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Author Topic: Neurology appointment tomorrow  (Read 225 times)

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Offline bpadilla49

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Neurology appointment tomorrow
« on: June 03, 2014, 02:48:49 PM »
Starting to get anxious about my neurology appointment tomorrow. I am on a brain tumor kick right now  :(

I think I'm having simple partial seizures, I have daily headaches (and I'm on a medication for IBS that is also prescribed for daily headaches), Sometimes have balance issues, ect.

My husband doesn't want me to go and spend the money, and I get that. Money is super tight for us right now. The testing alone we'd basically have to pay out of pocket for because our deductible is $5000  B-;

Anyway - praying for the best, and seriously thinking about skipping the appointment. I have a "gut" feeling that this is all anxiety related. I just want to start trying for a baby and be healthy!   :traurig001:
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Offline bpadilla49

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Re: Neurology appointment tomorrow
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2014, 03:45:45 PM »
Also, the website of the neurologist I'm seeing tomorrow says that he doesn't order labs/tests unless he feels it's absolutely necessary. Do you think this is a good thing or a bad thing when it comes to my anxiety?
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Offline Dayvid

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Re: Neurology appointment tomorrow
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2014, 04:08:48 PM »
I'll keep you in my prayers - I will!

Read my latest post in the epilepsy post. I've been through a lot of what you speak of. Dejavu, strange smells. And i'm still here! Anxiety can play havoc!!

Best of luck!! And keep in touch with us.
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Offline bpadilla49

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Re: Neurology appointment tomorrow
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2014, 11:19:30 PM »
I'm having reservations about going to see the neurologist tomorrow. I just don't even want to think about it. I don't want an MRI or an EEG. I don't even want the doctor to say "well, I don't think you have a brain tumor, but we need to do the test to rule it out anyway". I'm tempted to skip the appointment, save the money, and say "if it truly is a brain tumor, it will get worse" "If it's anxiety, then I'll just deal with it". This has only been my current fear for a few weeks, not like I've been working up months and months to go to the doctor. In the past 10 months, I've basically had every body part examined either by a doctor, blood tests, imaging, ect - besides my brain. Which is probably why I'm focusing on it.

Can anyone give me any advice?
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Offline catrinrode

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Re: Neurology appointment tomorrow
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2014, 12:39:03 AM »
I bet if you go to the appt. the doctor will clear you. You will feel relieved for a day and move on to the next body part or question what the doctor says. If your gut says it's anxiety I am almost certain it is.
Don't spend the money- it won't treat your anxiety.
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Offline bpadilla49

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Re: Neurology appointment tomorrow
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2014, 11:48:18 AM »
Well, I didn't go to my appointment. I couldn't bring myself to go. I don't know if it was fear that kept me from going, or a willingness not to feed into this anxiety - but now I kinda regret not going  :(
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Offline Dayvid

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Re: Neurology appointment tomorrow
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2014, 12:53:05 PM »
Just replied to you in the other thread, didn't see this! Sorry!

I'm sorry you were too scared... I think I'd be the same.

You've had these symptoms for so long, and they are so similar to mine and others i've spoke to. I honestly doubt very much you have epilepsy or seizures caused by the "t" word. It's something that scared me for so long. I had dejavu, strange smells, DP/DR, vision problems i've had them all - I'm not just saying that, I truly have.

I still sometimes feel unreal and get the occasional dejavu - but take it from me, once I rationalised with myself that these things linked SO closely with my anxiety. I never had another episode. Ever.

Everyone gets dejavu, but anxiety messes with our minds. Think how much it can mess with your bladder, bowels etc etc. Any organ (brain included) is subject to a beating from our anxiety. It's no wonder we get these strange and bizarre "episodes"
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Offline krja80

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Re: Neurology appointment tomorrow
« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2014, 12:56:02 PM »
bpadilla49...sucks doesn't it? I get where you are. It's awful to be in that in between stage where you need the relief of knowing that nothing is wrong with you, but you can't bring yourself to the place where you "risk" the slight possibility of finding out something awful, so you just decide to stay stuck. To sit with it for days, months, years, decades...hoping, wishing, praying that the symptoms will disappear and that something will provide relief. But they never do. They stick around, because our minds are ill. The pathways in our brain that focus on symptoms and on death and despair are worn so deep, like a path through a thick forest, that we can't escape. I am as you are, I want to go jump head first into an MRI and I can't bring myself to do it. So I sit. And I wait. Some days are okay, some even good, most are not. I wait for the worst to happen, and I wish that I were not this way. I get where you are, with the brooding, the worry, the anxiety, the deep sadness, the hopelessness, and the wish for normalcy (whatever that is). I have no words of wisdom for you. I have no solutions to your problems. Because they are my problems too. I just merely wanted to express to you, that you're not alone. You're not unique in this worry and fear based existence. And I'm hopeful that just knowing that there is someone else out there that is as you are will provide a small amount of solace in what seems like a deep unrelenting ocean of uncertainty. I don't know anything about you, but I will share something with you that is very personal to my life. What gets me through my worst days, is the hope of something better. I am deeply spiritual and know that this is not what I was put here to do. I wasn't meant to live this way. This isn't the center of my story. I know that there are better days to come because I believe that no human life is meant to suffer as their norm. I believe in God and in the love that he has for me and for all of us, and I hope that my faithfulness is met with mercy and that with hard work I will come out of the other side of this. Even better than before. I've struggled with this all of my life, and over the last 15 years especially. I have to find hope in the fact that I've had symptoms of impending doom for decades, and I'm still here typing to you. When I'm at my lowest, these are the things that help me.
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Offline bpadilla49

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Re: Neurology appointment tomorrow
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2014, 12:58:06 PM »
Yes. I did reschedule for next week, just in case I muster up the courage to go. I also have an appointment with my oncologist this Friday (I have a blood disorder, not cancer - and I have to see an oncologist/hematologist every few months) so maybe I'll bring it up to him. I mean, after all, he sees brain tumor patients as well - if the tumor is cancerous anyway. So hopefully he'll give me some reassurance.

The good thing is that the facility I rescheduled with has an MRI machine in their office and so the patients get the results the same day they have the testing...which is good, since the wait for me (and for all of us) is unbearable.
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Offline bpadilla49

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Re: Neurology appointment tomorrow
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2014, 01:05:49 PM »
krja - thanks for your reply. I've gotten a lot of support on here explaining my symptoms as anxiety, so I'm hanging onto that and clinging to God, as well. I've started this new Bible study by myself called "Fearless" by Max Lucado. I HIGHLY recommend it. It's brought me so much closer to God, and I think that's partly why I didn't go today - I'm just trusting in Him and trying to accept the diagnosis as anxiety, and nothing more.
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