I truly do not think any of you are being harsh. I promise your harsh words are what I need. I need others to tell me that I need help. I actually really love the advice I am giving here. Going beck to my CC scare most everyone encouraged the colonoscopy to full out any health risks and then get help for my anxiety. After finally getting the courage to have the colonoscopy and finding out that I was completely fine and didn't have CC I swore up and down my HA would be gone. It would be the last thing on my mind. But the next day after having my all clear biopsy results from my Gastro my PanCan fear started. I feel like I would be completely HA free if I didn't have symptoms of a sinister disease. But I have a symptom of PanCan ( upper gastric pain) so of course I'm going to worry and obsess because I have the symptom. Since obsessing and worrying I seem go get the pains more. I don't know if my anxiety causes it or if I do have PanCan and it's growing and intensifying.
I AM GOING TO MAKE EVERYONE A PROMISE TODAY. I am calling my insurance today for a list of therapist in my area who expects my insurance. I found an outstanding therapist who I really want to see. He is a specialist in OCD and phobias. Perfect I have a complete obsession with my cancer phobia. But he doesn't except insurance and he is like $250 an hour I'm hoping I can find someone great who takes my insurance provider.
This is really good news. Look around there are many good therapists who specialize in anxiety and take insurance. It's hard to convince ourselves due to hyperawareness and OCD thinking that a symptom is a symptom. I have had upper gastric pain on and off for 20+ years. I don't know many physicians who would even consider PC in your age group with that one symptom you have especially with your history of HA. Our minds make up symptoms, they magnify symptoms then we catastrophize symptoms. To break that cycle almost always takes the need for outside help.