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Offline ShawnW

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Learning from Anxiety
« on: August 18, 2014, 06:30:36 AM »
*Disclaimer*-Don't read this if you are easily offended...as these statements are my opinions...only my opinions but are used as a motivator in expressing positive change in our lives.  Sometimes we need a kick in the pants.  A wake up call.  Also, check with your doc before doing any new exercises, supplements or diet plans.

There is probably no more effective teacher than pain.  Discomfort is a stern teacher but if you willing to learn under it's heavy hand...you grow.  What is your pain trying to teach you today?  What is it telling you...about you?  We chase phantoms, jump at shadows not recognizing the enemy is looking at us in the mirror.

So are you a neurotic sufferer?  Or are you a productive sufferer?  Which do you want to be?  Personally, I want to be a productive sufferer...I want to learn the lessons pain is trying to teach me.  If you stick your hand to a hot stove that pain is telling you to do something about it.  It's telling you to remove your hand from the heat source.  In the same way, anxiety is telling you something is wrong...so you search...self examine...read...google...panic and feed the pain.  These actions are like putting your hand closer to the heat source.  It's insanity.

Our pain is trying to tell us that we are physically, mentally and spiritually ill.  Do something about it.

Look around this community...all these different fears...heights...insects...disease...d eath...loss...etc.  The one thing we all have in common is looking in all the wrong places...trying to give a face to the "enemy".  The fact is this...the pain is not the enemy.  It's your body's way of saying something is wrong...do something about it.  We have effectively given a face and a name to an enemy we can't describe.  It's how we have processed the pain...and discomfort.

Here is when the victimization mentality comes in...well many of us have a genetic chemical imbalance...yeah and?  Many of us have had trauma...yeah ok?  It's called the human condition...pain is a part of it.  We have been hurt, abused, harmed, we have bad genes...whatever we say to land us in that victim mentality.  The fact is this...you are responsible for how you feel today...no one else.  We all have our crosses to bear and this is ours.  That's life.  The question I want to propose to you is...Is what you are doing helping or hurting?  If it's helping...continue on...keep doing what you are doing.  But, if not I want you to stop acting like a victim today...and look at the pain not as your enemy but your life teacher.  I want you to look at your pain as your minds way of saying to you...do something different...NOW.  Take a step now to change your life.

Ok...Shawn...I'm on board.  I want to stop playing victim...jumping at shadows and making up imaginary enemies.  What should I do about it? I want to get better. Glad you asked.

This is a physical, mental and spiritual problem and you MUST address all three components if you want to thrive, heal, grow.  If you want to leave one of these out...don't read the rest of this post. 

PHYSICAL

We emotional eat, fill our bodies with processed crap, or maybe we are not eating...not filling out bodies with nutrients that are essential for mental, physical and spiritual well-being.  We don't exercise...don't get out of the house.  We sit by our computers, eating Cheetos...obsessing over our next imaginary disease and googling our next symptom.  Then we wonder why we feel so bad. 

1) Know your daily caloric needs.  Many calculators for this on the net.  If you are carrying extra fat...well that cortisol producing fat is increasing your anxiety and depression.  I don't want to hear excuses...I got a slow metabolism...I'm too busy...I got a thyroid problem or whatever else you use to keep yourself from doing what you need to do.  Know your caloric needs...and eat less than that.  Simple.  Eat good foods...organics...lean proteins...lots and lots of veggies (raw preferably).  You need some carbs but only complex...no white starches...no sugars.  So, if you are drinking a Mountain Dew while eating a Reeses cup while reading this...just stop.  A good rule of thumb...eat 500 calories less than you need a day.  You will lose a pound a week and the catabolism at this rate won't increase your anxiety.  Slow is the way to go...ESPECIALLY if you have anxiety.

2) Exercise-This is HUGE.  You got to get out.  Get off that couch.  Go take a hike in the woods, ride a bike, take a swim, get into yoga, weight lift, play a sport...do something.  5 days a week-45 minutes.  Change it up from to avoid getting bored.

3) Weight lifting-Besides diet this is the best way to get yourself feeling better.  Muscle is a metabolism increasing machine...it's like horse power...fat is your fuel.  You want to burn off that anxiety producing fat.  Nothing better for both men and women...NOTHING.  Start light but build.  You want muscle...more muscle.  Women trust me you don't have enough testosterone to look bulky.  Low reps, heavy weight...for both men and women.  Don't do 20 reps of light weight.  To build muscle you must tell your body...I need more muscle to lift heavy weights.  The only way to do that is to constantly push the amount of weight you do.  Obviously, you need to get cleared by your doc, do with the assistance of a trainer/spotter etc...do things safely...but you must push the weight you do. 

4) Keep a diary-Calories, 1-10 how you feel mentally, and what you did and for how long.

5) Cardio has it's place but don't overdo it.  Cardio is limited in it's ability to get you in shape.  Why?  Because is a catabolic exercise.  It breaks down.  Yes, it's great for heart health.  But, I'm telling you that too much cardio inhibits your ability to put on muscle.  And muscle increases your metabolism.  Increasing your metabolism will allow you to burn anxiety and depression producing fat.

6) Supplements-I am a huge fan of a few supplements.  Don't overdo these...but there are few essentials.  First, a high quality vitamin.  Second, high quality omega-3's...don't do Wal-Mart fish oils...do something like Nordic Natural Omega 3's.  Whey protein shakes after your work out.  And finally magnesium.  There is some good science behind magnesium's ability to decrease anxiety.  Don't overdo any of these...and of course check with your physician before starting ANY of these supplements.

7) Sleep-maybe the biggest part of the entire enchilada.  7-9 hours...no more...no less.  Those who sleep burn fat, build muscle and are better equipped mentally and physically to do what they need to do to handle stress and engage a program of recovery.  Engage a program of sleep hygiene...look up online if you do not know what that is...and exercise will help you much in getting sleep if you are an insomniac.

Mental and Spiritual in my next post
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline ShawnW

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #1 on: August 18, 2014, 06:55:08 AM »
Mental

All too often we have succumb to being victims.  Well Shawn I was abused, or my spouse is mean to me, I grew up in an alcoholic home, etc and so on.  I can tell you most people walk around this planet every day with pain...and with trauma.  Myself included.  I don't say these things to invalidate your pain.  I am saying you can no longer allow it to define you.  You can no longer allow it to control you and harm you.  It's time to forgive others and yourself...to let it go.  Or maybe you have guilt and shame.  You have done some bad stuff...have harmed others...and carry this weight around your neck.  It's time to change your actions, make amends to those you have harmed and let it go.  Abusing yourself isn't helping anyone at this point.  Many of us need professional help to process these kinds of things...a support group, a 12 step, church, therapist, whatever.  Stop making excuses and find the help you need.  If you want to get better...you will seek out the help.  You will spend the money.  You will make the time.  You will find a way.  If you don't, you don't want to get better simple as that.  Struggling with addiction...get some help...go to treatment, get into a 12 step.

Look at yourself in the mirror...and I want you to do it for a couple minutes.  Painful?  Hard to do? Don't like what you see?  If so, then you probably don't like yourself much.  You carry with you resentments towards yourself and others.  This healing starts with your relationship with you.  Stop coddling those negative self images.  You are significant, and important.  You have a work to do...a God given plan for your life.  You are an awesome human being who is suffering by an abuser...you.  Stop abusing yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself, treat yourself well.  If you wouldn't say it to another human being...don't say it to you.  Start speaking to yourself kindly.  Forgive your mistakes and learn from them.  Process pain...and ask what it is trying to teach you...then change it.  This isn't rocket science either.  We have many bad habits that increase pain and anxiety.

Poor habits....ugh we all have em.  Self checking, obsessing, googling etc.  It's hard to stop bad habits.  But, we are all OCD by nature.  That can be a good thing...turn it on it's head and use it for something positive.  Use that OCD energy today to change a habit but acquiring a new healthy obsession...getting better...feeling better...living better...loving better.  Replace googling with meditation or prayer.  Replace obsessing and self checking with playing with your kids, taking a walk, exercise, helping another human being.  Trade a bad habit with a new good one.  The next time you want to do something negative to harm yourself, coddling those anxious feelings with a bad habit...use it as motivation to do something positive for yourself.

Our thought life...what do you think about?  What do you watch on TV, read, listen to?  Crap in...crap out.  Surround yourself with positive people, positive thinking, positive media/information, things that inspire rather than depress.  Dwell on good things...the beauty of a sunrise, gratitude, the love of our children, the love of our Creator, thankful for the health we have, thankful for what we can do rather than depress about what we can not.  Flip the table on your thinking...and see the half full glass.

Easier said than done Shawn...I have tried and can't.  Nonsense.  This is a practiced art.  You have times where you regress.  Do you give up...no.  You brush yourself off and go at it again.  The more you practice positive thinking...the better you become at it.  Stop making excuses.  Stop giving yourself outs.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline sixpack

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #2 on: August 18, 2014, 07:14:14 AM »
Mental

All too often we have succumb to being victims.  Well Shawn I was abused, or my spouse is mean to me, I grew up in an alcoholic home, etc and so on.  I can tell you most people walk around this planet every day with pain...and with trauma.  Myself included.  I don't say these things to invalidate your pain.  I am saying you can no longer allow it to define you.  You can no longer allow it to control you and harm you.  It's time to forgive others and yourself...to let it go.  Or maybe you have guilt and shame.  You have done some bad stuff...have harmed others...and carry this weight around your neck.  It's time to change your actions, make amends to those you have harmed and let it go.  Abusing yourself isn't helping anyone at this point.  Many of us need professional help to process these kinds of things...a support group, a 12 step, church, therapist, whatever.  Stop making excuses and find the help you need.  If you want to get better...you will seek out the help.  You will spend the money.  You will make the time.  You will find a way.  If you don't, you don't want to get better simple as that.  Struggling with addiction...get some help...go to treatment, get into a 12 step.

Look at yourself in the mirror...and I want you to do it for a couple minutes.  Painful?  Hard to do? Don't like what you see?  If so, then you probably don't like yourself much.  You carry with you resentments towards yourself and others.  This healing starts with your relationship with you.  Stop coddling those negative self images.  You are significant, and important.  You have a work to do...a God given plan for your life.  You are an awesome human being who is suffering by an abuser...you.  Stop abusing yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself, treat yourself well.  If you wouldn't say it to another human being...don't say it to you.  Start speaking to yourself kindly.  Forgive your mistakes and learn from them.  Process pain...and ask what it is trying to teach you...then change it.  This isn't rocket science either.  We have many bad habits that increase pain and anxiety.

Poor habits....ugh we all have em.  Self checking, obsessing, googling etc.  It's hard to stop bad habits.  But, we are all OCD by nature.  That can be a good thing...turn it on it's head and use it for something positive.  Use that OCD energy today to change a habit but acquiring a new healthy obsession...getting better...feeling better...living better...loving better.  Replace googling with meditation or prayer.  Replace obsessing and self checking with playing with your kids, taking a walk, exercise, helping another human being.  Trade a bad habit with a new good one.  The next time you want to do something negative to harm yourself, coddling those anxious feelings with a bad habit...use it as motivation to do something positive for yourself.

Our thought life...what do you think about?  What do you watch on TV, read, listen to?  Crap in...crap out.  Surround yourself with positive people, positive thinking, positive media/information, things that inspire rather than depress.  Dwell on good things...the beauty of a sunrise, gratitude, the love of our children, the love of our Creator, thankful for the health we have, thankful for what we can do rather than depress about what we can not.  Flip the table on your thinking...and see the half full glass.

Easier said than done Shawn...I have tried and can't.  Nonsense.  This is a practiced art.  You have times where you regress.  Do you give up...no.  You brush yourself off and go at it again.  The more you practice positive thinking...the better you become at it.  Stop making excuses.  Stop giving yourself outs.


AMEN


we get better when we get out of the victim mindset and start truly advocating for ourselves.  Advocating for ourselves by using just what shawn says above.

yes, it is a hard and scary thing to do.  and yes, there will be times when we make mistakes.  that is part of being imperfect humans.   However, we can't let those setbacks drag us back to the victim mindset. 


I hope shawn's words resonate here and I don't mean for just 10 minutes.  I mean long term.  I hope members take his words and use them to motivate real change in their lives.

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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline ShawnW

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #3 on: August 18, 2014, 07:33:40 AM »
Spiritually

This is where I tend to lose people.  Many people see the benefits of taking care of themselves mentally and physically.  But spiritually?  Shawn...you mean like church?  You mean like religion?  How many of you were taught growing up to take care of yourself spiritually?  How many of you have a good arsenal of spiritual tools for living?  How many of you fear death?  Worry about the after life?  Wonder about your purpose?  Ask what this whole life thing is about...what is the meaning?  Well congrats...that is what makes you different from animals.  These are unique to the human condition.  These are spiritual questions and yearnings.

How many of you feel this great emptiness?  This hole...this deep dark hole?  You have tried to fill it with all sorts of nonsense.  Trust me...I have tried to fill this hole with nearly everything...money, drugs, alcohol, sex, materialism, diplomas, education, power, success, new trinket gods, love addiction, hobbies...and in the end...the hole remained.  I felt no better and actually felt worse.  Because, I hit the end...got through all those things I thought would help...and realized nothing I tried helped.  Nothing I tried filled that void. 

I remember 7 years ago, family was gone...living in the golf course neighborhood, sitting in my office, looking at the diplomas on my wall...remembering all the people who thought wow...he has it together...beautiful family...all the right toys...the right job.  I was a miserable drunk.  I was in so much pain I thought it would choke me.  I wished for death.  I thought about the gun upstairs and thought about taking my life.  I was at the end...I tried it all (or so I thought) and I felt worse than ever.  I hated myself.  I hated everyone around me.  I wanted it to end.  That is when I wept like I have never wept before and cried out to a God who I had not had a relationship with in many years.  I begged for help.  Within days events that I thought would end in lose of job, license, family ended up saving my life.  What I thought would end me, was the catalyst for spiritual growth.  Because, I had not tried everything.  I was taught in treatment that everything needed to change...and what I thought was important wasn't.

So how does this relate to you?  Well because I believe you are believing the great lie...that next thing will make you feel better.  That next promotion, that relationship, that house, that car, that education, that drug, that drink, whatever it is...nonsense.  It's all nonsense.

Spiritual living is very simple...so simple it seems too simple.  Stop reaching for things to fill that hole.  That hole is there telling you that you need people...you need a relationship with your Creator...you need a relationship with yourself.  Love God, love others, love yourself.  Serve another human being today.  Talk kindly to yourself.  If you don't pray...start...even if you don't know who you are praying to.  Take a walk and pray a prayer of gratitude for the ability to walk, and smell that fresh air.  Look at a beautiful sunrise and thank God for your sight.  Hear the birds chirping and thank him for your ability to hear.  Be in awe...be in the moment...be aware of what is around you instead of inside your anxious head thinking anxious thoughts.  Forgive yourself and forgive others.  Don't engage negative talk about others or yourself.  Build up...don't tear down people.  Build up yourself...don't tear yourself down.  Give...accept...refuse to judge.  Look for opportunities to be of service.  Buy a stranger a cup of coffee...smile at a stranger...engage conversation with someone who is lonely...visit a nursing home and read to someone....use your skill/s whatever they may be not to get paid but to help someone in need. 

Until we get out of our very small narcissistic worlds we will never heal.  We must embrace the moment...embrace the unity of suffering all humans go through and look to be a solution rather than adding to the problem.  In this we find our peace, our joy, our mission and our reason for living.  Death has no sting...for we no longer fear punishment...we have hope that all of this indeed has meaning...has a purpose...and that we are a very important part of the solution.  We start to believe we were born to be the solution not the problem.  In this we begin to use the pain we once suffered (or even maybe still suffer to an extent) to build up others, to support them, to help them.  Even our pain has a purpose...and we find gratitude even for the pain we suffer/ed.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Online fishmanpa

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2014, 07:47:54 AM »
This is an excellent post Shawn.

One of the things I've learned through my life experience is the first step to healing must come from within. You're 100% right in that many are defined by their experiences. If they were negative experiences, (abuse etc.) then the individual takes on that aspect etc. I have heart disease and I had cancer. While it's changed me profoundly, it's not who I am. In fact, it's made me a better person. I no longer stress over the things I can't control.

One must ask themselves if they really want to change. In all that you say it still comes down to the individual taking the steps necessary to heal. Some are capable but unfortunately, many are not. One look through the boards here and elsewhere is rather sobering. That being said, if just one person reads your post and finds it within themselves to make the changes necessary, then your words will have served their purpose 10X over!

I happen to take the spiritual aspect seriously. I'll add this to your post. It's my life's mantra. "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings in your life. Live. Love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest doesn't matter!." King Solomon.

Again, excellent post and advice.

Positive thoughts
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"Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings in your life. Live. Love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest doesn't matter!."  King Solomon.

Offline ShawnW

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2014, 07:48:09 AM »
Mental

All too often we have succumb to being victims.  Well Shawn I was abused, or my spouse is mean to me, I grew up in an alcoholic home, etc and so on.  I can tell you most people walk around this planet every day with pain...and with trauma.  Myself included.  I don't say these things to invalidate your pain.  I am saying you can no longer allow it to define you.  You can no longer allow it to control you and harm you.  It's time to forgive others and yourself...to let it go.  Or maybe you have guilt and shame.  You have done some bad stuff...have harmed others...and carry this weight around your neck.  It's time to change your actions, make amends to those you have harmed and let it go.  Abusing yourself isn't helping anyone at this point.  Many of us need professional help to process these kinds of things...a support group, a 12 step, church, therapist, whatever.  Stop making excuses and find the help you need.  If you want to get better...you will seek out the help.  You will spend the money.  You will make the time.  You will find a way.  If you don't, you don't want to get better simple as that.  Struggling with addiction...get some help...go to treatment, get into a 12 step.

Look at yourself in the mirror...and I want you to do it for a couple minutes.  Painful?  Hard to do? Don't like what you see?  If so, then you probably don't like yourself much.  You carry with you resentments towards yourself and others.  This healing starts with your relationship with you.  Stop coddling those negative self images.  You are significant, and important.  You have a work to do...a God given plan for your life.  You are an awesome human being who is suffering by an abuser...you.  Stop abusing yourself, love yourself, take care of yourself, treat yourself well.  If you wouldn't say it to another human being...don't say it to you.  Start speaking to yourself kindly.  Forgive your mistakes and learn from them.  Process pain...and ask what it is trying to teach you...then change it.  This isn't rocket science either.  We have many bad habits that increase pain and anxiety.

Poor habits....ugh we all have em.  Self checking, obsessing, googling etc.  It's hard to stop bad habits.  But, we are all OCD by nature.  That can be a good thing...turn it on it's head and use it for something positive.  Use that OCD energy today to change a habit but acquiring a new healthy obsession...getting better...feeling better...living better...loving better.  Replace googling with meditation or prayer.  Replace obsessing and self checking with playing with your kids, taking a walk, exercise, helping another human being.  Trade a bad habit with a new good one.  The next time you want to do something negative to harm yourself, coddling those anxious feelings with a bad habit...use it as motivation to do something positive for yourself.

Our thought life...what do you think about?  What do you watch on TV, read, listen to?  Crap in...crap out.  Surround yourself with positive people, positive thinking, positive media/information, things that inspire rather than depress.  Dwell on good things...the beauty of a sunrise, gratitude, the love of our children, the love of our Creator, thankful for the health we have, thankful for what we can do rather than depress about what we can not.  Flip the table on your thinking...and see the half full glass.

Easier said than done Shawn...I have tried and can't.  Nonsense.  This is a practiced art.  You have times where you regress.  Do you give up...no.  You brush yourself off and go at it again.  The more you practice positive thinking...the better you become at it.  Stop making excuses.  Stop giving yourself outs.


AMEN


we get better when we get out of the victim mindset and start truly advocating for ourselves.  Advocating for ourselves by using just what shawn says above.

yes, it is a hard and scary thing to do.  and yes, there will be times when we make mistakes.  that is part of being imperfect humans.   However, we can't let those setbacks drag us back to the victim mindset. 


I hope shawn's words resonate here and I don't mean for just 10 minutes.  I mean long term.  I hope members take his words and use them to motivate real change in their lives.

SP, that is probably what I like most about your posts...you attempt to snap people out of that victim mindset.  You are direct and you don't coddle people here.  While I do know some need a softer hand at times, most of us just need a good kick in the pants...to get us up, motivated to do something positive in our lives.  To stop believing the lies that we feed ourselves...to stop engaging bad habits that keep us enslaved.

Anxiety may be a life long battle for some of us here.  We take two steps forward then a step back.  I have personally battled anxiety for over 2 decades now.  I am an expert on what doesn't work.  I tried every bad habit.  It wasn't until I was willing to learn from those who have come before me...willing to give up my victim mentality...willing to take an active approach to my recovery that I started to get relief.  I have ups and downs...good days and bad days.  I don't claim to be an anxiety guru.  I am just another suffering soul that has found some things that have bettered my life and I want to give them to others.  I believe you are in that same boat. 
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline ShawnW

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2014, 07:59:13 AM »
This is an excellent post Shawn.

One of the things I've learned through my life experience is the first step to healing must come from within. You're 100% right in that many are defined by their experiences. If they were negative experiences, (abuse etc.) then the individual takes on that aspect etc. I have heart disease and I had cancer. While it's changed me profoundly, it's not who I am. In fact, it's made me a better person. I no longer stress over the things I can't control.

One must ask themselves if they really want to change. In all that you say it still comes down to the individual taking the steps necessary to heal. Some are capable but unfortunately, many are not. One look through the boards here and elsewhere is rather sobering. That being said, if just one person reads your post and finds it within themselves to make the changes necessary, then your words will have served their purpose 10X over!

I happen to take the spiritual aspect seriously. I'll add this to your post. It's my life's mantra. "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings in your life. Live. Love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest doesn't matter!." King Solomon.

Again, excellent post and advice.

Positive thoughts

Good post, and you brought up one of the things I failed to mentioned...so important.  Acceptance.  Stop trying to control the uncontrollable.  Accept mortality.  Change what you should...accept what you can not.

And I would agree that many can not change without help.  I know at the height of my addiction I could not change on my own.  It wasn't until I asked for help that I seen benefit.  It's so important for us to reach out to others...both personally and professionally...not to sooth the anxiety about our next symptom but for tools for living.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline NeverAgain2

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2014, 08:50:04 AM »
There is great truth in not becoming a "victim".
You may be helpless for the moment but not hopeless.

One of the main problems I faced was a constant misdiagnosis of my pain.  This happens because doctors today are not trained to focus on the three legs of the wellness stool you mention.  It also happens because of specialization and because of modern imaging.  If a person never gets the right diagnosis, there will never be a path to a cure, and then there are those doctors that have absolutely no tact or feelings or whatever and will tell a patient that they will "never be 100 percent again"  or "you have reached your new baseline" or "live with the pain" or "I'm sorry, I won't see you, because your 'injury' is so severe that you are in danger of any moment of losing control of your limbs and bladder and becoming paralyzed."  For added measure this same doctor told me not to sneeze too hard, as that could cripple me."  This, in the 21 Century.

Either people are told of the dire consequences and a life of unending suffering, or they are quickly dismissed as it "being in your head"; this is why people keep coming back to this site and others seeking assurance about this symptom or that.   

I don't have an answer to this, but the constant dire warning about what would happen to me prolonged my getting better by a long time.

Finally, a dead doctor helped to saved me: Abraham Low MD. 
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Offline ShawnW

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2014, 09:09:07 AM »
There is great truth in not becoming a "victim".
You may be helpless for the moment but not hopeless.

One of the main problems I faced was a constant misdiagnosis of my pain.  This happens because doctors today are not trained to focus on the three legs of the wellness stool you mention.  It also happens because of specialization and because of modern imaging.  If a person never gets the right diagnosis, there will never be a path to a cure, and then there are those doctors that have absolutely no tact or feelings or whatever and will tell a patient that they will "never be 100 percent again"  or "you have reached your new baseline" or "live with the pain" or "I'm sorry, I won't see you, because your 'injury' is so severe that you are in danger of any moment of losing control of your limbs and bladder and becoming paralyzed."  For added measure this same doctor told me not to sneeze too hard, as that could cripple me."  This, in the 21 Century.

Either people are told of the dire consequences and a life of unending suffering, or they are quickly dismissed as it "being in your head"; this is why people keep coming back to this site and others seeking assurance about this symptom or that.   

I don't have an answer to this, but the constant dire warning about what would happen to me prolonged my getting better by a long time.

Finally, a dead doctor helped to saved me: Abraham Low MD.

Unfortunately, you are correct.  Physicians are not trained in mind, body , spirit healing.  If it's not physical...pass the buck.  Or if it's physical with a mental and spiritual component...they don't understand why people are not getting better. 
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline famv5

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2014, 10:44:22 AM »
Very well written post, Shawn.  Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with all of us.

It was very uplifting and I will be rereading. 
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"Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths" - Charles H. Spurgeon

Offline sixpack

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2014, 12:50:24 PM »
Shawn,

While I had understood, to some extent, for years (at least on a superficial intellectual level) that anxious thinking was a significant player in my world, it wasn't until 5 years ago did I start gaining a deeper understanding of it not only intellectually, but more importantly, emotionally.  You know somewhat recently I was reading some of my first posts I made over 5 years ago.  It was rather eye opening.  I think I have come a long way. What is interesting is if, in 5 years, I were to look back on my posts now, I will find a different person again. AND that is definitely a good thing.  How sad would it be to have not learned from my experiences? It would not only be sad but horrifying.  I cannot imagine my life spent just existing in a whirlpool.

You mention I am direct.  That is pretty accurate.  I have become more so, as I discovered from reading my earlier posts as well.  :goofy:  I think about that a good bit, actually.  Imagine me, thinking a lot, haha.  I guess I am formulating my conclusions as to why that is.  I think it comes down to this:  I am a fixer and a teacher.  I tend to use my experiences to help others.  The way I got better, I figure is a good place to start.  So I approach posts to others, initially, the same way.  I start with what opened my eyes.  Which was fully grasping that anxiety didn't involve just the mind but, also the body.  That list I post all of the time was a revelation to me.  Until I saw that list I only thought of the usual panic attack symptoms and I never really felt that fit with me, ya know?  Of course that list wasn't a magic pill.  I had lots of work to do, but it gave my mind permission to accept that my body WILL, absolutely, react physically to stress/anxiety.  Once I climbed that hurdle, it freed my thinking. Which is when I began figuring out reactive habits and proactive habits.  It helped my understanding of why anxiety develops, specifically with me, and later why, imo, in others.  While I know everybody develops anxiety for varied reasons, we ALL have to understand how it affects us physically first to move to get to healing--at least, imo.  Over time I found "supporting" people by reassuring over and over only made people worse.  It wasn't support but enabling.  I do struggle, at times, knowing when I can push though.  I, occasionally, feel I've pushed too hard.  Overall, though, pushing a bit is the best support.

I also am not an anxiety guru.  However, after all of this time, I think, I have gotten fairly good at seeing which people, while frightened, are in a place to be open to information other than their BEASTYS and will, with time, get better and those who are just (as terrible it is) "comfortable" with the status quo.   I don't have to like it but I have to respect that to some degree.  When I find someone isn't in the right place, I tend to stop offering my opinion.  I mean there is no need for me to post to someone who only wants reassurance. 

well after all of that,  :winking0008:  I agree with you.  You and I are in the same boat.
I enjoyed your post/s. It touched on a great many truths.  Hopefully your words will make a real difference for even one person here.

Good luck and be well
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline vardnas

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #11 on: August 20, 2014, 12:55:13 AM »
Just wanted to bump this in order for more to see it. This is exactly the kind of stuff we need to be talking about on this forum!
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In case anyone is still confused:  googling your symptoms will cause you to remain in a state of extreme anxiety. Stepping away from the internet is the first step toward lasting peace.

Offline NeverAgain2

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #12 on: August 20, 2014, 09:45:21 AM »


I also am not an anxiety guru.  However, after all of this time, I think, I have gotten fairly good at seeing which people, while frightened, are in a place to be open to information other than their BEASTYS and will, with time, get better and those who are just (as terrible it is) "comfortable" with the status quo.   I don't have to like it but I have to respect that to some degree.  When I find someone isn't in the right place, I tend to stop offering my opinion.  I mean there is no need for me to post to someone who only wants reassurance. 



Sometimes I get too zealous in trying to suggest anxiety solutions and don't recognize the people who only do want reassurance, and I miss that that is really their goal.  I think I just committed this "sin" in another post.  So to those people I apologize. 
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #13 on: August 20, 2014, 10:17:48 AM »


I also am not an anxiety guru.  However, after all of this time, I think, I have gotten fairly good at seeing which people, while frightened, are in a place to be open to information other than their BEASTYS and will, with time, get better and those who are just (as terrible it is) "comfortable" with the status quo.   I don't have to like it but I have to respect that to some degree.  When I find someone isn't in the right place, I tend to stop offering my opinion.  I mean there is no need for me to post to someone who only wants reassurance. 



Sometimes I get too zealous in trying to suggest anxiety solutions and don't recognize the people who only do want reassurance, and I miss that that is really their goal.  I think I just committed this "sin" in another post.  So to those people I apologize.


it can be hard   :yes:  I mean I am  FIXER type person.  AND I find it vexing to my whole thought processes that not everyone really wants to get better.  I know that isn't really true, they want to get better but they just are not ready to give up the reactive stuff.  I don't think it is even on a conscious level that they are deciding this.  I think it really is the anxiety has too strong a hold at that point in their lives.   Some of these peeps will, eventually, be ready.  they just have to get knocked down by the reactive stuff enough times to finally really understand it is harming them emotionally AND some physically.   At which point they will begin making positive steps in the right direction.  IMO, there are probably a few who may never be ready.  That really saddens me.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline ShawnW

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Re: Learning from Anxiety
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2014, 11:19:02 AM »
I agree it's tough.  Because, I know what it is to need to reassurance.  We have all these symptoms and want an answer...we are stuck in that "this ALL can't be from anxiety" stage.  And seeking reassurance is certainly part of the continuum of getting better.

This post isn't for everyone here.  It's for those who have been down that road...reassured over and over...new disease scares replace old ones.  They are tired of the monkey ride.  They are ready to get better.  They are over that I need just one more test phase...and onto some acceptance.

Many of us are helpers by nature and it's a fine line between helping and enabling.  I know I have crossed that many times.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

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