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Author Topic: Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)  (Read 93 times)

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Offline apoplexy

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Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
« on: July 07, 2014, 06:33:02 PM »
Hi,
In December of 2012 I made a completely moronic mistake. I smoked a lot of weed and had a panic attack. I took a few hits of a joint, was already too high without realizing it and then I got passed a vaporizer and hit that without realizing how powerful it was. I didnít even know what a vaporizer was, it was my 3rd time smoking pot in my life and it has been haunting me to this day.

The next day when I woke up I felt what I later found out to be depersonalization/derealisation. I went on an SSRI and after 2 months of complete HELL I was able to liveÖdecently. That being said, my anxiety was through the roof, I was having physical symptoms that I never, ever had Ė or even knew existed for that matter, Iíve been getting weird, annoying thoughts, halos around lights, visual distortions and a bunch of other ***** thatís been hard to deal with.
Now Iím really ambitious and despite feeling this way I just kept pushing through, I ended up moving cities, switching my life, was studying nonstop, doing music production, working, blah blah and I had a panic attack one day that seems to have relapsed me into the exact same hell that I endured when I smoked that bullshit fucking pot.
I should also mention that I got off of my SSRI about 3-4months ago because of sexual side effects and I think that was a bad idea. Iím back on Ciprilex 10mg, in a mood and anxiety program, Iíve purchased a couple programs, am going to do the Linden method, im eating better (when I can actually eat), going to the gym, etc. I will do ANYTHING to get my life back. Before this I was a 3.97GPA student and I was making good money, loving life. Now I canít go to school this September and Iím flat broke Ė I feel like Iím living in hell.
I knew I had GAD before this but it was always controllable. I was always told marijuana was good for anxiety and I know firsthand that for me, itís not. I obviously triggered a latent disorder or exacerbated my pre-existing condition but I am praying that I can get it back to where it used to be (its 100x worse in every way possible) and get rid of this depersonalization in time.

Has anybody ever experienced a reaction to marijuana like this? I fucked up, I know it but Iím praying I didnít ruin my life/future. I'm not suicidal and I'm absolutely determined to get better, I will fight nonstop and do everything necessary -- but in 5 years if I'm still living like this I would honestly *****. I do not want to die and just the thought of that and having these thoughts in my head are killing me because I have so much good to offer the world and I love life more than anything, it's truly beautiful, I want to be me again.

Please help me. Iím desperate.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2014, 06:15:32 AM »
Welcome to the forum. Good to have you as a member. Here you are with like minded people. People who understand. As we all suffer from something or other. So feel free to ask any questions. Our members are always willing to help others out. Good chatroom too. 3 posts to enter the room.

Find the correct section of the forum that suits your condition and create a new topic on it. This is just a welcome section. Never really get the same amount of help in this section as you would on the other sections of the forums. So whatever one suits the questions you are asking. Get much better answers.
All users of the chatroom must be 18 years old or over. The room is off limits to anybody under the age of 18.
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Offline e77

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Re: Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2014, 11:19:47 AM »
In my early twenties I smoked weed multiple times and also suffered a weed triggered panic/ psychotic like episode. You will calm down, eventually.  We got traumatized by the experience.  Weed induced PTSD.  I think you are right and the pot triggered the reaction.  You will get over it.  Keep managing the anxiety via counseling and medications.  I didn't do that and I stayed sensitized for a long time so you are being much more proactive about it than I was.  Stay away from pot and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.  Marijuana has this effect on some people.  You will be ok.
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Offline Disassociative

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Re: Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2014, 11:43:31 AM »
I feel for you and let me assure you,  you are most likely 100 percent physically fine. I had a HORRIBLE reaction to weed when I was 14 and the DP/DR has stuck with me since. I think the most important thing to do is to try to continue living life and do things you enjoy. Isolation is the worst thing you could do, I speak from experience. You can be you again without a doubt, never lose hope. It's more and more common, people having bad reactions to marijuana. The EMT's at the hospital tell me they get people in there from that all the time, although my latest ones haven't been due to be smoking since I quit a while ago. Anyways, best of luck and remember you are 100 percent fine.

Anxiety can really trick your mind and cause alot of weird symptoms, they are harmless.
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Offline ShawnW

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Re: Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2014, 01:20:15 PM »
Yes, it sounds like you had an underlying genetic predisposition towards anxiety/panic and the cannabis triggered it.  I would assume you are young...early 20's which is when this sort of thing happens.  If it wasn't the pot it would have likely still happened at some point.

Instead of getting all technical I will talk to you about my personal experience as this exact same thing happened to me about 20 years ago.  My panic was triggered by MJ, and I lost 15 pounds not eating, not sleeping, constant state of panic, wanted to die.  It was the most horrible thing I had experienced in my life.  I went totally chemical free, no caffeine, stopped smoking, no drugs nothing but totally embracing the spiritual faith I had abandoned when I started doing drugs.  I had much guilt, much shame and it fed my anxiety.  I read, studied, watched things that developed me spiritually for 5-8 hours a day.  It was the only time I had a semblance of peace.  I made peace with God, my family and myself.  The following 2 years were probably the best and happiest of my life.  I found my way out of panic, had no anxiety and found some joy.  Unfortunately, I traded it in for addiction to alcohol a couple years later and didn't find my way out of that for another decade.

I have never had that kind of peace since...but for me I get relief from anxiety when I am physically, mentally and spiritually fit.  I must embrace all three.  For some that does indeed involve medication but for many it does not.  I think you must take a three pronged approach to anxiety by educating yourself on the disease process, developing solid thinking skills, getting fit physically, sleep hygiene, eating right, therapy, AND taking care of spiritual needs whatever that looks like to you.  For me, it meant finding my own understanding of God and making peace with the religious teachings of my youth.
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My insight, thoughts, experiences or advice that may be posted in this forum are not meant as a substitution for the advice of your physician.

Want to know how to address your anxiety?
http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php/topic,93402.msg521266.html#msg521266

Offline jjZauis

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Re: Marijuana Induced Hell (PLEASE READ/HELP)
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2014, 03:12:57 PM »
I'm curious about the symptoms you mentioned.  The only specific one I saw was the halos around lights, etc.    I'm 32 now, I probably started smoking when I was 20? 21 maybe?  But for the past several years I would say I smoked ever day more or less.  It was the rare day I didn't.  And when I didn't I would be so paranoid that if I didn't smoke I would feel sick or not being able to sleep.   Over time though, gradually, it was like even a small amount of weed was triggering major anxiety.  Of course, I didn't think it was anxiety.  I was convinced I was going to have a heart attack every time I smoked.  And I would drive myself into a panic attack.  I haven't smoked in over a month now because I finally realized that was only making my anxiety so much worse.  Admittedly, I miss that relaxation that weed gave me.  But I also know, why I wasn't physically addicted it to it, mentally I was.  Even after I knew the weed was making it worse, I would still smoke a little out of habit or from fear of what I'd feel like if I didn't smoke it.  Not that not smoking solved all my problems.  It didn't.  I still have heart issues where I'm convinced im going to have a heart attack (any tests that have been done have said nothings wrong) and I still have this foggy, dizzy, light headed bs that I have to deal with all the time.   My thing is, what I was probably attributing to being the affects of weed was probably the effects of anxiety, I just didn't know.   I partly wonder if it was watching a friend who hadn't smoked in years, smoking a REAL lot and then having this really weird siezure that doctors couldn't explain.  It was insanely scary to be a witness too.   Anyway, sometimes i wonder if the effects I feel are from having smoked so much weed over the past years.    I've also stopped drinking alcohol, and have really cut back on caffeine.   I still smoke cigarettes like a chimney though as when I feel the affects of anxiety it's the first thing I turn to, to calm me down. 
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