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Author Topic: Just made myself worried sick  (Read 322 times)

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Offline Jonnysmith

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Just made myself worried sick
« on: July 06, 2014, 06:36:10 PM »
I am so scared about having seizures, I get these frequent deja vu and strange episodes happening of late. So I decided to YouTube seizures and watch clips of people having grandmal seizures and now I am worried sick. I am 33 and have had these so called deja vu feelings for about a year which I believe from reading are simple partial seizures which scare me so much they will get worse into gran mal. Grandmal seizures watched online are the most terrifying thing I have ever seen, one clip was this guy just writing in a book then all of a sudden out of nothing his head started turning to the side and he was making grunting noises and shaking like mad. I am so scared this is gonna happen to me coz heard you can have seizures at any age and from nothing
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2014, 07:33:10 PM »
you've had all of the pertinent testing by a neurologist.  You were given a clean bill in neurological health.  Yet you still obsess over seizures.  then you go and watch you tube videos of people with seizures.  Honestly what DID you think would happen to your emotional well being by doing that? 

My daughter has tonic/clonic seizures and complex partials and atonic seizures. AND, yep, they can be scary.  she doesn't namby pamby around with simple partial seizures for a year then pop out with the big ones. 

What LOGICAL reason do you have at age 33 to all of a sudden start having seizures???  Just because you are afraid of seizures doesn't mean you will EVER have one.

What you are going to have to do is realize is that it is your anxious mindset producing all of these symptoms.  these symptoms, of course, will seem like 'seizures' to you.  WHY?  because that is what you are afraid of.  this is no different than a cardiophobe having symptoms that 'fit' with heart ailments OR people fearing gastro issues having stomach or pooing issues.

Jonny---- tough love statement-------  you are going to stay in this state of panic as long as you engage in all of these reactive behaviors.  so you are going have to decide if that is okay with you OR decide to take a leap of faith and accept that your  anxious thinking, your reactions, your actions and your inactions are what is going on here.

what are you doing daily to work on your anxiety?  what is working?  what isn't?  what are you REALLY willing to do to get on your healing path? 
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline Jonnysmith

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2014, 02:09:17 AM »
Hi sixpack and thank you for words of comfort. Hope everything is ok with your daughter and she gets better. I can't help it I just fear these frequent deja vu feelings I get are leading to something it's not common to get intense deja vu I've heard
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2014, 06:12:03 AM »
you are allowing your fears to dictate your life.  As long as you think something is up, they will not diminish and will in all likelihood get worse (in your mind anyway).    How LONG do you think it would take for the "dejavu" to lead  to something .     Jonny it is TIME for you to move on.



thank you for your kind words about my daughter.  truth is her seizures will not get better. 
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline Jonnysmith

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2014, 08:46:30 AM »
I know sixpack your right I do need help to move on I have also been to counselling with my fear but nothing seems to work. All I can think of is the deja vu feels so real and that epilepsy can start at any age
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2014, 10:35:01 AM »
epilepsy has causes.  with one being a small % of people who develop it into adulthood.  The VAST majority of adult onset seizures are from: brain tumors, traumatic brain injury, brain illness like encephalitis, illicit drug use,, dehydration, parasites in the brain....

 so you can go ahead and think you are one of those small % people if you so choose, but recognize you are doing it to the detriment of your emotional well being.  what I don't understand with you is that dejavu and other weird sensory things are pretty common place with anxiety, especially when one is afraid of such things.  Why have you completely discounted these sensations as a product of your anxiety disorder?

btw---simple partial seizures are  also known as auras.  People with seizure disorders often have these, just prior to a bigger seizure--- Like seconds or minutes; not months to a year.  An exception could be with temporal brain tumors.  My dad had simple partials that came as phantom odors.  I never saw a full blown seizure with my  dad.   However that could have been because he was dx'd with a tumor within a couple of months  and he was put on anti-seizure meds.

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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline Nala1991

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #6 on: July 07, 2014, 11:22:04 AM »
Omg y would you do that!? I have a huge fear as well. I would NEVER utube that! I have witnesse my brother having a couple from very low blood sugar due to his diabetis. It is scary and i fear i will have one everyday cause i feel so weird in my head but i would never utube that. Itll make it worse!
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Offline Lars Thorwald

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #7 on: July 07, 2014, 02:10:13 PM »
As others have said, stay away from Google (and YouTube). George Costanza (Seinfeld) watched "Coronary Country" on TV and the next day believed he was having a heart attack. Of course he wasn't.
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"For days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off." --Johnny Carson

Offline Jonnysmith

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #8 on: July 07, 2014, 02:54:58 PM »
I wouldn't advise watching it at all it's the worst thing ever. But it's because I am having frequent deja vu and weird head a vision feelings which make me think that it's epilepsy on the way. Is it normal to happen as an adult with a clear MRI and EEG?
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #9 on: July 07, 2014, 03:35:54 PM »
I wouldn't advise watching it at all it's the worst thing ever. But it's because I am having frequent deja vu and weird head a vision feelings which make me think that it's epilepsy on the way. Is it normal to happen as an adult with a clear MRI and EEG?

it isn't "normal" to have those things.  but it is common  occurrence with anxiety disorders.  MRIs and eegs do not diagnose anxiety disorders.  MRIs dx brain masses, malformations and other diseases.  EEGs diagnose abnormalities in brain waves..    so you now have to deal with your anxiety disorder.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline sixpack

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #10 on: July 07, 2014, 04:03:54 PM »
adding to my last post

there are PLENTY of illnesses that are manageable.   So what if you actually developed epilepsy?  NEVER MIND that you are afraid of it.  That is not material.  So what would really happen??  Would your world end?  What would ACTUALLY happen?   
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline Jonnysmith

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #11 on: July 07, 2014, 04:44:04 PM »
I don't know what would happen if I got epilepsy I don't know how I would cope. I am struggling to understand what your telling me. One post your saying it is unusual to develop it in adulthood now your saying what if I develop it. It's quite a contradiction. I do appreciate your advice don't get me wrong however everyone has a fear of something and mine happens to be epilepsy which I cannot shrug out of my mind almost 24/7. The reason this has intensified is because of these weird deja vu and other sensations that mimic partial seizures that I have had over the last couple of years. A clean MRI and EEG does not rule out epilepsy as well.
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #12 on: July 07, 2014, 05:00:12 PM »
frankly----  logic isn't working with you.  telling you that you do not have epilepsy doesn't work. Asking you to explain LOGICAL reasons why you would develop seizures at your age was  not answered.   having state of the art testing doesn't work.  You have decided that it missed your seizures.   bottom line::  a person having dejavu for a YEAR and that person not having a FULL blown seizure (along with state of the art testing) should be enough to convince a rational mind that the sensations he is feeling is NOT a precursor to developing seizures.  This means all of what you talk about is just plain old ordinary fear.  All of your thinking is filtered through your fear.  Which makes your conclusions HIGHLY unreliable

while I know this is hard to see:  the reason why these sensations are intensifying is because they scare you.  Which in turn gives you your proof that your theory that mri and eeg and neuro  are wrong.  it proves why you are going to have epilepsy soon.   



SOOOOO  Now I am taking a different approach.... one psychologists often take.....  I am suggesting that you contemplate ACTUALLY having what you fear.   Truth is you would be upset, at first.  then you would see a neurologist regularly and you would swallow some anti-seizure pills.  The BIG thing would be likely not being able to drive--at least for a while.  States have rules on how long a person has to be seizure free to be able to drive again.  After making that adjustment, you would go on and live your life LIKE other epileptic people do.     Epilepsy is not a life ender.





 
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

Offline Jonnysmith

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #13 on: July 07, 2014, 05:39:35 PM »
I know it seeks like I am such hard work just looking at someone having seizure looks so horrendous for the person having it, the shaking the screaming the injuries and possible choking looks so painful that besides with what you must see when it happens. Worst thing is wgat feeling or what do you see before you go into a seizure scares me even more. I know no one knows in life what can happen with anyone but its scary at 33 years old to just develop it, and as you say it would be strange to not have had a seizure with all my deja vu but I have read lots of sites online that say people can have deja vu for years then it can change into worse seizures
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Just made myself worried sick
« Reply #14 on: July 07, 2014, 05:48:27 PM »
Most epileptics on meds are well controlled.  they don't have many seizures.  I know not really anything you want to hear....

if you look stuff up, in your state of mind, you are going to find scary stuff.  and, sorry, but that is your fault for doing that.


I am not trying to sound mean, but I am going to bow out of posting on your threads anymore.   It seems you are just not ready or are unable to hear anything other than what your fears are telling you.   Hopefully, in a couple of years when you still haven't had a seizure, your fear of seizures will go away.

good luck and be well.
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MOST anxiety occurs on a subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state

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