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Author Topic: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It  (Read 257 times)

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Offline brittanyborg

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School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« on: August 19, 2014, 04:51:48 PM »
Hey guys,

In ten days I'm excepted to move back to the town of my University and start my second year. My anxiety has been so bad that I don't think I can do it. The last thing I need right now is to be away from my mom, my boyfriend and my doctor. I was reminiscing to this time last year when I started first year of University and I was one of the happiest girls ever (I had a little anxiety but no more than anyone else starting university for the first time).
I'm living with 3 other people (I'm not really friends with them - I just know them through school) and the thought of being around and living with people who doesn't understand my anxiety is killing me. I'm so scared that I'm going to ruin this year and waste all this money that I'm spending to get an education. I don't know if I will be able to get as good of grades and then I'll mess up my GPA and then I will have no chance at anything decent in life. I told myself I had the entire summer to get better and that by the time school started back up I would be okay again but now summer is over and I've only just started to even come to terms with my anxiety - let alone get better!
I'm freaking out, and on top of freaking out about school I'm freaking out about thinking I'm dying and not even being able to make it back to school!

Does anyone have any recommendations of what I can do? Really looking for some support right now. I used to love school (I still love school) and anxiety is seriously ruining everything.
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Offline beagle_scout

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2014, 04:56:09 PM »
Try to look at this in a positive light.  Maybe a change of environment will do you some good?  Diving into new classes and new experiences could be a great distraction.  While you've been home, you probably haven't had much to take your attention away from your anxiety and health worries.  Perhaps this is the change you need to point you in a happier direction.  Don't let your anxiety take this fun and exciting time in your life away from you.
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Offline LouiseThomy

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2014, 06:36:39 PM »
Read back what you just wrote to us. You're over thinking way too much girl! People without anxiety, when they get nervous that's it!. People WITH anxiety, when they get nervous, they take it to the extreme and starting over thinking 'what if' ... It all turn out better than you expect. All you wrote down were negative things. What about the positives? You can't say there are none! Example : you're studying for a wonderful future, you're growing up, not many people have an education, YOU have! , just think all of the good things that will come out of it all.

Deep breath and think of everything positive!  :action-smiley-065:
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Offline Venomsoar

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2014, 07:09:43 PM »
If you think this is going to make your anxiety worse, then my advice would be to go for it. The way to overcome anxiety is to face it - not run from it. At the moment, you are contemplating whether to run from it. In the long run, this is going to make things worse - not only for your anxiety, but of course, your education and possibly your future.

Of course it is going to be a struggle for you… which is why you have more reason to go for it. Trust me. When you face your anxieties, you learn ways to deal with it for the future. When I have what I perceive to be the worse days I have ever had, I think to myself, "since this is the worst episode yet, I can learn from this and future episodes will be easier to deal with". And this is so true (and works). The more anxiety inducing situation you put yourself into, and you face it and come out at the end of it, the more stronger you start to believe you can deal with your anxiety in the long run.

And even if you don't meet up to the standards you want (in terms of dealing with situations), it doesn't mean you are a failure - just that you have to lower your standards or look at the other positives that you can. The more you find evidence to back up your positive beliefs, and the more you find evidence to counteract towards negative beliefs, the better you will feel.

I can totally feel for you. I have an apprenticeship starting next month. I am of course dreading it. But if I bail out, not only will I therefore struggle to earn some money, but I will make my anxiety worse in the long run. So I am trying with all my might to push through because the more I do, the better I can be prepared for the future.

It is a matter of dedication. You can still push yourself into doing things you don't want to do - or things that you think are going to cause danger for you. I recently had to do a presentation during my university course a few months ago. I was dreading the event for 2 years. The closer it became towards the date, the more anxious and hopeless I started to feel. But I knew I just had to do it. I did it. And I never stumbled for a second during the speech. I messed up in terms of remembering all the information that I was presenting - but I expected that. I just held the hope that if I can do an adequate job, even if it is not the best one, I may still be able to get the pass. And I did. I received my certificate recently. I have my degree. And I am so happy that I didn't bail out.

You can do it too. By the end of it, you will feel glad you did it. If you don't do it, I fear that you may regret it and that this may make you worse in terms of your anxiety.

I wish you good look. ;)
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Offline brittanyborg

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2014, 07:42:10 PM »
Thank you all for your kind words and support! It really means a lot.
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Offline famv5

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2014, 08:42:02 PM »
You can TOTALLY do this! 

You have responded to many of my posts with such a positive light.  You need to reach inside yourself and find that realm of positive and run with it. 

As others have mentioned, this change of scenery and having something else to focus your mind on should definitely help.

I know you can do this and will do just fine. :)
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"Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths" - Charles H. Spurgeon

Offline marc

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2014, 09:18:21 PM »
If necessary, you can always get therapy at school which will help you through any tough times.
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Offline Lunatone

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #7 on: August 19, 2014, 09:21:19 PM »
If you give in to what your anxiety wants to do, that validates the anxiety, and makes it harder to overcome. Every time you refuse to give in to the anxiety, you take another step toward recovery.
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Offline Chloe1990

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #8 on: August 19, 2014, 09:50:02 PM »
I think the distraction of school may help your anxiety. I struggled with school myself when I was younger and I never went to uni because of my anxieties. It's so sad when this rules your life!
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Offline Never-Quit

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2014, 03:14:09 AM »
Hi Britt,

Yes you can - You are much stronger than you think!

You might call your Dr. and get a refill of your Lorazepam (Ativan) since you have used it successfully -  and let the Dr. know the Klonopin is not something you are comfortable taking at this time.

Do you feel Ativan is providing enough relief for those panic attacks?  If they are not, you might want to ask your Dr. about Xanax (which is the "Gold Standard" in quickly halting those Panic Attacks in an emergency) - IME.  You already trying different medications and you will soon start getting stronger results from your Lexapro.

Now, that your meds are covered, just focus on your internal strength, and your new understanding that all of this is just "Anxiety" - not anything life threatening - There is a lot of CBT and mental techniques on youtube - which you may want to look at it, so you can control your breathing.

The problem is:  Anxiety Scams on the Internet.  >:(

Some techniques are free to learn and use, and if they work let us know!

Here is an example:

I found an interesting technique called the:  Instant Relaxation Technique

1.   Take a very deep breath and hold it in.
2.   Tense EVERY muscle in your body for 5-10 seconds.
3.   Release every muscle as you slowly exhale.

Another Example:

"Belly Breathing Exercise" - many claim, that it will stop or at least decrease anxiety attacks.  I don't know.  But, if it is free, I can't imagine - at least trying it, and see if it works for you.  :yes:

If you want some links, send me a PM.  I don't want to post them, since I can't personally vouch for their effectiveness.

You are much stronger, and you have more tools to work with - if you run into any high anxiety situation at school.  I am very confident you will do GREAT!!

Also, check out the University’s Health Center, and check out if they have some support groups you could join. 

In the end you are a STRONG and Intelligent person and you WILL SUCCEED !!! :grinning-smiley-003:

And finally, You already have a great support group here with us!!  :banana:
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2014, 10:20:00 AM »
For whatever it's worth, I think you can do it because I did it....I just had my first day back after 6 years, and I survived!  So, if you are not ready yet that's ok---take baby steps and you will get there :)
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Offline Ellsac

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2014, 11:29:10 AM »
Hi there :)

One of the best ways to treat anxiety (and also the hardest) is to move towards the things you fear, and resist the urge to run to comfort. Going to school will be hard, but not only will it show your anxious mind that it doesn't control your actions, it'll also be a step towards building confidence that you can lead a great life even while dealing with an anxiety disorder.
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Offline greenzebra

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Re: School Starts in 10 Days..I Can't Do It
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2014, 01:36:05 PM »
I totally understand where you're coming from! I'm a junior in college now, and I first started having really bad anxiety my freshman year of college, and I struggled so much that semester. It didn't affect my grades, but it hurt my social life, and on weekends I would alternate between going home and having my boyfriend stay with me. One thing that really helped was seeing a counselor. My school had counseling available for free, and I was able to work through a lot of my anxiety and it was a lot easier to cope. Plus, it was nice that nobody really knew about it. The building that my counselor was in was also used for other stuff, so it wasn't like everybody that I saw knew that I was there for that. I hope you feel better soon!
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