I am basically preparing myself for death right now. Since Saturday, I have had just 12 hours sleep. I literally cannot sleep. I have been so sleep deprived all today. And I lay down to try and go sleep, after about 20 minutes, I was awake. And now I cannot go back to sleep. Nobody believes me. When I mentioned it to my doctor, he looked like he had never heard of it before. And he just said "stop googling". I have been having severe panic attacks since Saturday. Zopiclone has made me worse. I had one last night which only gave me 1 hour sleep. I have been given more of them, but I am not taking them as they hasten the disease. It is basically over for me. It truly is. And whats worse is everybody around me is just going to dismiss it until I really start degrading.
This isn't just anxiety - it can't be. Because when I try to sleep, I slip in and out of consciousness over and over again. And usually, I would go to sleep regardless of how anxious I was based on the fact that I was severely sleep deprived (36 hours). However, I am severely sleep deprived now. I don't actually even feel tired. I am very alert (after the 20 minutes of being in light sleep). And previously, I would feel very alert after 2 hours of sleep.