I need some help, desperately. I have mild anxiety issues, they rear their ugly head when I am under stress but I have been pushed over the edge in the last year into full blown anxiety. About everything! The sad thing is, I know the cause. My husband.
Hubby has always had HA, some times worse than others. Well the last year has been pure heck. It is slowly destroying us, ruining our financial stability and as I said has pushed me over the edge into my own anxiety nightmare. It started with colon cancer (different tests including colonoscopy, nothing wrong), then it moved on to heart issues (every test you can imagine, follow ups with primary dr and cardiologist, nothing wrong), after that it was digestive issues, to the point of hysterics (more dr visits and tests, again nothing). We have now rotated back to heart issues. Every day it is something else, sneezing, sore throat, digestive issues, racing heart, trouble breathing, bug bite, headache etc. It is now to the point that he is not happy with any of the three different drs he has and is looking for new ones.
At this point we have paid out over 15% of our salary from last year in medical expenses/copays etc. Not to mention what we pay in insurance premiums and lost pay for days off. He has told me I don't believe him, am being unsupportive, I don't understand, I am sure you know the rest. I have tried, and tried, and tried and am being as supportive as possible, every time something comes up I tell him to go to the dr. I schedule and confirm appointments, pick up prescriptions, take days off of work to take him to appts if he can't drive after tests. This is all on top of my 60 hour per week job! I make sure we spend as much time as possible together having fun and doing things we have always enjoyed together.
This has pushed my own anxiety/stress level over the edge. When I'm at work I am worrying about home things, when I'm at home I am worry about work stuff. I lay down to go sleep at night and my mind starts racing. I worry that something is going to happen and I will lose my job and we will lose everything (I earn a bit more), I worry that I am being a *itch and there really is something wrong, even though he has a myriad of tests and nothing has been found. I worry that I am not being supportive enough, that there is something else I should be doing.
Countless hours have been spent scouring the internet looking for some form of help. I have lurked on various HA message boards to try and understand and wrap my head around what he is going through.
I...don't...know...what...to...do...anymore! I am frustrated, upset, sad. Help me, is there more that I could be doing? Is there something that I shouldn't be doing?