Maybe I can't heal because I still believe something is wrong with me? Can adrenal fatigue wreck havoc? I think I have that lol sorry . All these physical problems started after my year of panic attacks. Anti depressants make me worse, I'm eating better, losing weight, getting sun, reading more, I don't work anymore because of this just a full time student. I thought I would make headway by now. I used to be extremely horny but I have no drive anymore. Anxiety sucks, when I was dying of typhus I felt better than this lol
Yes anxiety is very difficult. I always shake my head in amazement when I read posts saying, "is it justanxiety," "I hope it is anxiety", "can it just be anxiety", "all my tests were clear, thank goodness its just anxiety"
. Then these same people go off living in fear and damned right miserable. Anxiety is not some innocuous nothing. It sucks impacts lives negatively. It hurts you mentally and physically. It sucks joy from your life,, It messes up relationships, I impacts careers...
So, yeah, I can imagine that dying of typhus could be better
what you have to come to understand is ANXIETY LIES
from those lies we find ourselves making all kinds of mistakes, engaging in all kinds of compulsive or obsessive type thinking and behavior, making up all kinds of excuses, and rationalizing the irrational. These lies we accept as truth make our thinking HIGHLY, HIGHLY unreliable. We act like all of those dots we connect make a picture but all it looks like is a jumbled mess. Sometimes I see such irrational conclusions people come up with that if they told me 2 + 2 = 4, I'd likely question if it was true. Bottom line peeps--------- ANXIETY LIES. It LIES as a matter of course. I've tried EVERYTHING and nothing has worked-------- I find this pretty central to the disorder. It is one of the biggest lies (errrrr). okay (maybe better to say) this is probably one of ways we are dishonest with ourselves . WE have convinced ourselves that we've done it all but really we haven't at least not well. We tried one med, for a week, then quit out of fear or some such thing. We went to a therapist for 4 months and it didn't help. But did we, honestly, work with the therapist? Did we do all that the therapist ask? I mean a therapist isn't a miracle worker. If we expect to use the therapist to just vent and nothing else, then therapy won't work. Now if we did do all what the therapist asked and things aren't working, did we talk to the therapist about it? Did we try a few other methods with the therapist? If so, and things still aren't working, then it may be time for a new therapist NOT chuck all therapists out with the bathwater. I tried eating healthy and exercising. I did it for two days and I got scared or it didn't help RIGHT then or it was hard. I tried some hobbies but I still had symptoms. We have to remember that anxiety lies. We start accepting those lies. In order to get better, we can't.
As I mentioned to you in a earlier post: You may be working too hard OR better said, you may be working inefficiently. You may well be eating better, reading, getting out and other proactive things, BUT
I bet dollars to doughnuts that your are also engaging all kinds of reactive behaviors too. What are reactive behaviors?
Those behaviors that keep things amped up, even if it helps for a minute or hour or day or two are: seeking reassurance, self tests, monitoring how the body is feeling, googling, ''peace of mind medical tests/doc appointments . When we engage in these behaviors, we diminish any of the proactive or more positive steps, ie. meditation, exercises, therapy, helpful distractions (things you do that you love), eating healthy, positive affirmations..."
1. an amped up body can take months of proactive habits before making head way.
2. People want getting through this is easy, like taking a pill or saying a cure chant while marching around a tree. It isn't--not by a long shot.
3. if you are looking or paying attention to symptoms while doing the proactive, then you are still monitoring. AND that monitoring is going to slow down any proactive things you do.
4. an amped up body means lots of fight/flight stuff is going on. there is lots of adrenaline being poured into our bodies thinking we are always being chased by the bear. This wears a body out. So any exercise or other proactive activity can make a body more shaky or exhibit other anxiety symptoms.
5. Yes people can try too hard. sounds weird but when one is trying too hard, it means one is monitoring how they feel. If you get what I mean?
6. If one doesn't REALLY believe it is anxiety, like you mentioned, then yep, it is going to make it that much harder to get on your healing path.
things you can do, that over time AND with not keeping the reactive behaviors in tow:
1. Therapy---meds if you and your doctor feel it is appropriate---everybody is different on this issue. but don't discount meds because you are afraid of them or think that meds are only for "weak" people. Remember the BEST therapist isn't a miracle worker. therapy is a two-way street. The client MUST participate and I don't just mean going in and unloading on the therapist. A therapist is there to listen, true, but the therapist is there to challenge and get you to do things to aid in your recovery. So the client must do the "homework" to get the most out of therapy.
2. self-help books--lots of good stuff out there these days ---Claire Weekes has good books out there that explain how it all works. One is Hope and Help for Your Nerves I read "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck many years ago. He speaks to people in a variety of ways. He has a few other books too.
3. Exercise---even if you don't want to. At first you are likely to feel miserable and panicky feelings are likely to bubble up OR rush at you. It is BEASTY (your anxious overthinking) causing this. But do it anyway.
4. Eat a healthy diet. This helps on all kinds areas of your life.
5. Forums often have helpful advice.
6. Hobbies--anything that completely immerses you in it and keeps you occupied. This helps because eventually you'll get snippets of time when you feel good. These are teaching moments because then you know it is obsessions/anxiety mucking with you. After a while those snippets turn to hours then days etc.
7. Don't pity yourself. You can have a happy life. As we experience life, we change. Having any form of anxiety will impact your life just like all life experiences do. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Even once you are on the road to recovery, you will have a 'new' normal but that doesn't mean you aren't happy and fulfilled.
recognize that if your plate is full or you have a lot of stress going on in your life---some that is being ignored and some that is beyond your control and even the stress you are dealing with, will/can be cause of anxious feelings. That means you have to deal with that too. I get most of anxiety/stress type symptoms when my life is stressful. Even though we still have to deal with it because stress/full life is part of life. in my own life I had to learn who I was. I had to recognize how I choose to see things, react to things, can be changed or modified. I had to take responsibility for my actions---thoughts, behaviors
well anyway, I have a full plate today. I need to take my dog out early. My 5th grader has her graduation from elementary school today
I've posted a lot here. I hope it gives you some ideas on how you can get on your healing path. good luck and be well.