Hi . . . glad you came by . . . .
I think that you are trying to cope with a lot of different events in your life and perhaps a lot of unresolved feelings . . .
Perhaps you see in the added responsibilities of caring for your 2-year old brother, a loss of your own freedom when you want to be finding out about yourself as we all do when we are in our early teens . . .
Mom is doing what she wants/needs to do and Dad is gone doing what she wants/needs to do and you are the one who needs to take care of your brother.
Your brother is 2 years old and probably has scooped a lot of attention from your parents, yet you are the one who, maybe from your perspective, is paying the price.
Going to bed and getting up and taking care of a little child is no easy task and more difficult when someone is coping with her own health issues of anxiety.
As careful as you are (re: the nails), your Dad's reaction to tell you to be more careful for something you did not do, probably also made you frustrated and, yes, angry . . . and it is okay to be angry at the situation but you need to remember your brother is only 2 and is doing things without any idea of any inherent danger . . . but that does not make you feel any better when you are the one being told to be careful.
All of this pressure is probably triggering nightmares and the fear that something might happen to your brother that is totally out of your control and that is affecting your sleep.
You have to give yourself credit that you are putting his needs ahead of yours, but there are other underlying issues that you need to address to deal with your anxiety . . . dreams are not reality but they can have a bit of a core of a flag saying that it may be time for you to address issues . . . have you spoken to your parents about how you feel about the added responsibility? have you spoken about maybe that you feel that your needs are being overlooked in favour of your brother? Oh, I know, sometimes we have to help out at home but you also needed some undivided attention to feel valued . . .
And, about the nails in the wall . . . . in our panic and anxiety, our minds do very odd things . . .perhaps you thought they were missing because your mind was racing ahead to what * might * happen and then when you were able to look again after a while, you say reality . . .this is what anxiety does especially when it is in panic mode . . .
What you need to do is something for you . . .yes, you do have to stay . . .you cannot leave a 2 year old child . . . but grab a pen and a piece of paper and start writing what you are feeling . . . .and what you want to happen to help you feel better . . . .then start talking with your parents or, if you are seeing a therapist, with the counselor . . . those are the beginning steps for negotiating a compromise . . . it won't be easy because parents who are overstressed themselves often figure that they are doing the best they can . . .so sometimes you need to start the conversation several times in many different ways . . .
Even though you don't want to stay, you are showing admirable responsibility by staying . . . . yes, a crying baby is irritating and yes, it is unfair, and yes, there are issues, but you are showing such strength of character right now, that I am sure that you can start your process and find a path that helps you to understand the reasons why you dislike your brother when he was born and why you hate this responsibility . . . once you begin to unravel the reasons why, then you can address them . . . I won't lie . . .it is not easy to do and there are roadblocks, but, as I said, you have already shown such maturity to want to deal with the issue that I am sure you will work through this . . . if you think that we can be of any help, please come here if only to say hello and, by the way, never worry about grammar or spelling . . . with us, that does not matter . . .what matters is that you feel safe and welcomed here . . .take care, kc