I figured I should join this board on my road to recovery, as I think it might help. :)
I'm a 23 year old male. Just graduated from my videogame design major and currently looking for a job. Besides videogames, other hobbies of mine include drawing, cosplaying, listening to music and hangning out with my friends.
Anxiety and I go way back unfortunately. It was around the age of 10 when a kid in school (having the same age as me) got a brain tumor. He didn't survive it sadly, and ever since I have been constantly worrying about my health and death and that gradually developed into hypochondria.
Fastforward a few years and my first panic attacks started setting in. I didn't get them frequently (only during summer vacation), but over the years they got worse. Luckily, my mom had a long history with them too, so I had (and still have) someone in my close family that understands exactly what I am going through.
At age 17 I got a panic attack late at night, all alone while waiting on the bus to home. It has been worst panic attack I've ever experienced. For a long while I had agoraphobia because of it. Until I managed to draw a line for myself there, and slowly got better without any medical help. I was panic attack free and relatively anxiety free for 3 years, until the panic attacks reared their ugly head again.
Now I've totally relapsed into all types of anxieties. Fear of driving alone, being alone at home, Agoraphobia and Cardiophobia mainly. I try to live my life as normally as possible, but it doesn't always work out. That sucks as my friends live all over the country, so I travel a lot. I am an extremely rational and logical thinker by nature- it's also why I don't understand why I am so afraid. There's something wrong in my way of thinking and I don't think I can fix it alone.
Tomorrow I am seeing my doctor to get a referral for professional help. :) That reason brought me here! Perhaps that getting my feelings down in the form of posting here and reassuring others, together with psychological help will help me getting me out of that slump... again. I've done it once before, so I know I can do it.