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Author Topic: Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question  (Read 233 times)

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Offline LASD

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Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question
« on: July 07, 2014, 12:04:19 AM »
Guys, I've just about had it. Today marks my one year anniversary when all my neurological symptoms began, give or take a day. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would still be suffering from the nagging of whatever the hell this is. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I've seen 6 neurologists on this matter, and only 1 of them was hesitant to tell me I do not have MS. He was the specialist I saw, and a very respected MS specialist at that. My 6 month follow up with him is on Wednesday. I don't know how I feel about this appointment. On one hand, I so desperately want answers, and on the other hand, I fear going because I know it will most likely end with him saying, "Well, we should have another follow up in 6 months." I can't take being stuck in this "limbo".

At this point, i'm 95% convinced I have MS, and I like to think of myself as a rational person. Here's why i'm so convinced: Left arm/leg always just seem to tingle when my body gets hot. I have developed an unbelievable heat sensitivity, and i've been extremely tired as of late...The other day i got out of a hot shower, and I began to sweat, as I was sweating, my legs began feeling extremely weak, and my hands began shaking uncontrollably. This horrible feeling went away only after I stopped sweating. Another example of this heat sensitivity is A couple weeks ago, I was at a bar. It was extremely hot inside, and even hotter outside. When we finally left the bar, and went outside to sit down and eat at a taco stand, my legs around the shin area began to violently tingle. It felt as if someone had rubbed them for five minutes with a balloon. None of this stuff is normal, and none of this stuff ever happened to me before this entire fiasco began.

Like I mentioned, I have convinced myself that MS is the only thing that perfectly describes my symptoms and what is plaguing me. This thought has caused me to become somewhat withdrawn and depressed for many reasons. First off, since my MRI scans were normal, and the neurologists all tell me there is nothing wrong, everyone thinks I'm crazy and need to go on anxiety medications. This is what bothers me the most. Nobody thinks there is anything wrong with me, and they all believe I'm making it up. Another reason why this bothers me is because if it is MS, and like I said, I am convinced it is, I want to begin treatment as soon as possible to try to slow down the degenerative process of the disease. I feel my body crumbling with each passing day, and I have split my life into 2 categories: Pre-MS and post-MS. I spend a lot of my days reflecting on how great my life used to be before all this started, and find myself envious of how oblivious I once was. Never did i think i would have this as my destiny. I was once so active and in shape. The mere thought of exercising now gives me instant anxiety, as many symptoms tend to return when i begin to exercise. Nowadays i just feel so lost. MS is on my mind every second of every day. It has slowly integrated itself into the deepest trenches of my psyche... I'm not looking for reassurance from anyone. If I have learned anything from this experience, is that no one truly knows anything. Sorry for such a depressing post, I just needed a place to put my feelings. These are definitely not the best of days...
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Offline Kmj023

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Re: Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2014, 12:43:37 AM »
So sorry you are going thru this. It's ok if you need to let it out. That's why we are here. I hope you find your answers. I'm sure you are just fine. I know it's hard to believe that with all the crazy symptoms.
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"The only illness that we can't accept is hypochondria."

"Never Google, everyone will catch an invisible tumor!"

"Anxiety is not a doctor. Neither is the internet."

Actual diagnosis : chronic sinusitis.
Google diagnosis : brain cancer.

Symptoms : dizzy head feeling.

Offline Tiredofbeingexhausted

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Re: Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2014, 03:22:30 AM »
I have most of those symptoms plus many others. There is a reason many of us think we have ms. Anxiety mimics it. Trust the docs, don't go deeper in the anxiety loop! Trust others, and don't give in. Don't shrug this advice off, I know you want us to tell you you have ms. 99% positive it's anxiety. I have those symptoms plus worse others.
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2014, 07:14:51 AM »
BEASTY (anxious thinking)  really has a hold on you.

the reason why people say you are "crazy"  (while I think that is a harsh term for your anxiety disorder) and that you need to be on anxiety meds is because you are completely wrapped up and punch drunk from anxiety.  So it isn't that no one truly knows anything .  It is plain.....you are in bed with the king of all LIARS---ANXIETY/FEAR.   

DIRECT COMMENT: the question isn't " is it ms or is it not ms".  That has already been determined.  The question is:  Are you going to be able to come to terms with anxiety and how it is dictating your thinking and how you feel? THAT is the real question.

Yes I know---because I have been there (with several rounds of being absolutely certain I had MS)----how hard it is to believe anything other than what your anxious mind is telling you.  I finally got truly fed up  with giving my life away so I took those leaps of faith and, over time, I got better.  LASD at some point you are going to have to decide if living in fear of a disease that you do not have (and all that that entails) is okay with you  OR decide that numerous medical professionals/family/friends/forums were right.  At that point take  the leap of faith and begin dealing with the SERIOUS disorder that is wreaking havoc on your life.

good luck and be well
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline 3r1cR0c9

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Re: Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2014, 08:44:44 AM »
did your doctor request for an MRI? MS can be seen in a brain MRI. if it will give you peace of mind rather than waiting every 6 months then maybe you should get an MRI.
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2014, 10:15:21 AM »
did your doctor request for an MRI? MS can be seen in a brain MRI. if it will give you peace of mind rather than waiting every 6 months then maybe you should get an MRI.

actually LASD has seen 6 or 7 neuros and HAD clear MRI.    the MRI was probably given as a "Peace of mind" test.  However,  with people with health anxiety,  tests given for that reason really don't work.  they almost always either doubt the test or move onto a new illness not covered by the previous 'peace off mind' testing
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline greend

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Re: Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2014, 10:25:04 AM »
LASD, I understand where you are coming from and I will tell you anxiety can literally ruin your life. I have been a total wreck for 3 years and have just recently started to settle down.  For 10 years, on and off, I have experienced neurological symptoms that I thought were going to totally disable me.  After visiting 3 neurologists and having so many tests that I can't really list them all, not one disorder or ailment could be diagnosed.  I flat out asked the last neurologist I saw, which was only a month ago, if it could be anxiety related and she said YES. 

I still have the symptoms, but for some reason I am not freaking out anymore.  Maybe now I will recover.  I am reading self help books and trying to stay positive.  If when you see your doctor on Wednesday,  and he can't find anything wrong, which is more than likely, I hope you can find some kind of peace.  I am no expert, but your symptoms don't really even sound like MS.

Let us know how it goes.
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Offline LASD

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Re: Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2014, 05:18:12 PM »
Thanks for the replies everyone. I've tried being patient, but I'm at my wits end. I don't feel anxious, yet I still feel my symptoms. Alas, I know Anxiety is a tricky thing. Unfortunately I know way more about MS then I would like. The intelligence that I have acquired feels like a curse. It's this that's causing me not to believe that this is all anxiety.

To answer a question from before. I have had a brain and neck MRI. I've actually have had two sets, taken 8 months apart. They were both clean and normal. Yet when I hear this, I instantly think that the lesions are too small or are located in the gray matter of the brain and cannot be picked up by the MRI. it's sad I know, but this is the state of mind I've been in for about a year now
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Is it MS, or is it not MS? That is the question
« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2014, 05:30:17 PM »
Quote
The intelligence that I have acquired feels like a curse. It's this that's causing me not to believe that this is all anxiety.   

nope it isn't the intelligence that is causing the anxiety.  it is the over thinking, the googling and other reactive behaviors causing the anxiety.   :winking0008:   :yes:


oh and LASD, when I was convinced 3X from 1997-2008,  I also explained my faulty thinking as you....  lesions were too small and all that rot.  Of course I was wrong.  I had myself locked in the vicious anxiety loop as you are now.  But you can get out of it.........
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

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