So, this month is the first that we've actively tried to conceive. I know it can take some time, but I'm 40 and am already nervous about our chances. I've noticed that during the wait, I exhibit some of the same behaviours that go along with my HA (which has been largely under control for months now).....self-checking, googling for symptoms, feeling anxious over results. My usual HA tricks aren't helping me much, because there's no disease. To make it worse, I've felt a lot of symptoms that could be pregnancy, but I'm afraid to give them any credence because I don't know which of those symptoms could be mimicked by HA. And even worse than that, my cycle used to be fairly regular, either 26 or 28 (never 27) days, but since my major anxiety flareup last year it's been randomly anything between 24-28 days.
On the plus side, I have managed to resist the urge to test early, so I haven't wasted a ton of money and increased my anxiety level with home pregnancy tests. I am now on the day I would start if I had a 26 day cycle this month, and I am determined not to test until I've passed all 28. So far so good. But the anxiety and uncertainty are starting to ramp up, and I'm not sure how best to quiet them. Breathing exercises have never worked for me, and neither has meditation. I was hoping someone here had been through the same thing and could share stories of how they dealt with it. I know it's pretty rare to conceive on the first try, so I am likely to have to go through this repeatedly and I hope to make it easier on myself each time between now and success. (I still have my fingers crossed for this time, though. It would sure make me feel better about my 40 year old body to know it did its job right the first time.