Some back story - I just moved back hre to my mom's after leaving my older brother's house. I am not familiar with this area I'm currently staying at.
So, today my mom wanted me to pick up smokes from a shop a few city) blocs from here. I was willing to go, it's just that I was unsure of how to get there. I've only walked there once with my mom, & I still didn't quite get the directions (I get easily confused when it comes to street directions.) So, after being yelled at to go for the umpteenth time,I map it out on a piece of paper, and I was fairly confident on where to go & how to get back. I walk down the stairs onto the back porch, and I can't for the life of me walk out of the back door. So, I sit on the steps, becoming increasingly anxious & soon crying like a goddamn toddler.
I know I'm not familiar with the place, I just don't now why I couldn't get myself to walk out the back door & get the smokes. Now, my mom is pissed at me because I didn't go. I wish I could tell her why I couldn't leave the house, but I don't know myself. It scared the ***** out of me. I thought if I can't walk out of the house, I'll never be able to leave! Or, something similar.
There could be a few things that contributed to the general anxiety - stress & inadequate sleep last night...but holy *****, I've never done something like this before. I'm really worried about my mental health as of now.
Note - As of late, Depression has been becoming a problem. That also probably doesn't help.
I just wish I knew why I couldn't leave.