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Author Topic: Analysis paralysis/fear of the future!  (Read 163 times)

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Offline SummerSun41

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Analysis paralysis/fear of the future!
« on: June 02, 2014, 10:13:56 AM »
I've been dealing with this looming fear of the future for a while now and I don't know what to do! I hate feeling this way and I hate the feeling of fear, apprehension, and negativity that I've been projecting into my future.

Granted, I'm about to make big life changes by way of getting married and moving into a house or apartment (from my parents house where I've lived comfortably for 22 years). I also do not have a "real job" even though I'm working full time at the same company where I've worked part-time for years (not making a salary or anything, just bumped up hours now that I'm finished with college). It's not what I want to do as a career but what I intended to do with my undergraduate degree didn't pan out the way I initially hoped. So I'm stuck in a state of indecision on where to go, even though I feel the need to have it figured out before we buy a house and get married next June.

I don't know where this feeling comes from, other than the uncertainty about the future. I feel fine & feel like myself when I'm with my friends and family, but when I'm left alone my mind defaults to scary thoughts about "what if I can't figure out what to do with my life? What if my marriage isn't as great as I hope? What if something is seriously wrong with me, mentally?!" So many scary sensations run through my mind. Logically, I know my upcoming marriage is going to be wonderful, but anxiety makes me overthink and question everything! Same thing with moving out- I've had issues with derealization and I know that moving to a new community is going to cause me to feel uncomfortable, so I'm worried about that. What if I hate it and want to go home?? I'm just so afraid of the limitations anxiety is having on my life. I fear depression also so I'm constantly monitoring my moods as well, and it scares me that I'm not as "carefree" as I used to be (only when I'm feeling anxious- like I said, when I'm distracted by friends and family or busy, all these feelings go away).

Can anyone relate or help me out? It's so frustrating and I just want to get rid of this stupid monster call anxiety!
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Offline Toasted Butter

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Re: Analysis paralysis/fear of the future!
« Reply #1 on: June 02, 2014, 01:44:33 PM »
I think your concerns are very normal for someone in your position in life. I do recommend that you try to see a counselor to help you deal with the anxiety you have; I recommend this to pretty much anyone with anxiety of any sort. You are definitely facing some big changes so it's very normal that you would be anxious at this point, but that doesn't mean that you can't benefit from managing it better, and a counselor could be a great help to you.

My other advice would be to bear in mind that nothing about the future is ever certain no matter what you do, but if you don't take risks, then you can be certain that you will miss out on a lot of life. Moving out, getting married, moving to a new community; these can all be wonderful opportunities but they are full of uncertainty. As you make more of these sorts of changes in your life, you will most likely find that you worry less about them because you have learned through past experiences that they bring rewards that make them worth the risk. Even my first  marriage which ended in disaster after ten years was, in hindsight, a wonderful thing; it brought me two amazing children and ten years' worth of lessons and experience which I brought with me into my current marriage, making it that much more successful. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say.
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Offline CarrieAnn

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Re: Analysis paralysis/fear of the future!
« Reply #2 on: June 02, 2014, 02:43:41 PM »
I agree that at your age it's normal to have the feelings you are having.  I married at 20, moved away from the city to the country, and lived in a cottage house deep in the woods.  Lived there for 7 years, then moved back to the city unscathed :)  I can say I had the same feelings you are having---probably worse!  But now it is about 24 years later, lots of years lived in between, and experiences.....it is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, as I can testify to that as fact.

Don't worry about the feelings you are having, just make the absolute best out of every situation you are given, and things will work out!

Take care :)
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Offline SummerSun41

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Re: Analysis paralysis/fear of the future!
« Reply #3 on: June 02, 2014, 09:13:22 PM »
Thank you both so much for the encouraging words :) I feel a lot better already from your advice and I think just writing out what I feel helps tremendously. Thanks again!!
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Offline Kalico

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Re: Analysis paralysis/fear of the future!
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2014, 08:53:21 PM »
I know the feeling of analysis paralysis and what it does for anxiety. I just had an anxiety attack 20 minutes ago actually which is why I came here. I'm in the midst of making a career change since my current career hunt in my first choice field hasn't gone well. I've been going about studying for the IT field but also weighing going a step further and joining the military due to the added benefits in education plus my dad did it for 20 years and I saw how it benefited him. At the same time, I'm wanting to move out since having to move back with my parents alittle while back but haven't felt comfortable doing that without a job. All of these events and choices swirling in my head have really been hell for my stress level it only gets worse when I feel outside pressure. I had an anxiety attack this evening after facing such additional pressure and have hated myself for giving into my fear. I've been so frustrated with my own career and life goals going un-achieved but have been too scared to make bolder decisions that I didn't imagine I'd ever face having to make.
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