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Author Topic: my past always comes back to haunt me  (Read 156 times)

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Offline nathanjh

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my past always comes back to haunt me
« on: June 09, 2014, 11:25:20 AM »
So in starting to notice a cycle with my anxiety which I guess is a good thing but still kinda sucks. I have a bit of a colourful past I never hurt anyone else more or less I was used and hurt and it caused me to make some poor decisions.

In short form when I was 18 I started getting contacted by fitness modeling agents and mangers. All in which turned out to be minpulative people who just wanted things from me of a sexual nature. I never allowed for this to happen, but I was convinced at one point that I need to make some nude solo videos to get anywhere with my life, for months I was told that doing this would help me and my family, a bit of black mail and threats were also used at times. I've since had all the work that was posted online removed and some of it never made it online because I didn't allow it.

Ive since learned from my mistakes and turned my life around its been over 2 years. Here's the problem anytime I get close to a girl and we start hanging out I get this anxiety that of I don't reveal this secret right away I'm a bad person. I know if I was to get in a serous relationship I would sit the girl down and tell her or if she happened to hear about and asked (some people in my home town have heard rumors but it blew over a bit) I have before and it doesn't go that bad for the most part. But how do I deal with this guilt when I'm with a girl that I'm not even sure is gonna last. Please help
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Offline Pink Cat

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Re: my past always comes back to haunt me
« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2014, 05:04:12 PM »
The most important thing is that you aren't currently doing any of those things, right?  I think if you were still doing things like that it might be important to tell the girl you were interested in so that she knows what shes getting into, but as long as you have stopped and learned from your mistakes I don't think it's wrong to wait till you can trust her to tell her those things.  It's not like you're a bad guy trying to trick her into thinking you're a really respectable person, thinking, "Now I've got her, she will feel bad if she leaves after spending so much time in this relationship," because you are a respectable person now.  The person she sees is good and doesn't just look like he's good.  Your past isn't your present, and your present is what counts.  :)

It took me a while to tell my boyfriend some of the things that were odd or embarrassing about me, and it took him a while to tell me the stuff he thought was odd or embarrassing.  I didn't blame him for keeping it to himself for a while.  Trust is earned.  If you found someone of quality I think they would be proud of you for turning your life around and understand why you didn't want to explain something kind of secret and personal on your very first date or something.  lol 

Good luck.  :)
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The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... and spiders.

Offline nathanjh

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Re: my past always comes back to haunt me
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2014, 11:29:22 PM »
No i am definitely not doing that anymore I've been totally open about the person I am now. Chances are me and this girl will be going our separate ways in a few months as she's going to school. So we are just kinda having fun right now. I realize my past is my past and I really don't need to bring it up at least right now. I just feel bad for what ever reason I believe anxiety has a lot to do with it

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Offline nathanjh

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Re: my past always comes back to haunt me
« Reply #3 on: June 10, 2014, 10:00:53 AM »
Oh and thanks for the response and advice I'm still struggling with it a bit but I'm gonna keep fighting it hopefully soon enough my brain will agree with me.
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