I'm back again. I know I post too much. Sorry.
Do you think this problem is from anxiety or is it just me being me?: So, as you can probably tell from how I always mention her, I love my older sister a lot. She is one of the coolest people ever. But, I'm afraid that she thinks I'm too clingy and annoying. I always give her hugs and tell her that I love her. I always ask her to come with me when I go places. Usually if she leaves, I tell her that I'll miss her, and when she's gone I really do miss her and want to call her but I know she doesn't really like me to call her very much unless it's for an important reason. If I do call her, I feel guilty after and wondered if I annoyed her. I love to try and make her laugh as well, but I hope she doesn't see me as being immature and annoying. I also like to be with her when I'm feeling anxious because she almost always makes me feel better about anything (except death). Lately I've been trying to avoid her so I won't annoy her, but it's not working because it's pretty hard to avoid your own sister. Otherwise, I'm usually following her around. I even follow her to public restrooms (the kind with stalls of course!) because while I'm waiting for her to wash her hands we get a little time to chat on our own. I think I annoy my mother, too. I always ask her "Do you think I annoyed Ciara?" or "Do you think she still loves me?". You know, questions like that. I think I irritated her a bit last time I asked. She told me the only person who thinks I am annoying is me. And for some reason, I also think about her dying a lot. I even dreamt about it once and it made me really sad. Why do I think about this? What do you think? Do I seem like an annoying little sister? Too clingy? To attached? I don't want her to think of me as the thing that never leaves her alone! And again, sorry for starting yet another topic.