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Author Topic: The BIGGEST Fear  (Read 287 times)

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Offline sixpack

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The BIGGEST Fear
« on: July 09, 2014, 10:09:29 AM »
_____ is my biggest fear
ALS
brain tumor
MS
ovarian, lung, liver, colon, etc cancers
rabies
mad cow
n fowleri
sporadic fatal insomnia
DVT
stroke
heart attack
seizures
schizophrenia
meningitis
encephalitis
OR _________

I see posts saying this phrase, in various forms, everyday.  Some people can't even spell out the word.  Often posts will add "I have children and fear I will leave them without a parent" or "I am young and have too many things I want to do" or "I am afraid to die."

I will agree:

Yes, these are absolutely scary as hell illnesses.  No one wants to get these things.  No one wants to die.

But ask yourself-----  How does fearing any one of these illnesses or ALL of them either protect you from getting it/them OR mean you presently have it/them? Folks saying something is your biggest fear doesn't equal causation.

All the fearing does is take joy from your life.  All it does is stop you from living the life you were meant to live.

I do understand fear.  I know what it does to a mind.  I also know it is no way to spend a life. 

So if I were asked what was my biggest fear, I would answer allowing fear to control my life.  Because once that happens, am I really living?



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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline leah2013

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Re: The BIGGEST Fear
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2014, 10:20:37 AM »
Amazing post!!!!!

And yes that's me... I fear lupus so BADLY... I have 2 small children and need to be well for them.... but yet I worry so much that I am not enjoying my children NOW, when I CAN!

Thanks so much for this wonderful reminder. We are so worried about dying that we are not living... it doesn't make sense right? we are alive TODAY let's enjoy the NOW... it's hard I know.... I can tell you that I go back and forth between this positive rational thinking and then my fears win over... these reminders are great! Thanks so much!
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Going thru a rough patch! Praying for peace of mind and happiness!!!!

Offline TyeDyedButterfly

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Re: The BIGGEST Fear
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2014, 11:02:09 AM »
Thank you so much Sixpack wow I am setting here crying this post is amazing and so very true!!

I do have physical health problems and yes the mental and when you do find out you do actually have something wrong more then mental it is devastating and scary but it is true what can we do but face them head on and know no one leaves this earth alive .

Worrying and Obsessing about Illnesses solves nothing it does make us worse and waste our days here on Earth and I so need to work on this myself and take better care of myself and stop this anxiety in it's track and defeat the scary thoughts!

Thank you again!
TyeDyedButterfly
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PEACE, LOVE AND HAPPINESS !

God is Good all the Time! All the Time God is Good! :)

Offline naynaydevil2

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Re: The BIGGEST Fear
« Reply #3 on: July 09, 2014, 12:10:50 PM »
One of your quotes were SO on point for me "I'm afraid to die and leave my baby". Getting a dreadful disease or having the drs miss it first off is a huge fear I'm itself. But to know i could have "x" amount of months/years to live would just intensify my first fear. Then to know I'm going to die would explode everything. But to picture leaving my three year old would just top everything off to the max.

I'm so scared.  But that was a great on point post six!
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Offline famv5

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Re: The BIGGEST Fear
« Reply #4 on: July 09, 2014, 12:25:51 PM »
Well said. 

I worry so much about things and I always try to remember something my mother told me.  She, too, was a worrier but over the years has learned to cope with it.  She told me that worrying about something won't change it.  That's so true. 

You mentioned in your post that worrying about a fear of something won't protect you from getting it or mean you have it. 

I really enjoy your posts.  It helps to bring everyone back to reality. 
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"Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths" - Charles H. Spurgeon

Offline mikewise77

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Re: The BIGGEST Fear
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2014, 12:42:09 PM »
Sixpack,
I think you make some awesome points. I'm new to posting on this forum but I've read some of your stuff and all of it rings very true to me, we are al lucky to have a resource like you on this board.
It's strange, recently my dad went through a legitimate health concern, He had to go to the ER because of severe dehydration and while he was there they discovered a tumor in his kidney which they opted to remove, the whole kidney not just the tumor. I inherited my health anxiety from him, he has always been worried about stuff especially his heart. While going through preparing for the op, and now through the recovery he hasn't been as stressed as I figured he would be. In pain yes, easily fatigued of course but not overly anxious or worried. So many of us worry so much about our health and then we think "oh I hope it's just anxiety" but I sometimes wonder if dealing with severe anxiety is worse than any of the rest. I've known people who nearly dropped dead from heart attacks and have never expressed the kind of dread that I feel about whether or not I will ever have one.
God is good :) One of the things I try to remember is that he is in control of this entire universe and my little anxiety issues can't throw him off the throne. My stress test is up in 3 hours and 20 min, I think I am gonna do just fine :)
Mike
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Offline Worrier1978

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Re: The BIGGEST Fear
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2014, 01:58:28 PM »
Once again, sixpack, you hit the nail on the head for so many of us! What you wrote is exactly where I am at -- the realization that I'm losing precious time with the people that matter (including my 2 little girls) because I'm too busy worrying that I'm going to suddenly die & leave them. It is beyond insane! I'm really trying to work through this on my own because I know my mind is controlling this & keeping me from moving on. I have to let it go...
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Offline leah2013

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Re: The BIGGEST Fear
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2014, 03:20:33 PM »
My stress test is up in 3 hours and 20 min, I think I am gonna do just fine :)
Mike

Good luck Mike, keep us posted!
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Going thru a rough patch! Praying for peace of mind and happiness!!!!

Offline AdaJ

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Re: The BIGGEST Fear
« Reply #8 on: July 09, 2014, 04:29:52 PM »
Very true Sixpack. Well said! I've spent so many months of my life obsessing about conditions I DON'T have like MS, heart problems, ovarian cancer. It's such a waste of life and energy. In March they found I had a kidney tumour. It was found by chance when they were looking at something else. It was kind of ironic that one of the only body parts I wasn't concerned about turned out to have cancer in it! Anyway, the reason I'm sharing this isn't to worry people, it's to say that when you are eventually faced with a serious health problem You just get on with it! My husband and family thought I'd completely fall apart to be diagnosed with cancer - given how scared I've been about health issues in the past. Everyone was amazed at how calm I was. It is what it is and I just took one day at a time and put my faith in the doctors who were the experts after all. Fortunately for me the cancer was spotted at an early stage and I have a good prognosis. Look - people come to terms with having all sorts of horrible illnesses and even come to terms with death. There really is no point obsessing about what might happen. None of us know what tomorrow will bring so the only thing we can do is enjoy today and be thankful for what we have now. As a fellow hypochondriac I know this is easier said than done!
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Offline sixpack

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Re: The BIGGEST Fear
« Reply #9 on: July 09, 2014, 05:11:16 PM »
absolutely true AdaJ   :yes:

No one wants a dx for sure. But when people get them, the main thing that happens is the getting down to business to deal with it. 

Back in the spring of 2005, a dear neighbor received a diagnosis (this was when I lived in La.)..  He had lung cancer.  At dx he was told 12-18months.  I recall digging in my yard and saw Rudy taking a walk.  He never did that.  It was a slow, quiet walk.  He seemed to be thinking a lot.  I hollered to him asking if he had an axe I could borrow.  He looked up, smiled and said sure and he would set it by my door in a few minutes.  I didn't realize, at the time, that he had just gotten home from the docs getting that dx.  Here is this dear man given such a prognosis, but was still ready with a smile for me.  I think I found out a week or two later.  You know as the months went I saw him less.  then he would come out to his garden and pick veggies and talk about the great meal he would cook.  He would still fun with my young children.  he LIVED his life.  We moved to NY the summer of 2006.  He was still smiling and kind and happy to chat.  He lived right up until he died on 10/31/06.  the day before he died he was shopping with his son.

the truth is---as another comment from tyeDyed said--- no one gets out of this alive.   At some point we all die.  It could be at 95 or at 23.  No amount of crying, bargaining, obsessing, freaking out, hand wringing will stop it.   The question is are you going to spend your life looking for the end?   and, oh boy, what a waste if you do.

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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

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