I'll tell him in a couple of weeks when I go back. It's been rough lately. At 50mg of Fluoxetine I started to feel better somewhat, but I also had side effects so I was told to bring it down a bit... So I did, to 45mg. Now I lack energy and I feel zoned out. I think I've said it before, but if I am driving I get to my destinations fine, but I feel like my mind and body are acting on instinct rather than full-on concentration. Like on the highway I'll maintain speed with traffic, brake if necessary, use my blinker to switch lanes and exit onto the service road, but I don't feel like I am thinking about it. Same thing at work if I am doing paperwork. It's like I cannot tap into my cognitive abilities. I feel stupid. I know I am not stupid, but it's like there is a roadblock there.
Today I feel pretty sick. My chest aches (I think it's from an injury last year that never healed completely or correctly along the costosternal joint), I have a sense of nausea, I'm tired... again. But I trudge into work. I took off next Monday and Tuesday, so at least I'll have an extended weekend. I took a Xanax (.25mg) and I'll take my Propranolol a bit later so I'm not too tired.
I'm hoping the Strattera helps out, although I fear the (initial) side effects. I never wanted to take medication to begin with, and now I am taking 3-4 medications. I fear for my safety, and I do have bad thoughts (Not suicidal). For example, I woke up this morning at 5AM (This has been happening a lot lately), despite me having to be up by 6-6:15AM. I'll use the bathroom and lay back down, but then I thought about my parents and what if one of them had passed away overnight (Early 60's). They are in pretty good health overall, but I always have that fear, which may stem from my service in the fire department (volunteer) where I had seen people just pass away - people younger than my parents. I brushed the feeling off and went back to bed for an hour (I do cherish sleep!).
I am going to try and do more positive self-talk. Although I have a hard time retaining information, I bought Arnold Schwarzenager's (I probably totally butchered his last name) book on my Fire tablet, which people have said is a good book for self-motivation and self-growth.
Anyway, I don't want to ramble on. You have other people to help, insights, and I don't want to abuse picking your brain lol. But I do appreciate any and all input thus far and any future input. It's hard to find people that have the knowledge and actually care enough to help others on forums.