Sometimes I question the goods and bads to these helpful devilish medications. From starting on them I feel in control of myself... not that the medication controls me but it clears my state of mind. I really wish that I could be able to determine if my SSRI is working and not so much relying on my benzodiazepine..
I've maintained a steady 100mg of Zoloft and have been off and on with the Clonazepam. I've maintained a solid regimen of it but when I go off of it I'm experiencing subconscious clenching (which leads to facial headaches) weird dreams and heightened worry and irritibility. My Psychiatrist re-filled my Clonazepam just to take at night time because she really wants to see how I'm doing during the day with the Zoloft. Taking it at night was soothing for sleep but I felt that I lacked later on in the day time. I've been taking Melatonin to aid in sleep but just consuming the Clonazepam has bettered my sleep regardless on the time of day I take it..
It's very hard to only take it night when I feel more comfortable taking it at the beginning of the day.. which I have been. But I've completed my dosage, a little early and I'm just waiting those few days before I go and refill... just to keep me honest..
Just thinking these next few days are going to be the experience I had going completely off of them rather scares me.. I wish the Zoloft would do the same effects as the benzo did... I hate taking both of them, but I am most comfortable on the effects of Clonazepam... I haven't had to increase my dosage or what not, I feel I am at optimal performance just on my prescribed dosage, which is rather low anyway.
Doc said if I'm not pulling through with the Zoloft then we will regroup and she said if I'm still feeling any sort of outstanding worry or "paranoia" that she has something for that as well, I'm just curious as to what it is..
On the good side I've received a job offer and I gladly accepted it... I'm quite grateful for that. I hope I pull through with both my medication and my career..
I just want something that works.