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Author Topic: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae  (Read 469 times)

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Offline Orchidaceae

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Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« on: May 14, 2014, 02:55:13 AM »
Okay, I confess. I suffer from health anxiety (obivously). I've had huge anxiety over almost every disease, although cancer and autoimmune conditions seem to be my thing. I say this because I want to put my fear into perspective, but I'm also scared to not be taken seriously.

Over the last six months I've been bruising a lot on my legs for no apparent reason. Some days bruises are just there and I cannot remember how and when I got them. I've also had this lump on my left upper arm for 6 years which is bluish in color. I've checked it out with ultrasound and the doctors say that it's not cancer but probably fatty tissue. I just read though that bluish lumps is a sign of leukemia and since I know it can be a really slow disease I'm afraid that I've been having these issues for a long time.

My main concern though is petechiae. I noticed some months ago that I have these tiny reddish dots all over my arms and some on my legs. I also have some on my chest. I'm sure they are petechiae and I'm really scared. I just called my doctors clinic and I'm awaiting a call. I do not like going to the doctor because I feel that they'll label me with health anxiety and not take me seriously. It's as if my suffering is not worth as much simply because I'm afraid! I will tell them that I want to do a blood check because of the bruising and that I've been feeling tired, which I have been, and hopefully it will be normal.

I don't know what to do or where to turn. I just had this massive anxiety attack in the shower, picturing my bald head and how I will die very soon. I have so much to do with work and school and I really don't have time for anxiety like this. And if it's leukemia I will probably die from anxiety anyways.

I'm really, really scared and didn't know where else to turn. I have no friends and my boyfriend's at work. Any reply would be greatly appreciated.

EDIT: I just got the call from the doctor's office and since it's not a serious issue for them, they couldn't offer me any time before the summer. Like 2 months. I feel really alone in this.
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2014, 05:54:11 AM »
A bluish lump sounds like a ganglion cyst actually.  Common.

You don't have to remember how you get bruises, it's VERY rare that I recall how I get one.  Most of mine are from bumping things (I used to get a lot on my shins when I worked in an office and had the garbage pail under my desk - obviously I wasn't SLAMMING my shins into the pail, but the mere act of bumping it would bruise them (I guess because there's no fat there, just skin on bone basically) And the other bruises are pressure related.  I bruise a LOT more if you press on my skin rather than if you would HIT it hard - you could be the same. 

How long have you had this "petechiae"?  I put it in quotes because I thought I had that!  It started on my leg, then my other leg, then my torso, then my arms....  I looked like I had measles on my legs!!  After some of them started to RAISE I realized it was some sort of allergic reaction (I found out it was Flaxseed oil I was taking - that's the only thing new I was doing, I stopped and the entire rash cleared up) - so keep an eye on the petechiae and start feeling some of them and see if any are starting to raise (petechiae won't raise)  Also it could still be a rash even if it doesn't raise.  Think of any new foods, medications, supplements or laundry detergent you started to use when you noticed this.
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2014, 10:19:41 PM »
Petechiae from leukemia would absolutely cover your legs, arms or trunk.  Not a few randomly scattered dots.
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2014, 06:14:14 AM »
Petechiae from leukemia would absolutely cover your legs, arms or trunk.  Not a few randomly scattered dots.

Wow, I'm glad I didn't see this last month!!!  LOL!!! (read my previous post)
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #4 on: May 16, 2014, 05:13:22 AM »
I actually did start getting big solid blocks of actual petechiae at one point myself.  To say I freaked out would be an understatement ;) 
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Offline Sunlover

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2014, 06:23:03 AM »
I actually did start getting big solid blocks of actual petechiae at one point myself.  To say I freaked out would be an understatement ;) 

Did you find out what caused it?
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Offline mollyfin

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2014, 07:24:54 AM »
Not a goddamn clue!  My blood work kept coming back fine.  My doctor was just like *shrug* well don't worry about it then.  It came and went a few times, then stayed gone.  Always in the same place, too. 
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Offline Lililanny

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2014, 05:09:02 PM »
I have some petechiae too. Scattered. Random. I guess they must be pretty common?
Regarding the leukemia fear, my GP told me it would almost 100% show up in your bloodwork if you had it. Your blood work would definitely be off. Most people get diagnosed by accident, when routine bloodwork shows it up. So, a simple blood test would put your mind at ease.
I also bruise very easily.
Can you tell I've gone through this fear before too??? Sounds like you are fine to me :)
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Hypochondria is the only disease I haven't got - Graffito

Offline Orchidaceae

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #8 on: June 10, 2014, 10:22:06 AM »
So I went to a sweet doctor yesterday. He asked about my education and everything before getting to the petechiae. I tried not to seem to hypochondriac, lol. I got my blood tested and it all came back perfect.

And just yesterday I planned my funeral and had these fantasies about me having to quit school and shave my head. Health anxiety is such a weird thing.
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Offline Lindsay2427

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2014, 11:03:41 AM »
It sounds like your health anxiety is also trigger OCD and intrusive thinking. My HA does this quit often and has since childhood. I will be convinced I have the c word and then I will get very vivid images of being diagnosed. It's terrible and it will replay in my head over and over like a broken record. It sometimes is even hard to have conversation with other during a bad episode. I totally have anxiety attacks in the shower as well. I will start uncontrollably sobbing and crying thinking about my diagnosis. It's a horrible thing. I wish I could overcome it.
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Offline thenomnomnomicon

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Re: Leukemia, anxiety attack, petechiae
« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2014, 04:18:25 PM »
I have dots like these. Noticed them during my HIV-scare at age 10 or so. Benign. You're fine.
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