So today while I was waiting on my husband to pick me up from (ironically) my doctors appointment I received word that one of my good friends had passed away. She also suffered from chronic health issues since the birth of her daughter 9 months ago. I'm absolutely devastated. I've broke down crying almost all day, I kept thinking about her daughter aimlessly looking for her and questioning "mama?" as her mother told me. My heart is breaking. I was at the doctors about my stomach issues and several cysts that have come into play. I've lost a total of 44lbs since 2/4/14. In this past week I've lost a total of 4 lbs. Every time I eat I get this horrible pain so between the lump on my stomach, descended stomach and major weight loss my doctor is sending me to a gyro doctor. She said that the cysts are fine and that the fact that there's so many is a good thing, meaning the more I have the less likely to be cancerous. I'm freaking out, I'm in poor health and all I can think about is my friends last ***** message a few days ago. "Worst headache of my life" Naturally she had been having several issues (just as I have) so people razzed her about being online and told her to get off and try an antianixety med. Little did any of us know she was a ticking timebomb. They're almost certian it's a brain aneurysm but have to wait for the final report. She went to lay down because of her headache, her mom told me she's a snorer so when she stopped they went to check on her and she was dead. She said they tried to keep the little girl from seeing anything but this crushes me, I already have had sleeping issues of fear of dying in my sleep. Most days/ nights I can go up to 4/5 days no sleep because of it. This has me all overworked, to make things worse tomorrow is my brithday and I don't want anything to do with being happy. ugh. Why does life suck so bad, why don't doctors listen.