No, you are making sense!! Definitely. Anxiety does some pretty weird stuff to our minds... I often get anxiety because I know I have anxiety. Also, thinking about my anxiety makes me feel anxious.
Like I will be distracted from my obsessive thoughts for 15 minutes, and all of a sudden I will be JOLTED back into my anxiety world by thinking about my anxiety. But while I was distracted, time seemed to just fly by.
For instance: Looking back on a 15 minute car ride feeling distracted without anxiety, I won't seem to remember a thing. I was fully conscious while it happened, obviously, but looking back on it I don't remember specific things that happened.
Looking back on a 15 minute car ride feeling anxious with a heightened sense of alertness and feeling anxious about life itself, I will specifically remember seeing a yellow house, or a group of trees, and I will feel a sense of heavy dread when I think about those objects.
I think my anxiety has something to do with a heightened sense of alertness about my body... this was a big issue earlier a few months ago when I had Depersonalization and Derealization, followed by extreme self-awareness. I felt, and I feel way too aware of my own consciousness. This was all brought about by pondering life's existence and asking myself philosophical questions that sent me into a panic attack, and then depersonalization and derealization with anxiety... and now anxiety (along with some sporadic depersonalization and derealization).
The way anxiety makes me feel is this feeling of dread and dislike. Imagine you won a game of jeopardy on national TV... and you found out that the prize was a can of soup. Or if you just found out that you received an F on your final exam in college and you couldn't graduate.
Its this sinking feeling, and this dread feeling, and I often feel this way when I think about life itself. Its weird.
PHEW. That was a mouthful
!!! Anyways, maybe somebody can relate to the above^ I'll continue to observe the similarities between Depersonalization, Derealization, A heightened sense of awareness, and anxiety, along with philosophical thoughts and obsessive questions.
Have a great day/night everybody!