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Author Topic: Still Convinced I'm Mad - Bizarre, unexplainable thoughts  (Read 215 times)

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Offline TopBananas

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Still Convinced I'm Mad - Bizarre, unexplainable thoughts
« on: July 03, 2014, 05:31:44 PM »
Hey guys,

Another post. I'm absolutely convinced, scared and terrified that I am losing it. I've started to not have any physical anxiety symptoms, not even really feeling anxious, but i just have these extremely weird thoughts, as if things don't make sense anymore. I think about humans and it's as if I can't relate to other humans now and it's all so weird how we're just humans - I know this sounds weird but I really can't explain it. I feel terrible, I get woken up by thoughts as opposed to anxiety and i'm having a ahrd time believing that it really is just anxiety. The word 'anxiety' when i think about it just seems weird, as if it's clouded or warped somehow - can extremely odd thoughts that i obsess about constantly be anxiety? Symptoms of anxiety? I'm so confused and I'm terrified about losing my mind, and with the human thing losing contact with the people i love and the world around me.

I'm 20 years old, had a massive panic attack about 2 1/2 months ago that triggered all of this off - I started with severe anxiety following this attack that has constantly changed and I'm now feeling like this, just so foreign and strange. It's horrible! Before the panic attack  I started noticing some symptoms of heart/chest pain that i now think was anxiety related to my dad who had a ehart attack a couple of months before this all started. I see a therapist every week which has helped somewhat but overall I just feel TERRIBLE, weird, horrible, foreign, like I'm going mad, all of the time. I can't enjoy anything.

Thanks for your support, it's really appreciated.
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Still Convinced I'm Mad - Bizarre, unexplainable thoughts
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2014, 05:33:49 AM »
I don't think you are going mad. Your mind just might be trying to process everything around you. Thus giving you these thoughts. Might be breaking life down and trying to understand what is going on. Only you have started at the very start. Human begins. What are they. How are they made up. Why do they think as they do. But you know you have problems. So you see yourself as different to these other people. You mind is trying to work it all out in a series of thoughts. Which is what can happen if we have a lot of questions and no answers at all.
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Offline coderbrah

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Re: Still Convinced I'm Mad - Bizarre, unexplainable thoughts
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2014, 07:50:11 AM »
These symptoms are called depersonalization/derealization. Very common in anxiety sufferers. Thoughts and feelings of things seeming 'off', feelings of unreality, existantial thoughts, feeling as if you're an observer of your own body, detachment etc.

As terrifying as they may feel they are conpletely harmless and not a gradual descent into "losing it". It's just a tired but wired mind trying to make sense of it all.
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Offline TopBananas

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Re: Still Convinced I'm Mad - Bizarre, unexplainable thoughts
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2014, 01:25:51 PM »
It's certainly reassuring to hear these things. The fact that I have certain moments of clarity should hopefully be an indicator that it isn't a more serious illness as well, but as I'm sure you will know it's not easy to convince ourselves that we are fine when we are feeling so horrific!

Will these thoughts, feelings and strange ideas eventually fade like any other symptom?
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Offline will402

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Re: Still Convinced I'm Mad - Bizarre, unexplainable thoughts
« Reply #4 on: July 05, 2014, 07:45:57 AM »
hey man,

I have a similar situation right now, for two and a half months I have been fighting this wierd feeling of disconnection for so long. I think it was because I was afraid of actually having depersonalisation that I fought against it.

I have had moments where it was nearly back to normal, then my anxiety would ramp back up due to my thought process, sending me into a spiral of worry and further detachment. All I can say to you is its quite normal, once you get a bit of a grip on it you can start to tackle it properly, by excessive worrying wont help.

However this is obviously what I am doing right now because its easier to say that then actually do it!
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Offline TopBananas

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Re: Still Convinced I'm Mad - Bizarre, unexplainable thoughts
« Reply #5 on: July 05, 2014, 09:59:03 AM »
I keep having these split second thoughts that this life isn't all there is, and that I'm disconnected from everything... it's terrifying. I think I definitely do the same thing - being scared of depersonalisation so don't want it and will fight against it but I guess that won't help at all.
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