So wow!, I must have a really crappy therapist. I have seen the same therapist for lets see three years now. And before that like five more in four years. Sorry for sounding like an idiot. I am thankful that I have someone that I can go and talk to, but frankly I get more from this website then my therapist. Unfortunately my insurance provides very limited help when it comes to mental health. Yes I have a Psychologist and Psychiatrist, the later being better, but my Psychologist has no idea how to help me. I know for a fact that I don't have the correct cocktail of medications. It is very frustrating. I take medications that are "supposed" to help me, but are they actually working. I have nothing to compare it to. I can tell you this, I was once a "normal" human being. A great job, friends, family, enjoyed do things. Now I am a fraction of that person. I can not hold a job because my memory is stew. I can not concentrate for very long. I eat, drink and sleep my thoughts every second of everyday. I try to go out and do things but I can't even do that. It's like the life has been totally sucked out of me. I have attempted to write out my thoughts and I am doing it now. A journal is of no use to me. I am trying to read a book and do homework from a CBT book, but that is hit and miss. I know I am sounding sarcastic, but my life is a joke. I have been like this for six years and I have no idea how to fix this.
If there is anyone out there who feels like this, please write back and give me some useful advice.