I'm so scared and alone. I have no one to talk to and I'm such a mess.
First of all, I'm so scared something is wrong with my heart. I have a lot of chest pain, shoulder pain and pain down my left arm. I also experience jelly legs a lot lately. I had an EKG 5 months ago as well as a holter monitor and the doc said he thinks my heart is fine. Of course I focus on the fact he said he THINKS my heart is fine, he doesn't KNOW it's fine. My heart pounds all the time. I'm so worried something will happen to me and My kids will be without me.
Second, I have panic attacks all day. Does anybody else get this constantly? My heart pounds, my pupils dilate, breathing becomes fast and shallow, stomach hurts, etc. My doc had me on two ssri's and I developed mild serotonin syndrome and so he took me off Paxil and it's been happening many times a day ever since.
My PTSD has flared up again. (PTSD from my son passing away 4 years ago). I have horrible nightmares about dead children. I relive my son's passing over and over lately. It hurts so much. I want to remember him in good times, not the bad, but I can't seem to do it. I miss him so much.
I just want to be normal. I want to feel good. I want to be happy. I want to be able to enjoy being with my kids instead of being scared all the time. What can I do to help myself?