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Author Topic: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating  (Read 242 times)

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Offline worldbeat99

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It seems a lot of folks here have spouses, or are dating, etc.  I'm single myself.  I'm dealing with GAD and some of that can lead to loneliness.
I'm a gay man and I would very much like the companionship that comes with dating.  I also enjoy cuddling and conversation.
I put energy into online dating and trying to go to new social events.

What about the other single folks with anxiety out there?  I know dating is never easy, but is it something you hope for?
Do you think anxiety would be a bit easier to deal with if you had someone in your corner?
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2014, 08:35:28 PM »
I know for some people with social phobia, dating is near impossible.  But I deal more with GAD than shyness
so it's a little easier for me.  What's your experience?
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating
« Reply #2 on: May 20, 2014, 05:11:12 AM »
I think we shape our lives around our condition. We know what we can do and we know what is off limits. I am sure you will find a lot of people are also single here on the site. Those who are more stay at home and those who don't like pubs, clubs and the likes. There is an online dating site for people with anxiety disorders. I am guessing there are thousands of them out there.
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Online tinam7

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Re: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating
« Reply #3 on: May 20, 2014, 09:12:15 AM »
As I see it, loneliness can be an equal opportunity misery that can strike anyone. Feels compatible with any other existing conditions.

So I think it is up to us to find what gives us relief. A gay person may have a harder time finding others. They even tend to live in areas friendly to them. My view is to discover your interests and then find others who share them. Just some thoughts.
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating
« Reply #4 on: May 20, 2014, 05:08:12 PM »
Cuch, I'd never heard of online dating sites for people with anxiety.  That's interesting.  And perhaps there are many single folks with anxiety on the boards.  Though many of  the folks I chat with here and elsewhere seem to be coupled.

Tina, I look forward to dating seriously.  Though I know that even people in relationships can be lonely.  So dating is no instant fix.  We must always work on ourselves too.  Though I wouldn't mind  on myself with someone else.  :)    As for being gay, I do live in a big city and it's still hard
to find someone I click with and have common interests.  But a hopeful romantic continues to look.
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Online tinam7

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Re: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating
« Reply #5 on: May 21, 2014, 08:32:02 AM »
In large cities the gay community generally has areas where they tend to live, gather and meet. It is a supportive community. Gay Pride is coming up so you may be able to join in with preparations. Then there is the little matter of luck.

But the person you always have is yourself. Make good friends with yourself and you've go it made. You are never alone. Nature sets us up to think otherwise. It need not, necessarily, be in charge.
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Offline asuka07

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Re: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating
« Reply #6 on: May 21, 2014, 09:39:16 AM »
For me yes, anxiety definitely leads to loneliness.  I haven't been diagnosed with GAD or anything, but i do have issues with anxiety when it comes to relationships.  Actually when ever I get close to being in a relationship I start to freak out and find reasons to stop talking to the poor guy.  The part that sucks is that I would love to be in a committed relationship and start a family, but my anxiety has always gotten in the way.

I am trying the online dating thing now and am talking to someone who seems really nice and of course my stupid anxiety is trying to kill it.  I am determined to not to let it, however, as I am tired of always being the single one.

We just can't let ourselves get frustrated.  So good luck to all of us looking for that special someone  :winking0008:
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Offline raggamuffin

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Re: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2014, 10:20:39 AM »
I personally think it's rather selfish to date when you have anxiety or other disorders. On both involved. My therapist said we attract those similar to ourselves. I dated after being diagnosed with depression. Never dated a stable person. It only served to magnify my stress and anxieties. I'm not interested in dating anymore. Had some of the worst experiences and never wish to pit myself in jeopardy like that again.

The hermit life for me.

Ed
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Offline Kissa

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Re: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating
« Reply #8 on: May 21, 2014, 08:38:27 PM »
Just keep in mind that you can be in a long term relationship or married and still feel totally lonely! I'm married for 10 years. I have gad and anxiety, husband has depression. All he wants to do other than go to work is sleep. So everything I do, I do alone.

However I do understand what you feel. When we are alone, all we want to think about is finding someone. But that is not always the answer we need.
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Offline worldbeat99

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Re: Does anxiety lead to loneliness? That's why I'd love to be dating
« Reply #9 on: May 21, 2014, 10:46:05 PM »
Hi everyone, this has become an interesting conversation about anxiety and the desire to partner.  I appreciate everyone sharing their different experiences and desires.

@Kissa, your point is well taken and I'm sorry you feel lonely even in marriage.  I know partnering isn't an ultimate solution.
As someone who's been single mostly, I am eager to give the partnering life a try.  And we all have to find happiness wherever we are.

@Raggamuffin, I can see that too.  Some people are happier on their own.  If I wasn't a hopeful romantic, that might be an easier option.

@Asuka, that's great you're trying online dating.  I hope you give it a chance!

@Tina, yeah in Chicago the gay pride month is big.  I'll keep my eyes open.

There's someone I've met online recently.  And we hope to get coffee soon.  So crossing my fingers.  You never know when you might find the one.  Or at least one of the ones.
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