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Author Topic: Learning from Anxiety  (Read 2516 times)

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Offline NeverAgain2

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2014, 09:45:21 AM »


I also am not an anxiety guru.  However, after all of this time, I think, I have gotten fairly good at seeing which people, while frightened, are in a place to be open to information other than their BEASTYS and will, with time, get better and those who are just (as terrible it is) "comfortable" with the status quo.   I don't have to like it but I have to respect that to some degree.  When I find someone isn't in the right place, I tend to stop offering my opinion.  I mean there is no need for me to post to someone who only wants reassurance. 



Sometimes I get too zealous in trying to suggest anxiety solutions and don't recognize the people who only do want reassurance, and I miss that that is really their goal.  I think I just committed this "sin" in another post.  So to those people I apologize. 
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2014, 10:17:48 AM »


I also am not an anxiety guru.  However, after all of this time, I think, I have gotten fairly good at seeing which people, while frightened, are in a place to be open to information other than their BEASTYS and will, with time, get better and those who are just (as terrible it is) "comfortable" with the status quo.   I don't have to like it but I have to respect that to some degree.  When I find someone isn't in the right place, I tend to stop offering my opinion.  I mean there is no need for me to post to someone who only wants reassurance. 



Sometimes I get too zealous in trying to suggest anxiety solutions and don't recognize the people who only do want reassurance, and I miss that that is really their goal.  I think I just committed this "sin" in another post.  So to those people I apologize.


it can be hard   :yes:  I mean I am  FIXER type person.  AND I find it vexing to my whole thought processes that not everyone really wants to get better.  I know that isn't really true, they want to get better but they just are not ready to give up the reactive stuff.  I don't think it is even on a conscious level that they are deciding this.  I think it really is the anxiety has too strong a hold at that point in their lives.   Some of these peeps will, eventually, be ready.  they just have to get knocked down by the reactive stuff enough times to finally really understand it is harming them emotionally AND some physically.   At which point they will begin making positive steps in the right direction.  IMO, there are probably a few who may never be ready.  That really saddens me.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline ShawnW

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2014, 11:19:02 AM »
I agree it's tough.  Because, I know what it is to need to reassurance.  We have all these symptoms and want an answer...we are stuck in that "this ALL can't be from anxiety" stage.  And seeking reassurance is certainly part of the continuum of getting better.

This post isn't for everyone here.  It's for those who have been down that road...reassured over and over...new disease scares replace old ones.  They are tired of the monkey ride.  They are ready to get better.  They are over that I need just one more test phase...and onto some acceptance.

Many of us are helpers by nature and it's a fine line between helping and enabling.  I know I have crossed that many times.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline Ellsac

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2014, 11:26:59 AM »
This is a very insightful post. I agree with all of it.

I learned all of this myself several years ago, but life loves to throw curveballs, and I am again in the throws of anxiety. The waters are murky for me, as I have some genuine health problems, but I know I need to stop my compulsive behavior eventually to get back on top, as it won't help me either way.

Nicely said.
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Offline Egg

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #14 on: August 21, 2014, 10:34:28 AM »
Bumping yet again.

Sometimes I steer clear of this forum because some posts and topics can trigger anxiety in me -- but I'm so glad when I stop in and find a gem like this thread.

ShawnW, thank you for being so open about your battles and so clear about your solutions. I agree with all of them and have found all of them to be helpful.

It truly is a fight, and we need good weapons. You can't fight when you're curled up into a little ball, literally or metaphorically. Think about what weapons will help you, and obtain them for yourself.

For me, in addition to others' suggestions: journaling (to lay out in writing WHY I am feeling anxious and my plan to address those concerns); breathing exercises to calm me (I use Dr. Weil's breathing pattern), and distraction.

I am a Catholic ... I hold tight to St. Padre Pio's admonition to "pray, hope, and don't worry." Also, Jesus' many reminders to "be not afraid," and the Psalm that says, "The Lord is my light and my salvation; of whom should I be afraid?" And the verse from Philippians about focusing on what is good, right, and true, and the peace of Christ will be with you.
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Offline ShawnW

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #15 on: August 21, 2014, 12:21:58 PM »
Thanks everyone for your kind words.  Today I just want to be a part of the solution. 
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline MLB2805

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #16 on: August 21, 2014, 09:32:34 PM »
Great post!
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You don't have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.

Offline Dafoi

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #17 on: September 12, 2014, 01:06:47 PM »
Very good, thanks
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Offline Ihadcancer

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2014, 08:52:42 AM »
ShawnW said:
Quote
Good post, and you brought up one of the things I failed to mentioned...so important.  Acceptance.  Stop trying to control the uncontrollable.  Accept mortality.  Change what you should...accept what you can not.

This is the hardest thing for me.  I am a Christian and believe God is in control.  My anxiety began after my colon cancer came back 3 years later as a small spot (oligo-recurrence) on the back of my liver.  I had 80% of my liver removed, rib spreaders, 27 staples, a drain from my side for a month..... and allergic to the pain killers so I healed but went through a horrible month of pain followed by a year of pain from even simple movements. It's been 31 months and opening a window can cause abdominal pain for days.

I'm afraid of dying a horrible, pain filled, and ugly death.  12 friends on the colon cancer forum died in 4 weeks. Their families return and most had peace at the end but many refused hospice until they were screaming in pain and bleeding ........ messing themselves....... constant vomit.....   I don't want my family to see that or have to deal with that, so now everything is magnified in my H/A state.

I need help overcoming this fear of dying (not death because I know heaven awaits).  My pastor said this is my thorn in my side and Satan's ploy to try and keep me so focused on fear that I don't share my healing with others to give them hope.
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Offline ShawnW

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #19 on: October 07, 2014, 11:01:34 AM »
ShawnW said:
Quote
Good post, and you brought up one of the things I failed to mentioned...so important.  Acceptance.  Stop trying to control the uncontrollable.  Accept mortality.  Change what you should...accept what you can not.

This is the hardest thing for me.  I am a Christian and believe God is in control.  My anxiety began after my colon cancer came back 3 years later as a small spot (oligo-recurrence) on the back of my liver.  I had 80% of my liver removed, rib spreaders, 27 staples, a drain from my side for a month..... and allergic to the pain killers so I healed but went through a horrible month of pain followed by a year of pain from even simple movements. It's been 31 months and opening a window can cause abdominal pain for days.

I'm afraid of dying a horrible, pain filled, and ugly death.  12 friends on the colon cancer forum died in 4 weeks. Their families return and most had peace at the end but many refused hospice until they were screaming in pain and bleeding ........ messing themselves....... constant vomit.....   I don't want my family to see that or have to deal with that, so now everything is magnified in my H/A state.

I need help overcoming this fear of dying (not death because I know heaven awaits).  My pastor said this is my thorn in my side and Satan's ploy to try and keep me so focused on fear that I don't share my healing with others to give them hope.

I am also a believer and a follower of Christ.  I too struggle with the fear of the unknown, the fear of suffering and for my family to have to care for me and suffer with me.  I believe everyone has their thing, and this is ours.  What I know is that a good deal of this is about acceptance.  The vast majority of our suffering is self inflicted.  Pastors call it satan, Freud might refer to it as ego...but personally I believe most of our suffering comes by our own hands.  That helps me not to feel like a victim of what I can not see.  This is about facing our fears head on and coming to terms with it.  I suppose in the end what gives me some solace is knowing that all our pain has an end.  In the grand scheme of eternity that suffering has its place, and is allowed with purpose.  I serve a big God who could indeed change all of this suffering if He so chooses.  So, if it exists its there with purpose...it's there to teach us.  The question is are we willing to learn by it's stern hand?  So, what is the lesson your pain is trying to teach you today?
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

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