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Author Topic: Friend diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer; don't read if this will trigger yo  (Read 355 times)

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Offline mollyfin

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I just found out today that one of my oldest friends was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer.  I knew she'd been in the hospital for a bit, but had no idea why.  She's in her early 30s; way, way too young for this. 

I don't know if this is going to affect my anxiety, but I feel sure it will. 

And fucking hell I feel bad about that.  Because obviously my issues are nothing compared to hers.  And mostly I'm just upset because we've been friends for almost 20 years, and I know what her odds are.  We're not as close as we used to be, but she's still very important to me.  (And again, I feel bad for being upset, because I'M not the one who's sick here!)

I don't know how to keep this from driving me crazy.  And that seems incredibly selfish to think about right now.  I really have no idea how to proceed with anything. 
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Offline SE4000

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I can't talk much about ovarian cancer, but I don't you should feel guilty about feeling bad. She's your friend and you have health anxiety; it's not your fault. I think health anxiety is an illness like any other that needs to be treated by a professional. You're not at fault for anything.
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Offline gypsymoon

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I'm sorry to hear about your friend  :(   I do know that you should not feel bad for feeling the way you do though.  My husband's 45 year old brother was diagnosed with Stage IV throat cancer in January, and we saw him for the first time this past weekend.  I was totally dreading seeing him because I knew how bad he would look after having 6 weeks of chemo and radiation and how it was going to be a trigger for me, and now I can't stop worrying that my husband is going to end up the same way (his brother is a major alcoholic and heavy smoker though and my husband does not do either of those.)  Don't feel like you are being selfish, it's just the way our brains work but it does not mean you don't care about your friend.
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Offline mollyfin

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Sorry about your brother in law.  My dad had the same diagnosis after the same lifestyle; it's rough.  I hope he can beat it! 

My anxiety is already in overdrive, but mostly I'm just really, really sad.  34 is too goddamn young for this. 
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Offline soaringfalcon

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Interestingly enough, both times I was faced with something like this...it wasn't a trigger for me.  The first was when my best friend's little brother passed from colon cancer at 26.  I was able to be there for him during his hospital stay and then after.  Next was when my friend was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. 

Maybe try a visit and see.  If not, then be there for her in other ways.  We all have our own limitations.  Do the very best you can to let her know you care.

Hugs!!!!
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