1st a little bit about me..
i had pure o (harm thoughts /schitz thoughts) it hit me like a brick wall i would cry in my bed at night thinking i would hurt someone in my family and that i was also schitz and this would make me do the thoughts i dread!!
this was 2 years ago and i this happened and i came to the conclusion that i am not my thoughts as a thought is just a thought and after months and month of fighting with depersonalisation and thinking i was not real and so on i gave in and figured i cant change my thoughts so why worry about them and i started to get better then BOOM a set back (didnít know this at the time) and i started to feel oohhh no i cant go back to feeling like this trying to put into place what made me feel better last time but it wasnít working and i was googling again running out of my work.. avoiding my work and so on..
i found a web site called anxiety no more.. this was about a guy who went through anxiety and came out the other end and wrote a book about it so i bought the book (at last a life by pauld David)
in the book it explained everything (not necessary what was going through my head but how i felt)...
so i read the book and started to implement his advise and that was acceptance..
at 1st i used acceptance to change the way i was thinking feeling and it wasnít working and this would make me feel worse.. searching constantly for a way to feel better the "magic pill" that would make it all go away.. maybe i would wake up tomorrow and i would feel better.. but it never came and i never felt better the next morning as the 1st thing that came to mind was all my past thoughts..
this was a learning curve as it is our natural instinct to want to get rid of the to fight it but in essence all you are doing is making it worse and it comes back with a vengeance.. ever noticed you find something online it calms you down for you to only feel worse later.. thatís because seeking reassurance is part of the anxiety circle.
if you try and wish it away.. thinking it away... searching for answers (google).. and so on it will never go away as you are not willing to accept what is actually going on is anxiety.. anxiety thoughts come in all sorts of shapes and sizes...
what stays the same is the way it makes you feel.. that doesnít change. racing heat feeling faint list goes on
what i did was i 1st accepted i had anxiety and by accepting it i had to accept the way it made me feel the thoughts it throw at me.... this included all the mind chatter the past thoughts the heart racing... as with doing nothing and not questioning you are facing the fear by not trying to elevate the feeling and that you are willing to tolerate it and carry on with your life with it there beside you
i have done the above and i can say i no longer fear any of the thoughts feelings... yes there is still some days my anxiety levels go up (due to a past thought memory) but i leave it be. if a pure o thought comes i just leave it be and take it for what it is a just a thought that meant nothing
and through time it becomes a natural habit to ignore and carry on and you then find your mind starts to wonder on to other subjects other than being in your own head all the time..
so anxiety isnít to be beat it needs to be accepted.... you wouldnít try and walk with a broken leg you would give it time to heal.
so please please give your mind the wrest it is craving and let it heal in its own time.
ps i didnt use any medication just a lot of self belief that I had anxiety