Hi AnxietyZone. To start off I would like to say that I am a 19 year old college student, male, who was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety disorder since I was 11. I am also a hypochondriac (I think?). I take 40mg of Prozac once a day in the morning.
My anxiety has been fine. But even since last week, it has gotten really really bad. There are A LOT of plausible contributing factors to me getting my anxiety again. I have also developed a HUGE fear of:
* Having rabies
* Being allergic to anything such as food or drugs (even acne cream)
* Being sick with a terminal disease that my doctor does not see
It all started two weeks ago when my skin doctor prescribed me Clindamycin Phosphate and Benzoyl Peroxide Gel, 1%*/5%. I've always had a fear of trying new drugs because I am afraid of overdosing. So I applied the gel to my face and it felt fine. Then I went to lay in bed and started to get some anxiety. After my throat felt kind of tight and it felt like something was in it. I thought I was having an allergic reaction to it (I'm only allergic to one thing that I know of and it's a sort of antibiotic, but my skin doctor knows this). I panicked the entire night and barely slept. I didn't' use the cream since.
A few days after that my parents had to leave to Georgia for ten days so I would be the only one in the house, thus having to look after my three dogs. This gave me some anxiety alone. I didn't want to to leave, but I didn't tell them that because I didn't want to be a bother to them (what a huge mistake). When they left, I went on my computer and played games for a few hours (I haven't had anything to eat or really drink so far). After I went to hang with my friend and we went to a pizza place. I ordered two Jamaican beef patties and ate them at my friends house. A few hours or so after eating them I felt a little nauseous. I then threw up in his bathroom twice. Whenever I walked a bit I felt slightly nauseous so I drove back home.
Needless to say, I was freaking out, constantly worrying about why I threw up. I was having a really bad panic attack I tried to call my parents but they weren't picking up. I went online to look up diagnostics and symptoms I was having (I know, a bad idea) but that didn't help. I cried myself to sleep that night. When I woke up I felt a bit better. But when I walked I still felt a bit sick. My other friend asked if I wanted to go out to eat with him and I said sure. So we went to a buffet. I took myself some fried rice, bread, and lo mein. I was only able to eat a few bights because I would feel really sick whenever I swallowed and I had trouble swallowing my food which scared me even more.
I then went home and called my parents. After crying and arguing a lot on the phone, my parents decided to call my friends parents and have them pick me up and stay at their house so I wouldn't be alone. I was only to eat one or two bites of pasta that they served me, then I went to sleep on their couch. The next few days sucked. Basically my dad flew back over on a plane three days later to come stay with me because I was still constantly scared shitless. An overview would of what happened was:
* Didn't eat anything for three days, but drank a good amount of Gatorade
* Had a fear of just dying in general or dying from starvation or from dehydration
* It's still difficult for me to swallow
**I went to see a doctor about the fact that I threw up and told him how I had problems swallowing and havent been eating much. He told me he's sure its my anxiety and told me to get 150mg anti-acid tablets and take those before bed to help with my throat and difficulty swallowing because he believes I have a gastro-something something (not sure what the word was) problem because I felt pain when he pressed on the middle of my body, and lower left.**
Now fast forward to today, I am now able to eat without trouble and drink without trouble, nor do I feel sick anymore, BUT:
* My throat still feels tight sometimes
* My swallowing feels weird, like I'm not swallowing entirely
* I have a HUGE fear of having rabies (which I will get into next paragraph)
* And I'm afraid of having liquids or solids stuck in my lungs
* My stomach burns and throat burns sometimes and I get pains under my lower left rib and lower middle part of my body (6 inches or so above my belly button)
*Sometimes feel slightly lightheaded or nauseous
CURRENTLY, the thing I'm scared about the most is rabies. I am now thinking of all these times I could have been exposed to it or gotten it from something. It goes as follows:
* A month ago, I was catering at someones house for work and my friend was walking in front of me when all of a sudden a bat (I'm pretty sure) flew right in front of him from out of a bush and flew away. I was right behind him. **What if that bat bit me or something without me noticing or I somehow got infected from it when it flew by because it was so close?**
* Later that day when I had to stand at a table outside to serve food to people, I noticed something dripping two or three times on me. I felt a drip on my head, but it wasn't raining and there weren't any clouds out. Then I felt a drip on my arm, but then it stopped. There was a tree right over me and some branches over me. **My fear is that maybe it was a bat and it salivated on me or bit me or the saliva got on a open would when I was serving?**
* The next thing that happened, about 3 weeks ago or so I think, I was at my friends house and they have a small dog. It has always been a nasty dog. Whenever me or my other friends would try to walk around or go up the stairs it would try and nip at our feet! Well this time when I didn't have any shoes on, I walked up the stairs and it managed to bite my foot (can't remember which one but most likely left foot). I don't know if it drew blood because I wasn't worried at the time. **Now I'm so scared of getting rabies from there dog, I don't know if it is up with its vaccines or not but I do know their dog is currently fine to this day. I'm so worried I could of gotten rabies from the bite!**
* Another thing where I'm afraid that I was exposed to rabies was when I was at my friends place. I went outside when it was dark to get something from my car. When I closed my door, while pressing (I think, not sure) I felt a quick half a second prick to my middle finger. There wasn't any blood that I could see. When I went inside I noticed that when I pressed down that there was a super super minuscule red pin dot on my finger. It was almost like it was under my skin or something. **Now I terrified of it being a bat bite!!!**
* Last Tuesday I woke up and saw I had a few red dots on both my arms and hands (but not my palms), but nowhere else on my body. I'm freaking out about this too! There still on my, but kinda faded. Obviously I'm having a fear it's because of rabies.
*And finally, I noticed when I had some dried up blood or something on my head. I'm so scared of it being a bat bite that dried up!
I'm sorry this post is so long! I've just been keeping this all bottled up for a few weeks and can't even function normally because of it. I am in total constant fear. Please help me!
**tl;dr Got sick thus getting anxiety back. Now have huge fear of rabies and being allergic to anything. Can't function normally because I'm so scared. Read the post for details!
That's my story so far. To recap on my CURRENT symptoms they would be:
-Burning in chest and stomach sometimes
- Sometimes lightheaded
- Afraid I'm going crazy from rabies!
- Red dots on arms (not a lot)**