I'm gonna begin this by telling you that I'm french canadian, so my english is not perfect at all, especially when
I'm emotional >.< So sorry for the future mistakes. I'm 22 years old and currently finishing a DEC in arts (mostly
litterature) and about to begin in august another DEC in social working. Why am I here today... Because ever since
I was 16 years old I've suffered from anxiety and depression. My worst years were between 18 and about 20 and
a half years old. During those years it was so bad that I was thinking about ***** everyday and crying myself
to sleep almost everyday. I had a breaking point where I finally told my dad the depth of how bad I was feeling and
I finally seeked some professional help. I took Cipralex for maybe half a year until I thought I felt better and stopped.
I never liked the idea of having to take medication to feel better, and even if it helped, I felt like a robot and hated it.
So that is all from the past. There's so much more to tell but I can't write everything it would take forever. Basically,
right now in my life, I feel like I'm relapsing. I've had gigantic ups and downs this year so far......... I had maybe 2 months
where I felt like I was completly happy and I felt like everything was finally over. And after those months... I've been slowly,
going back to my usual depressed and stressed out self. To not being able to look at anyone in the eyes, to not being able
to feel right in any situation what so ever. To feeling like a fucking stranger in my life. I look at people, at everyone that I love
mostly my family and I feel out of place, I feel weird, I feel like an outcast. I live alone and spend so much time alone that
it drives me nuts. Working is taking me so much effort because I work in customer service and I constantly have to talk to people
and look at them in the eyes. I'm completly terrified of going back to how I was before.
Sorry if this first post is all over the place. I never know what to say when I introduce myself so I tend to throw everything that
comes to my mind on paper... lol