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Author Topic: Losing the battle again HA (don't read if tired of seeing N. fowleri woes)  (Read 172 times)

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Offline seemeblue

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Hi everyone. I am sorry to be mentioning N. fowleri again but I am losing this fight against my phobia and really need to vent.

Backstory: five days ago I got a lot of water up my nose while bathing. I live in San Francisco and have a storage hot water heater.

When the event that caused my HA flare-up first occurred, I was joking about my fear a bit. Lately, I have been convinced that I am dying for sure this time. My body is in all sorts of stages of adjustment (got an IUD put in Tuesday, also started my period, am currently suffering from a hangover, did upper body exercises for the first time in weeks on Wednesday...) so any feeling of discomfort that could be caused by a number of things BUT meningoenchephalitis, I have been interpreting as the first symptoms of my impending death. My neck has been sore for the last couple of days (probably from the tension in my shoulders because of the push-ups and chin-ups I did Wednesday), I feel weak and tired (probably my hangover), and I keep getting these dull, ephemeral headaches behind my right eye (don't know why, but it's probably the N. fowleri chiseling away at my frontal lobe). I can't stop thinking about this, and I occasionally experience moments in the day where it dawns on me that I am dying. I'm pretty convinced that I am.

I am getting married in a week and then going on my honeymoon for a few weeks. I am terrified that I am going to get really sick and die before I get to experience those things. My fiancé thinks I am crazy, and he even checked the water temperature for me in an attempt to convince me that the hot water heater is set at a high enough temperature to kill the amoeba, but my fears continue. I'm trying to be stronger than this but I am failing horribly :|

I'm sorry for being just another nut terrified that I am dying from N. fowleri. Thanks for reading, and I appreciate any words of wisdom anyone might be willing to offer.
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Offline Rasalhauge

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Hi everyone. I am sorry to be mentioning N. fowleri again but I am losing this fight against my phobia and really need to vent.

Backstory: five days ago I got a lot of water up my nose while bathing. I live in San Francisco and have a storage hot water heater.

When the event that caused my HA flare-up first occurred, I was joking about my fear a bit. Lately, I have been convinced that I am dying for sure this time. My body is in all sorts of stages of adjustment (got an IUD put in Tuesday, also started my period, am currently suffering from a hangover, did upper body exercises for the first time in weeks on Wednesday...) so any feeling of discomfort that could be caused by a number of things BUT meningoenchephalitis, I have been interpreting as the first symptoms of my impending death. My neck has been sore for the last couple of days (probably from the tension in my shoulders because of the push-ups and chin-ups I did Wednesday), I feel weak and tired (probably my hangover), and I keep getting these dull, ephemeral headaches behind my right eye (don't know why, but it's probably the N. fowleri chiseling away at my frontal lobe). I can't stop thinking about this, and I occasionally experience moments in the day where it dawns on me that I am dying. I'm pretty convinced that I am.

I am getting married in a week and then going on my honeymoon for a few weeks. I am terrified that I am going to get really sick and die before I get to experience those things. My fiancé thinks I am crazy, and he even checked the water temperature for me in an attempt to convince me that the hot water heater is set at a high enough temperature to kill the amoeba, but my fears continue. I'm trying to be stronger than this but I am failing horribly :|

I'm sorry for being just another nut terrified that I am dying from N. fowleri. Thanks for reading, and I appreciate any words of wisdom anyone might be willing to offer.

You are absolutely right in the logic parts of your text, trust that and try to fight of the anxious thinking. I don't know what N. Fowleri is, but judging by your description it's some sort of brain eating amoeba, right?

Isn't N. Fowleri super rare? I can relate to the "I know I'm dying" kind of thinking. I get that alot. Although, my positive thinking is starting to get the upper hand of the anxiety (at the moment).

Just like most of us here you're mire than capable of reaching logical explanations to your "symptoms". The problem is that anxiety feeds on uncertainty, and as soon as you start to doubt your logical (correct) conclusions, anxiety kicks in. It takes so little for anxiety to prevail over logic, but you have to fight it. Convince yourself that you can indeed trust your logic.

Everything you experience, and interpret as symptoms of disease, is normal reactions to different activities etc. Nothing of what you write about screams brain eating amoeba (if that's what it is?)

Try to enjoy all the upcoming events in your life, you are absolutely healthy:)
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“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.”

- Dante Alighieri

Offline seemeblue

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Yeah, I think most of my symptoms can be explained by either being on my period, or having done upper body exercises. The shoulder pain and the headaches are something I have experienced before, generally from exercising. For some reason, my upper back and shoulders have been getting angry the last half-year every time I do upper body exercises. I haven't been able to figure out why that is. I am never had meningitis before, and don't know anyone who has, but I imagine (I hope) that the symptoms would be a bit more dramatic than what I have been experiencing. I mean, I imagine my headaches would be more painful and undeniable if they were caused by a brain eating amoeba. Also, I would think that I would have a fever by now, since I have been experiencing the shoulder/neck pain for two days now. I don't know though, and that's definitely why I am stuck in this HA cycle right now.

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Offline Rasalhauge

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Yeah, I think most of my symptoms can be explained by either being on my period, or having done upper body exercises. The shoulder pain and the headaches are something I have experienced before, generally from exercising. For some reason, my upper back and shoulders have been getting angry the last half-year every time I do upper body exercises. I haven't been able to figure out why that is. I am never had meningitis before, and don't know anyone who has, but I imagine (I hope) that the symptoms would be a bit more dramatic than what I have been experiencing. I mean, I imagine my headaches would be more painful and undeniable if they were caused by a brain eating amoeba. Also, I would think that I would have a fever by now, since I have been experiencing the shoulder/neck pain for two days now. I don't know though, and that's definitely why I am stuck in this HA cycle right now.

Vague symptoms is a real pain in the ****, in the anxious mind it automatically means danger. Logically though it´s a whole other story. I don´t know how N. Fowleri presents itself, but as you say, it probably would be rather dramatic. Since it´s a foreign lifeform eating the brain, I can´t imagine this going unoticed for long. Your symptoms sounds nothing like a serious disease, and certainly not like an brain eating amoeba=)

But I definitely think that you should book an appointment with a chiropractor. He can have a look at your back, perhaps the back/shoulder pain could be due to incorrect seating positin when you´re at the computer. Do you have a sedentary job, or does it include bodywork?

Little things in your day can contribute to the back pain, it happens to everyone=)
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“There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.”

- Dante Alighieri

Offline seemeblue

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Yeah, the symptoms of N. fowleri are just like meningitis: headache, neck stiffness, fever. But, I think it is supposed to be a pretty bad headache, not a barely-disernable one.

I actually do manual labor (I work at a plant nursery), and am on my feet all day. I only work two days a week, though. My shoulder pain is muscular, and pretty uncomfortable. I've never been to a chiropracter before, but I can see if my insurance covers something like that. One thing I also did for a little while, and which seemed to help, was take turmeric capsules everyday (it's an anti-inflammatory). I should give that another try.
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Offline seemeblue

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Last night was hell. Laying down really aggravated my shoulder, which caused a radiating pain up my neck and into the base of my skull. I couldn't tell if I was detecting a temporal headache as well. I woke up and checked my temperature several times and begged my fiancé to take me to the hospital. He wouldn't, saying my pain is psychosomatic. The pain is real, but my anxiety might be making it worse. I am still partially convinced it could all be because I am showing symptoms of meningoebcephalotis. I can function and am fully coherent, and I don't have a fever yet. I can also move my neck and back no problem. The headache is transient and not severe. Maybe these should be indicators that I am not dying, but rather injured from exercise. But I am also terrified that I only have two days left to live, since I started feeling this pain Thursday and supposedly people die from this within 5 days after showing symptoms. I guess I'll keep checking my temperature for the next two days... :'( this is so bad!!
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