. I hope that things will get better for you in the future. Stay healthy and safe, you are strong to have gone through all of that and stronger to share it. :)

Have you or are you seeing a therapist right now? That might help as well.
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Online Never-Quit

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Re: Harm ocd
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2014, 12:54:53 PM »
they put me on paxil and gave me some vistiril.  This worked to a point.   After the divorce I met my current wife and had 2 kids.  Within the last 4 years i have checked myself into the hospital 4 or 5 times and have bad spells every few months.  They have changed my meds so many times i cant count.  I am currently on zoloft and buspar. 

Good to hear from you!

How are you doing on Zoloft and Buspar?  How long have you been on Zoloft and what dosage are you at? 

How are you feeling about Zoloft and Buspar, have you felt any improvements yet?

Again, I am so glad you are joining us, like myself - I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, GAD, and OCD - Intrusive Thoughts and Checking / re-checking, obsessive thoughts that never seem to stop - It took several months on Prozac at a higher dosage of 40 mg to finally return me to normal and has been working great for the last 15+ years.  Also, I have been taking either Klonopin or Valium at bedtime for the last 10+ years with excellent results and I am now anxiety free...

Keep us update  :action-smiley-065:
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Offline fr8train

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Re: Harm ocd
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2014, 08:49:54 PM »
they put me on paxil and gave me some vistiril.  This worked to a point.   After the divorce I met my current wife and had 2 kids.  Within the last 4 years i have checked myself into the hospital 4 or 5 times and have bad spells every few months.  They have changed my meds so many times i cant count.  I am currently on zoloft and buspar. 

Good to hear from you!

How are you doing on Zoloft and Buspar?  How long have you been on Zoloft and what dosage are you at? 

How are you feeling about Zoloft and Buspar, have you felt any improvements yet?

Again, I am so glad you are joining us, like myself - I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, GAD, and OCD - Intrusive Thoughts and Checking / re-checking, obsessive thoughts that never seem to stop - It took several months on Prozac at a higher dosage of 40 mg to finally return me to normal and has been working great for the last 15+ years.  Also, I have been taking either Klonopin or Valium at bedtime for the last 10+ years with excellent results and I am now anxiety free...

Keep us update  :action-smiley-065:



The zoloft and buspar do pretty well but i think i could either use a higher dosage which i dont want they do have side effects like constant diarehha and stomach pains, not to mention i barely have a Big O with private time with the wife only if im lucky i do.  Im at 100 zoloft and 10 buspar.  I really like it when they kick in well but i almost bet i could benefit from something stronger.  Tho I refuse narcotics due to the fact my parents where very addicted to everything.  I think i can do it without them.  I just want to find that magic combo that can help me control my aggressive/violent obsessions.  In all reality i am scared to fight let alone kill or hurt someone.  I am a 6'5" teddy bear.  I just have the thoughts and it sends me into panic....it also works both ways tho i can have anxiety and it will cause the thoughts as well sometimes(alot) i dont even have obsessive thoughts i obsesses about having the thoughts in the first place.  I know it sounds wild but man i am ready for that few month span of relief.  I really like this forum so far. ty for the positive words!
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Offline Josephine07

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Re: Harm ocd
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2014, 10:55:40 AM »
I've had similar thoughts as well. For me, it was a stress and hormone trigger.. After I had two of my four kids, I had those intrusive thoughts really bad. Fortunately they subsided. Someone told me, that even though they can be very disturbing, the most effective way of getting rid of them, is to actually let the thought play out in your head without trying to stop it. It actually did help for me. The harder you fight the thought, the harder it is to keep it out.
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