I made a list of all the irrational things I have freaked out over. It seems I am steadily getting worse.
January 2013- Death in combat and start of WW3: After seeing reports of the Syrian crisis escalating and news that women might be drafted I was certain WW3 was about to start and I would be drafted and die in combat. After a week I returned to normal.
June 2013-Flesh eating/brain eating bacteria: After seeing numerous stories on the news focused on flesh eating and brain eating bacteria I convinced myself it was possible to contract these diseases through the water in my shower. After a few days of freaking out I returned to normal.
July 2013- blood clot: I had a huge bruise on my arm from running into a rack of clothing while at a mall. There was a small lump in the bruise and I was convinced this was a blood clot that would travel to my heart and kill me in my sleep. I returned to normal after a day or so.
August/September 2013-WW3 again, and flooding: Syrian crisis reaches a breaking point with chemical weapons use I am convinced we have now entered WW3 and that we will all be bombed. I lament not having build a prepper shelter and can't sleep for days. I am glued to the Alex Jones YouTube channel. Colorado experiences flooding and I am afraid a flash flood will destroy my house and me and my family will be left homeless.
January 2014- I see a special on aliens and I am convinced "black eyed kids" will appear on my doorstep and abduct me. I start sleeping with the lights on.
March 2014- The Ukraine Crisis: The protest in Ukraine turn violent and I am certain WW3 has officially started and that we will be fighting Russia soon. I lament not having built a bomb shelter and lose sleep.
April 2014- I am getting old/nobody wants me: An internet dating site convinces me that I am past my prime and an old hag at 23, and that I might as well give up on even trying to date because no one wants me. I get over this after a few weeks.
May 2014- Death by ingrown hair, cardiac arrest, multiple myeloma, and my first panic attack: I suffer my first major panic attack on May 14-15th. I think I am going into cardiac arrest and can't breathe or feel my pulse. Mom checks pulse and it is 99. I read an article on how an ingrown hair or bikini wax can kill you and worry for days. I get a CBC done in late may and it comes back normal, my protein is 8.1(slightly high) so I google high blood protein causes and multiple myeloma pops up. I am convinced I am seriously ill.
June 2014-Melanoma, lymphoma, inflammatory breast cancer: I read a story about a 29 year old who dies of melanoma. I fly into a panic and check my moles, a few appear a little flaky and I am convinced this is a sign of melanoma. It turns out to be dry skin. I begin experiencing chest(sternum) and armpit pains daily and feeling run-down. I google and learn that these are signs of lymphoma. I start having breast pain and do not have a lump, I think this means I have inflammatory breast cancer. I also have a very dry mouth, loss of appetite and weight loss. I have been worried since.
July 2014-Lymphoma, leukemia, Ebola, pneumonic plague, ISIS rampage, Plane shot down over Ukraine: A man and 3 of his friends contract pneumonic(airborne) plague in my state after the family dog was infected with ticks, fleas or prairie dogs carrying the disease, I worry that it might spread. I see my doctor for my chronic chest and armpit pains mid-month, she refuses to give me an ultrasound, chest x-ray and CBC because nothing seems out of place. I am prescribed Xanax and given the number to a counseling facility. I am worried they are missing something because a lot of people with cancer are written off as having anxiety. 2-3 days later I develop a sore throat, runny nose and productive cough. I am worried I have lymphoma or leukemia. This cold last 2 weeks, with one week of coughing up clear phlegm. The Ebola outbreak intensifies I am scared the disease will spread to the US and cause a contagion like epidemic. ISIS rampages through Iraq and I am convinced the government is funding Al-Qaeda and other terrorist groups. A plane is shot down over Ukraine and I am convinced WW3 is about to start.
August 2014/present day-lymphoma, leukemia, Hodgkin disease: I develop some petechiae and bruising. I convince myself that these are signs I have leukemia. This fear subsides after a week. I begin having mild night sweats while on vacation and I am convinced I have lymphoma. I have not had another sweat in more than a week. My cold returns with a sore throat, sneezing and dry cough. These are all Lymphoma symptoms(persistent colds, frequent colds and difficulty fighting colds). Web MD and Mayo clinic both say that a cold should last no longer than 10 days, I have been sick all summer. My chest and armpit pain is back and I have back pain. I am having muscle spasms and pain daily, not just during anxiety attacks. My temperature reads 98.8 when I am usually 97.5. I am convinced that the doctor missed something and want another appointment with a full work-up. I can't believe this is all anxiety and firmly believe I am one of the millions of people that have been misdiagnosed. I am better for a few days but go on a google and body check spree. I am basically accepting I must have cancer at this point and looking at my treatment options. My parents think I am crazy. My appetite has returned and I have gained back the weight I lost, my mouth is no longer dry.
What do you think?