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Author Topic: Please, any suggestions?  (Read 227 times)

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Offline LisaNikks

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Please, any suggestions?
« on: May 13, 2014, 01:18:08 PM »
I never realized  I had anxiety until a couple of years ago, I always just thought I was a worry-wart. Looking back on things, I can realize that it was anxiety causing me to do certain things. For example in middle school I refused to eat lunch during the day because I was afraid of getting a stomachache. I just thought I was worrying but I'm realizing it was much more. Anyways, I've noticed that my anxiety comes in waves. I always have it, but sometimes it's much worse.

A couple weeks ago, my boyfriends father passed away and since then I've been filled with crazy anxiety and nervousness. Between finding a new house, work, my boyfriend and his family (which brings up thoughts and memories of my own fathers death), I feel like I might crumble. My heart constantly feels like someone is pushing on it and I have a hard time breathing.  Sometimes I feel like my worries are going to completely overcome me and take over my body. It's never been THIS bad where it lasts all day and all night. I'm constantly filled with dread and worrying.  It's like I want some kind of escape but I cannot find it. Working out usually helps but it won't this time. I've tried talking to a therapist but it made me VERY uncomfortable and gave me even more anxiety. I'm beginning to worry that this is just how i'm always going to feel. Does anyone have any suggestions that help them when they are doubled in stress and anxiety?
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Offline Cuchculan

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Re: Please, any suggestions?
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2014, 05:56:19 AM »
I am sure the death hasn't helped at all. Maybe you need help for that aspect of things. I am sure you were close to the man who died as well. So you may be going through grief. Which has to be dealt with. It is not something we simply move on from. Add that to your anxiety that you had already and it would make things a whole lot worse. Things would get to you a lot easier. Writing does help. Keeping track of your thoughts. Even write a letter to the person who passed away. Telling him how you are feeling. Once done, take it outside and burn it, letting everything go. These things can take time. Don't rush anything. Slow yourself down. But try deal with how you are feeling. Emotionally.
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Offline AcousticDad

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Re: Please, any suggestions?
« Reply #2 on: May 16, 2014, 09:29:52 AM »
Cuchulan is right on the mark.  Experiencing a loss of any kind can create a whole new line of anxiety.  Everyone deals with it differently.  Some need to talk about it.  Some feel better writing it down.  Some need to bury themselves in a hobby or work.  You may need to try a few different things until something starts helping. It's also painful in a way that other anxiety may not be.  But you will heal and so will your boyfriend.  It just takes time.  Also, it can help to write down or talk about the good memories.  Life is a celebration of our spirit and how we touched others.

I can relate to mounting anxiety from all those triggers, as well.  I felt this when I was finishing college.  I had more than a full courseload, interned, worked part-time, was engaged, and so on.  And then when I was getting a divorce about 6 years later, I had 2 sons (under age 4) to take care of and worry about, a house to sell, going back to work after being a stay-at home dad for 3 years, and so on.

What are you are feeling is normal given all the events filling your life right now.  It's just more intense when you suffer from anxiety.  My mom used to say it was just worrying, but I realized later that it was so much more.  Try to focus on positive things in your life and develop what I like to call a "mental emergency kit".  Make a list of things that you can do, people you can see, or places you can go nearby that make you feel happy. When you start to feel overwhelmed, refer to your emergency kit to help you keep yourself from reeling.  It's hard at first and sounds silly.  But finding and reminding yourself of "good things" in the world can help you to heal.

Most important, don't be afraid to ask for help.  There is always someone that can be there for you.  Even on this site.  Take care and hope things start to get better for you.
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Offline DiJoPa

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Re: Please, any suggestions?
« Reply #3 on: May 16, 2014, 11:17:04 AM »
What works for me is :

Find what works for you.
It WILL help you cope with & manage your anxiety.
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