I told my story in the introduction, but these highs and lows have really started to get to me. Until recently, I had been five years at 75mg of Zoloft and doing well. I decided to try decreasing my dose to 50mg, and a couple weeks later (whether dose decrease or whatever) I started having an acute anxiety episode. May 12th, I went up to 100mg, struggled through, living life like a zombie, until right before memorial day weekend, when I experienced such relief I thought the meds had hit the right balance. The rug was pulled out from under my feet however Wed the 28th, and I felt worse than ever - the relief was gone. I began having trouble sleeping again - I can fall asleep because I'm exhausted, but I'll wake anywhere between 3 and 6 am and have difficulty getting back to sleep. I also have issues with eating because the anxiety effects my appetite so much. I got in with a psychiatrist who prescribed 150 mg of Zoloft, and 50mg of Trazodone for sleep. I left her office feeling hopeful and the next few days after I was riding on a combination spike in meds and placebo high. When that wore off, I called her (she is very responsive) and she called in a prescription for Klonopin - with instructions to start with half a .5mg in the morning. That weekend had ups and downs, and when I called her again on Sunday she told me to try a full .5mg in the morning. I did so, and I started noticing that I had moments of relief balancing with the downs. I had a great weekend going to see my friend for her birthday the 13th - 15th, still had a mix of relief and downs monday and tuesday, but since wed of this week I have been feeling much more down. My doc told me I could start taking two .5mg of the Klonopin (one in am, one afternoon).
I saw my father on Wed evening and just broke down, (I've always been emotional) and I've been crying a lot lately. I haven't been sleeping well these past few days - this morning I awoke at 3:45 and struggled to get back to sleep, and my appetite has taken a hit - I've been relying on Ensure and high protein bars to get the calories I need. I had brunch with my dad before he headed home this morning and I broke down again. I wanted to wait until Monday to call my doc, but I caved and am waiting to hear back from her.
I know this process takes a while. I was just wondering if any others have experienced similar patterns? Have words of encouragement. I'm about to sit out in the sunshine and read a book, and then go for a bike ride. Both things that I know will help. But mornings can be so hard, and it's difficult to pull myself out of bed.
Thanks everyone. I'm so glad I found this.