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Author Topic: It's a "Not you but me" moment  (Read 383 times)

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Offline desursion

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It's a "Not you but me" moment
« on: July 08, 2014, 06:23:29 AM »
Hey guys.
I know you must get a lot of these.
So if there is someone in a similar situation as I, please link me a link as I wasn't able to see anything that was quite as similar.

So my boyfriend of almost 3 years, has anxiety. I can put up with it most times, but others it gets annoying, but I understand nonetheless.
I am currently living with him, and he starts having a panic attack every time I go away for a few weeks and I don't call him at least once a day and have a proper chat. But as some one living with depression it is hard to talk to many people while in that situation. And I don't think he quiet understands my situation. When I want alone time to deal with the way I'm feeling he gets more clingy. Not to mention that if I don't have intercourse with him at once every few days he can get quiet verbally abusive and then starts to feel the anxiety come up. It's not healthy for either of us.
I have been thinking for at least 6 months of what I should do. I've waited to see if the feelings were to come back from when we first met and it just hasn't been working for me. But I wish it had. I love him, I do, which is why the last thing I want to do is hurt him, and just let him down the easiest way possible.
It's hard to tell him how I feel because I hate the way he gets when he begins having a panic attack. He is a really sweet guy at his heart, but I feel like I'm not ready to go right into a long term relationship with the way I am, especially someone who is so reliant on me for average daily activities, I cannot do any of them myself at times when I'm in a deep depressed state.

But at the core of all this. I'm not ready to get into something so long term. I've only just figured myself out. I'm 20 and I want to go my own way. I want to do something with myself before settling down, maybe in 5 years this would of been perfect. But not now.

I would love to hear advice of how to make this break up as gentle as possible to avoid a giant explosion of panic attacks. I can't watch him go through that.

Thank you in advance.
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