I'll start off by saying I have been diagnosed with panic disorder/GAD since i'm 13 years old and i'm 25 now. I was on Lexapro for over 5 years and just tapered off almost a month ago. I was alright for a few weeks, just general withdrawal symptoms like brain-zaps. Though I have been having trouble sleeping lately and last night put me over the edge.
I experienced a terrible panic attack last night while trying to go to sleep. Every time I tried to sleep and "drift off", I would get this surge like feeling up my neck and into my head and my heart would start racing. It almost felt as if I had way too much caffeine, and I was getting an adrenaline rush and this weird pressure sensation in my head and it would jolt me awake. This continued all night along with tremors and continued racing heart beat and I worked myself up so much that I got sick to my stomach. I finally slept for a few hours after I couldn't take anymore and took a klonopin which I rarely use.
Today I feel almost worse, not in the sense that I am panicking but I feel very tense and ill and run down, almost like the flu. I've been having bouts of crying because I feel very helpless and worried about what tonight will bring when I go to sleep. I tried to sleep some today because my body feels so exhausted but my mind is racing and every time I may almost doze off I get that adrenaline rush feeling and my heart races. I don't want to have to go back on lexapro, but I almost never experienced panic attacks when I was on it. What if I can't control the panic and it just gets worse, will I just have to face the fact that I need to be on antidepressants the rest of my life? I don't want that to be me. I want to be normal without medication but i'm terrified that i'll never be normal and panic free on my own.