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Author Topic: HOCD fear of being gay for 10 years  (Read 192 times)

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Offline Nevrgiveup

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HOCD fear of being gay for 10 years
« on: August 19, 2014, 04:24:16 PM »
Anyone had this? I am a 27 year old female and for 10 years i had hocd at first i didn't know such an ocd could exist so i was really scared a about 2007 i learned that this is another ocd a common one too still that didn't relieve me. I always thought this would go away  on it's own but here i am 10 years later feeling the same it is a little bit better but still there, i have wasted all these years of my life petrified to watch movies,talk to other females all because i fear being attracted to them all these years i just can't get rid of this, i've had tons of groinal responses ,been on different ssri's none helped which is worse is that i have never had a bf due to being rejected and not really being around people. Liking guys has been everything to me it's the thing that always made me happy and this ocd has taken that away from me i've still liked plenty of guys but it just doesn't feel the same with these thoughts. I also fear when i do get a boyfriend finally that i won't enjoy it because of this ocd. I  really need advice on how to beat this i do not want this to be my life forever i want to enjoy life again and with this thoughts i cant anyone have advice?
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: HOCD fear of being gay for 10 years
« Reply #1 on: August 20, 2014, 05:47:03 AM »
I think you know that you are not gay. We can say that to begin with. I have no idea what your thoughts are on gay people. It might be something that would disgust you. Hence you could have these thoughts. Bit like taken the one thing you think is not right and feeding you ideas that you might be like that. This is just one way OCD can work. Not saying you hate gay people. But it is not just for you. Not your thing. Just like the idea of another man would not be something I could ever imagine. So your mind has picked the one thing you can't even imagine in reality and is feeding it back to you as if it were true. Irrational thinking. This is the part you have to understand. That the thoughts are not real. It is fine for a woman to look at another woman in a non sexual way. But as you have these thoughts fed to your mind, if you see another woman, your mind is again telling you it is because you like the other woman. More lies sent to the brain by the mind. More irrational thoughts. Medication won't stop thoughts. You have to try and break the chain of thinking. Reason with yourself that it is not a true thought. It may take time. But it can be done. The more you feed your mind with the truth the more you should push those other thoughts away.
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Offline Nevrgiveup

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Re: HOCD fear of being gay for 10 years
« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2014, 08:51:20 AM »
Thank you very much for your reply :happy0151: i agree with what you said about the medication and everything, it just feels like since it's been such a long time i had it that it will never go away but your reply made me realize i could do it i know it won't be easy but i won't give up.
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