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Author Topic: My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy  (Read 207 times)

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Offline creamcheese

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My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy
« on: June 11, 2014, 11:21:48 AM »
Life for me was so different a few months ago, I was hardly worried about any of the things I'm worried now. I was doing an internship from 8AM-5PM, came home and sometimes went to different things that were going on in the city I was living in. Now that I've graduated, I'm living at home and have nothing to do for the time being (with my dad and two grandparents) and will be going soon to my mom's place (3,000 miles away) she lives with her brother, his wife and two kids.

I am constantly worried all the time and can't stop being worried. I'm scared about my parents health. I'm constantly worried about my dad because he doesn't take care of himself or go to doctor's appointments. I'm worried about my mom's health. Little things set me off. I've flown a thousand times, but I'm afraid of flying. I constantly think something bad's going to happen. I can't get these what if thoughts out of my head. I have noticed that these thoughts reoccur especially when I am at home without a set schedule. When I have a schedule or when my family goes to other family member's house, my mind is more at ease.

I am wondering if it's the same for others. I have contemplated reading a few self-help books now that I have the time. suggestions would be welcome
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Offline LO87

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Re: My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2014, 11:53:02 AM »
Absolutely spot on the same for me, even down to only getting really bad anxiety once I'd graduated and had nothing to do. Getting a job saved my life. I had purpose structure and self worth again. That's what really worked for me, as well as cbt. We seem very similar in reasons-- I would recommend both if you can! I honestly was at such a low in this December onwards. I've been working for a month and my anxiety is 70-80% better. Hope you find your answer too, good luck x
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Offline houndlvr1

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Re: My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2014, 02:39:19 PM »
I often feel too that without structure, you anxiety has a garden to grow itself!
If you have the ability to do something to help you stay busy, consider that a few days a week even if it means volunteering.
Alone time is really difficult - it just leaves me too much time to think about things.  I find that if I can distract myself by either helping other people or by taking part of something that uses my time up I feel better.

I think we all worry about the people in our lives that matter most and worry is OK - it means we care.  If however, it consumes us, then sometimes alloting a specific amount of time per day for that "worry" may help.  (Example - I'll allow myself to worry about my mom for 30 minutes and no more.  If I can't get that worry in check, I'll often call her during the day to make sure she is ok.  Doing that is very reassuring.  Granted, I can't do it 10 times a day but most times, once is enough to give me confirmation that all is well with her for that moment. Then I can focus on something else).

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Offline Katlyn87

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Re: My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy
« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2014, 02:45:50 PM »
I am a teacher and I dread school being out for the summer for this exact reason. Try to create routines for yourself, I try to give each day a specific purpose so that I have to get out of bed or off the couch and accomplish something. Example: weds- grocery store day, thurs- library. I know it isnt much, but knowing that I have something specific to accomplish each day, it helps a bit.
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2014, 05:40:19 PM »
Creamcheese, I'm glad you brought up the subject.  I used to think that having GAD, work made me most nervous.
But I've come to realize it is the leisure time that gets me antsy.  At that time, I'm not always sure how to spend my
time.  I agree with folks here that it helps to have projects and places to go, people to gather with.  By all means,
break out of routines also.
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Offline itry31

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Re: My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2014, 08:19:16 PM »
WOW !! Thats how I feel. Idle time is the worst for me. Night time specially when the house quiet.I have lost a child before so I constantly worry about my kids....when Im at work and I see the number on my caller ID I get so nervous to answer and Im SOOOO scared something is wrong with them, my moms an alcoholic with other mental health issues and shell call me in the middle of the nite sometimes..wanting nothing shell just be drunk and emotional but when I tell you just the phone calls alone have my anxiety on a thousand and noone understand that.
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2014, 09:24:07 PM »
This is interesting we can all relate to the challenge of using our free time well.  Sometimes instead of thinking of
it as a burden, I tell myself, "I am going to have fun tonight."  Gotta have a cheerleader.

Itry, sorry that phone calls are stressful for you.  I wonder if you could find a way to welcome the phone calls.
To know that some phone calls can be good.  That's kind of the ACT Acceptance therapy approach.
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Offline houndlvr1

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Re: My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2014, 12:47:01 PM »
I think everyone hates those proverbial calls in the middle of the night. First of all, you're sleeping and are wakened or startled so you're almost immediately on edge. Then if you look at the clock your thought process (at least mine) goes like this - Oh my god. It's 2 am and someone is calling me.  That can't be good!  I go right into panic mode before I even say hello....
It's not as if bad news can't come at any time of the day - I just think that most of us have experienced midnight calls that were not for a positive life moment.

Phone calls can be disruptive and can def. cause some alarm but there are these wonderful services for people who have parents that are senior citizens. THey make friendly calls on a weekly basis to the home bound just to make their day a bit brighter.  I think thats a great thing to do if you believe every phone call is a danger.  It would almost be like training yourself to be the positive end of a phone call for someone else - and maybe, just maybe that would help you see that not all calls are "bad".
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Offline 59Ballons

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Re: My anxiety is out of control when I'm not busy
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2014, 03:43:58 PM »
Same with me!!!!!! I've been suffering from existential depression and I feel totally 100% okay while I'm at school (Sophomore in high school), but when I come home, I start worrying about life itself and get in a pit of dread and angst over how i'm alive. I'm worried because I have summer vacation coming up. Everyone else is extatic and thrilled over it... And I should be too..  But I'm dreading it because I know that my days will only be filled with anxiety from sunrise to sunset. Try Luminosity, it helps a bit. I'm starting to feel better... But I keep falling back.
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Distraction is life's best remedy.

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