Tulip, I have seen your name on chat and am glad you are joining in to talk to us. We are a big neurotic family, but we help one another and understand what you're going through.
THis weekend I had my two little grandchildren (ages 1 and 2) up with me. My daughter and her husband stayed overnight as well, so that was a help. But you know the stress from crying, running and screaming kids. I kept a stiff uppe lip and got into the swing of thngs. Here's the deal...what's the worse that can happen? You have a panic attack, but they always go away.
Yes, I was uncomfotable at times, especially when the little one woke up at 5:30 in the AM, but I did it.
I don't blame you for taking care of yourself. You have to. But one of the previous posters did have a good suggestion. Ask for help. You'd be surprised how many people actually understand what you're going through.
Hang tough. THis, to, shall pass as my grandmother would say.
Best regards as you recover,