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Author Topic: There is no Cure for me  (Read 230 times)

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Offline WishfullnHopefull

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There is no Cure for me
« on: May 31, 2014, 09:39:30 PM »
when i was young like 8 - 12 i used to check plugs  before sleep incase off a fire and be scared off burglars and have dream about it and make sure all windows were closed but i cant remeber anything happening after that
at the age of 14 i remeber my heart was hurting all day and the only thing that helped was if i ran the next day it went away but i would get a sudden fear for no reason felt unreal like id taken drugs my mum asked me i said no i hadnt taken drugs the pain was extremely painfull i thought it was heart attack i felt crazy like i got scared off the dark and shaddows felt like the floor was moving and i could see things move a little
after that i have had panic attacks for 4 years been in theraphy now i have health anxiety on top off ocd
i have tried everything and im nearly finshed im about done fighting it anymore im giving in to it letting it happen no matter how bd it is
i now have a fear off mania because i get thoughts rapidly and wont go away then another
 stuck inwhat feels like im hollicating or in a dream im not hollicanting i feel like i am because i feel like im not real and cant stop pacing ect but i dont talk much i do when i visit a doctor i talk really fast about so many illness at once

the pain its caused me the times i have thought my hardest

i have cried so many god damn times and got angry

i have to some how accept what it is and accept it within my mind

may god help me and all off you

i was in a ambulance the other night because i keept randomly getting out off breath and struggling to breath for 7 days when i got in they check my oxgyen level with a pulse and it was at 97 then went to 99 witch he said is perfectly fine my bp was at 150/100 but dropped slowly my heart was rapid and my pulse was very high
he let me go and said its a panic attack

i am so exhausted its my only wish for this to all goaway and be normal i dont care if i die off any diease if it goes away i wont fear nothing what is the point in this i dont get it is it ment to mean something or is it ment to make me suffor or test me
make my life hard


im pleeding my heart out for help but nothing ever works i miss the old me im tired off hurting my faimly because off this im tired off it all the cold and clammyness cold sweats feel sick feel unreal the obssive thoughts the constant thoughts everything


if you read all of this thank you for listening and my god bless you all
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Offline Lunatone

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2014, 10:01:33 PM »
You need to stop viewing your panic as a destructive agent that cannot be overcome. Because that just makes it worse. Dwelling on panic makes it very bad, very fast.

Panic is a function of yuor sympathetic nervous system. Your sympathetic nervous system cannot objectively view the world. It acts based on what you actively think and feel. So by seeing it as a threat, your body will automatically respond as if it were. Its a positive feedback loop, each part reinforcing the others.

So until you accept that it will not hurt you and decide that you won't be beaten by it, the problem will continue. Forever.
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Offline jayorz128

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2014, 10:05:11 PM »
There is a cure for you it's called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and an SSRI. Don't be scared to get a help you will be feeling like your old self after just a few sessions. Trust me I'm thought I was going off the deep end a few months ago and now after 2 months of therapy and Lexapro I am feeling great. There is help out there you just need to go out and get it.
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Offline Rob783

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2014, 10:06:04 PM »
I'm sorry to here about your pain, we're all in the same boat. We think in loops, meaning negative thoughts breed other negative thoughts. You need to put your mind on something else.  Do you like art?  I started watercolor painting which helps distract me.  I also doodle cartoons which is fun.
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Offline WishfullnHopefull

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2014, 10:08:05 PM »
yeah but i was waking up short off air with no fast heart rate or beat
for 7 days constantly and then the doctor telling me its a panic attacks its so damn harde
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Offline WishfullnHopefull

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2014, 10:10:20 PM »
a panic attack cant make me out off breath all day and night for 7 days can it?
and can it even make ur bp got to 150/100?
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Offline Toasted Butter

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #6 on: May 31, 2014, 10:21:31 PM »
You're right when you say that there is no cure for you. That doesn't mean that you don't have options or hope, though. You do.

I know what you mean about not feeling "real." I get the same exact thing sometimes; that feeling that you are just observing your mind and body as an outsider, like it's a movie or a dream. This usually happens when I start obsessing about my thoughts, getting anxious about losing control of my mind. It's a normal reaction most people have only when they face extreme danger or stress; but for people who suffer from extreme anxiety, your brain and body react as though you are facing extreme danger and stress even when you aren't, simply because you sincerely believe that you are. It's frightening and disorienting, but it does NOT mean that you are losing your mind, even though you may sincerely feel like you are. It just means that your mind is getting hung up on these circuits and responding the way brains and bodies are supposed to respond to perceived threats. It is most disconcerting to me when this happens while driving, because I fear that I will lose control of the vehicle. I sometimes need to pull over to the side to get a grip. It's very disorienting, but not directly harmful.

There are ways to help you break these circuits and even reroute them, but they take time and practice, and different methods work better for different people, so there is not a single method that will cure you. But I can guarantee you that it can get better if you're patient with yourself and keep working on it. I sometimes feel like I take one step forward and two steps backward, but I still have faith that I can eventually get it under control to at least make it tolerable. I have good days and bad days. Knowing that I have a lot to look forward to in life helps pull me through the bad days... sometimes just barely, it seems. It takes a lot of patience.

In the meantime, it's helpful to me to know that there are a lot of other people out there who have been through the same thing, and others who are going through it still, and they are proof that it doesn't mean that you are losing your mind or dying or suffering from some rare unknown condition.
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Offline Toasted Butter

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #7 on: May 31, 2014, 10:25:29 PM »
"a panic attack cant make me out off breath all day and night for 7 days can it?
and can it even make ur bp got to 150/100?"

An anxiety attack can. Mine sometimes last for weeks. And yes, it can make your heart rate go high because it causes your body to dump adrenaline. My heart sometimes feels like it's going to beat right out of my chest. But the fact is, it's not directly harmful. Even when it feels like you're about to die, you aren't. I know it's hard to believe sometimes, and your brain will keep searching for what's really wrong because nothing this horrible could be caused by "just anxiety." But the reality is, it's just anxiety, and you'll survive it. Not to belittle the horrible way it feels or the very real physical symptoms it creates.
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Offline WishfullnHopefull

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #8 on: May 31, 2014, 10:29:01 PM »
these were the results from ambulance temp 36.1 witch is okay glucose 5.4 witch is okay sp02 98
bp 167/100
pulse 128 resp rate 20
ten minuites later
bp 150/100
pulse 113 resp rate 18
sp02 100%
ten more minuites later
bp 147/100
sp02 100
pulse 84 resp rate 18
then they let me go saying it was a panic attack now can ur bp go up to 167/100?
and why did it drop so slow took me a while to calm down
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Offline WishfullnHopefull

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #9 on: May 31, 2014, 10:32:03 PM »
it was so bad it was like i was in shock i couldt stop shaking in a cold sweat
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Offline Toasted Butter

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #10 on: May 31, 2014, 10:36:03 PM »
I've been to the ER three times (as an adult) for panic attacks and each time my vitals did very similar to what you just described. That's why I stopped going to the ER! When you get there you are so ramped up and stressed about the reality of what's going on that your pulse and BP are through the roof, but your body can't keep that up forever so it slowly comes down enough that they let you go home. One time I had to be carried in by two adults because I was shaking so badly I couldn't stand up on my own.

You can help speed this calming effect by using biofeedback and relaxation techniques, but different techniques work better for some people than for others. The most immediately helpful thing for me to do is to take a deep breath, as deep as I can, hold it for a moment, and then blow it out slowly while imagining that I'm blowing out all the fear and anxiety. Do this a few times and you will start to feel immediate benefit. It's not as long lasting as the benefit you can get from other techniques, but it's fast and easy to do under any circumstance so I recommend trying it.
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Offline WishfullnHopefull

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #11 on: May 31, 2014, 10:46:51 PM »
yeah i was shaking so bad they had to help me onto the ambulance and when he took my glucose blood test he had to hold my hand because it was everywhere i wa breathing really deep and rapidly i was shaking really bad my hands legs and body was like shell shock was that bad if i had high bp would he have now because it did go down but slowly
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Offline Toasted Butter

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #12 on: May 31, 2014, 11:07:38 PM »
Yep, this sounds so familiar. It just doesn't seem like something so dramatic can be caused by anxiety but it is. I worry about the equipment not being hooked up right or the monitor not being observed when my pulse or BP is up so the doctors don't know how bad it really is or whatever. But it's just my mind's way of trying to find something "real" to attach all these symptoms to because anxiety doesn't seem like it could cause all that by itself. But it can.
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Offline WishfullnHopefull

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2014, 11:57:33 PM »
yeah but if they wernt hooking it properly they wouldnt be getting a reading at all and they now how to do it because they have done it loads before and are trained to know and use equipment
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Offline Toasted Butter

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Re: There is no Cure for me
« Reply #14 on: June 01, 2014, 12:05:16 AM »
Exactly. When you have anxiety, you are sometimes more likely to believe the worst even if it's very unlikely, instead of believing that things are going to be okay, even if that's the most likely case. You just have to tell yourself that it's probably going to be fine, even if it doesn't feel that way. And then take some deep breaths...
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