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Author Topic: Anxiety over pregnancy, childbirth & being a parent  (Read 112 times)

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Offline Lililanny

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Anxiety over pregnancy, childbirth & being a parent
« on: June 19, 2014, 04:39:51 PM »
Hi All,
I am a mother to a 20 month old. I had a normal pregnancy first time around, but a difficult birth which kicked off my PTSD and HA. I also developed severe HA over the health and wellbeing of my child.
Now, I'm starting to come around to the idea of wanting a second child. However, I am so fearful of a few things. Firstly, if I were to fall pregnant, and develop some horrible illness the doctors wouldn't touch me with a barge pole, as it's too risky for the unborn child, no tests, no medication.....I could die! Secondly, I'm worried of having another difficult birth experience and dying during childbirth or due to complications. And thirdly, I worry so much about my child, I just don't know if I could handle the anxiety of worrying for 2 kids, double the anxiety I currently have.
Any advice or words of encouragement from other parents please?
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Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got - Graffito

Offline Lindsay2427

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Re: Anxiety over pregnancy, childbirth & being a parent
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2014, 08:11:22 PM »
Hi. Congrats on being a new mommy. It's an amazing yet overwhelming experience. I am a mother to 4 children ages 7, 5, 4 and 2. I am 27 years old. I have suffered from extremely dabilitsting at times health anxiety since early childhood (around 7 years old) I always had relief from my HA while expecting. I of course had worries but I loved being under the watchful eye of my doctor. I suggest seeking therapy to help overcome your fears.
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Online bpadilla49

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Re: Anxiety over pregnancy, childbirth & being a parent
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2014, 08:29:06 PM »
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!! I'm 26 and have a three year old and 18. Month old. Hubby and I have been thinking about having another one, but I'm terrified of getting pregnant and then getting cancer while pregnant or shortly after, and not be around to raise my precious kiddos. I'm a Christian, so I really prayed hard about it and I came across this book in the book store "lies women believe" - Christian book. One of the things it mentioned was how the enemy will do everything in his power to keep a Christian family from having a/another child because there is a great possibility that the said child will be Christian as well. So he'll lie to us saying things like "we don't have enough money for another child, we don't have enough room for another child, my career is too important right now", ect. Mine is fear. "If I get pregnant I could get cancer and not be able to have treatment". I know that scripture says that fear does not come from The Lord. And that was it for me. Something just clicked. I wish it would do that for my HA! Anyway, just my two cents ;-)
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Offline sixpack

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Re: Anxiety over pregnancy, childbirth & being a parent
« Reply #3 on: June 19, 2014, 08:47:05 PM »
I have 6 kids.  5 home grown and 1 adopted  :happy0151:   My oldest will be 27 on 6/28  :sprachlos020: .  My others are 19,17,16,13 & 11.  What a great life I have with my hubs and kids.  they are truly the lights in my life.

each pregnancy and birth and child are all different.  so having a difficult birth the first time around means nothing for future peanuts.

and regarding getting ill and/or dying during pregnancy:  all of that is the product of your anxiety disorder.  One thing I know for sure is that anxiety lies.  the trick is not falling for those lies.  the real tragedy would be for you to make life decisions based on the lies your anxiety is peddling to you.  Don't you think?  Whether you have more children or not DON'T decide out of fear.

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MOST anxiety happens at the subconscious level.  JUST because you don't feel consciously anxious or had a day or two of calm doesn't mean your mind & body are relaxed.  It can take months of reduced anxiety before a body goes back to a more non-reactive state. 

Offline aroseb2013

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Re: Anxiety over pregnancy, childbirth & being a parent
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2014, 10:20:58 PM »
I was a nervous wreck when I was pregnant, especially the third trtrimester. 

Shes now 8 months old and healthier than ever. I want another one but before I do, i wanna get my anxiety under control.

My fear is getting an illness that will enable me to take care of Alyvia. I stay up many nights just thinking about it. I have never been an anxious person. I'm still learning how to cope. .,or manage it.
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Offline Lililanny

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Re: Anxiety over pregnancy, childbirth & being a parent
« Reply #5 on: June 20, 2014, 06:19:56 PM »
It's just like a triple threat of worry and anxiety in this case. Worrying if I'd even make it through the pregnancy alive, and if I do, not making it through the childbirth,....but if I do then not making it much further after that (or my child).
Such anxiety!
I have a couple of big things I'm concerned about health wise and I feel that if I could get the all clear on those, then it might be ok to go ahead and try to get pregnant. But realistically I know that if I get the all clear on those, then it will be on to something else. There's always something else. ANd then my pregnancy would be 40 weeks of being a nervous wreck obviously isn't good for either Mammy or baby.
Then childbirth. Sheesh. There are not enough words.
And then forever worrying about my little bundle.
But my daughter has brought me so much joy and love too, which definitely outweighs any of the negatives that it has brought too. But I guess I didn't know what to expect the first time around. This time, I know what I could expect, and that concerns me even more.
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Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got - Graffito

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