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Author Topic: "You can change the way you feel with the right attitude"  (Read 498 times)

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Offline Radiant_Nebula

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"You can change the way you feel with the right attitude"
« on: May 18, 2014, 03:56:21 PM »
Growing up I was majorly depressed. I turned to self harm as a way of coping. Eventually I realized that this wasn't healthy and I turned to my mother for help. I told her that I didn't feel okay and that I wanted to talk to someone (A psychologist) about my issues. She rolled her eyes at me and told me that I didn't need to talk to anyone and that I could change my depression if I just changed my attitude. She told me to stop my lazy way of thinking and that if I just worked to change that I could. Well its been ten years now and I not only have depression, but I have also acquired hypochondria and social anxiety. Despite trying to 'change my attitude', I couldn't. I managed to develop more issues. I feel like not everyone can change on their own...

I often feel like if I had just been allowed to talk to someone, someone who understood, I might have been able to actually feel better about myself. It might not have taken me over so much. Telling someone who is depressed to 'just change their attitude' doesn't really work. Life isn't that simple. The way I was brought up has even affected me up to today (even after I've since moved out of my parent's house) because I want to get help, but I don't. My mother's nagging voice is still in my head telling me that getting help means that I am weak and pathetic.

Has anyone else ever been told this? How has it affected you?
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Offline sba83

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Re: "You can change the way you feel with the right attitude"
« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2014, 07:04:46 AM »
I can relate.  In my family men arent allowed to express feelings.  Everytime I expressed a frustration I was told to stop being a p****y.  I had to hold my feelings in just like you.  Now I'm paying the price.  I'm pent up, i've kept my feelings to myself for so long i dont even know how to get them out.  I've seen therapists and counselors and find it very hard to get the words out.  I end up cancelling appointments.  My social anxiety is getting worse.  Stuck in a cycle i dont know how to break.  At least here i can type my feelings out without fear or shame.  I wish i had the courage to share them face to face with someone.   
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Offline flyaway

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Re: "You can change the way you feel with the right attitude"
« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2014, 07:25:07 AM »
Radiant I have experienced a similar reaction from a family member - similar response to your mother.  It didn't affect me as much as a counsellor who I saw in my late teens who pretty much said the same thing.  That hurt me the most, as they were supposed to be a professional.  It had a lot of impact on my already poor self-esteem.

It has affected me as it has made be a lot more cautious about opening up to people.  I have tried therapy again since but I just can't do it. I don't think it's right for me, and that's okay.  I have found this place a lot more beneficial.

All I can really tell you is keep trying.  I sometimes have to actually say SHUT UP to that voice that is telling me that no one wants to hear what I have to say, or that I'm annoying, stupid etc etc.  Find what works for you.  I can be pretty much completely open on this site, so that's what works for me.  Other people's dismissal of what you have or are going through is a reflection of their own shortcomings, not your own.
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Offline Lunatone

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Re: "You can change the way you feel with the right attitude"
« Reply #3 on: May 28, 2014, 04:37:21 PM »
It is partially true. maintaining a positive outlook can do a lot of good for you. But it will not stop depression. It'll reduce some of the symptoms some of the time, but it can't stop it all together.
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