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Author Topic: I've been reading too much online again, scared, getting it off my chest  (Read 184 times)

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Offline SE4000

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(TMI warning, also anxiety trigger warning)

I know i've been posting kind of a lot here lately, but I'm nervous due to certain things that have affected me lately.

I've been having minor bowel problems since late 2011. Softer and smaller stool than before, pungent odor coming from it, somewhat yellowish tint in stool. Some days I don't have to go to the bathroom until very late at night, and on those days it's always harder stool but still easy to pass.

i also had some nausea starting late march and things that felt maybe like bloating, but it's about 90-95% gone by now. it took a long time to recover, more than a month. no idea what it is.

I started reading stories online about very young people getting colon cancer. one was NINE years old. many more were in their 20s, my age (24), all with late stage colon cancer at diagnosis.

their symptoms were more like pain, worsening diarrhea, shortness of breath (anemia), stuff like that. my symptoms have been pretty much the same since 2012. I was reading about these cases because I wanted to know if their stories were similar to mine, but they're not. but reading about people that young with CC is really frightening, and considering the symptoms can be present for over a year before diagnosis, it's very scary to think about.

my bowel problems never got better, but never got worse either. I took a trip to see some friends at one point and it was really bad, strange stools like I've never seen before, but when I got home it was back to the way it was just before the trip. that was last summer.

I don't know exactly where I'm going with this, just reading about healthy kids my age getting diagnosed really scared me and I'm nervous for my appointment in 5 days. I'm going to be a wreck. I've been stressed on and off, and today I had a particularly loose bowel movement as soon as I woke up that didn't make me feel any better. usually I have to go a few hours after waking up.

my mother has had IBS like symptoms since she was younger than me, so I must have inherited it and that's probably all it is. but being recently sick and reading stories and being undiagnosed for over two years, it's horrible to go through this anxiety.

I'm really a complete idiot for not going to the doctor as soon as the problems started.
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Offline Kmj023

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Do not google. I learned this is the worst thing people like us can do. I was scared I had a brain tumor cause of the symptoms I am having and everything you read will turn something so small into cancer. Please don't worry.  I know it's easier said than done. Has there been any blood in your bms?
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"The only illness that we can't accept is hypochondria."

"Never Google, everyone will catch an invisible tumor!"

"Anxiety is not a doctor. Neither is the internet."

Actual diagnosis : chronic sinusitis.
Google diagnosis : brain cancer.

Symptoms : dizzy head feeling.

Offline SE4000

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I googled too much already. I was googling stories to see if my symptoms were similar, and they're mostly not. most people seem to only find out at a late stage due to pain and anemia, which I don't have.

I had blood in my BMs when I was very young, but I haven't seen blood in my stool in many many years.

it's very silly because my symptoms haven't gotten any worse (except with obvious stress) since this all started, but if I had C then everything would be getting worse I imagine. it seems logical, but my heart still beats faster and I get nervous reading about these things. I stopped reading and I'm calmer now but the impending gastro appointment is making me anxious.
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Offline SE4000

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I really wish I could just get over this fear. It doesn't help that my bowel movements have changed a little bit recently. When I first got sick, they became more loose and very soft and mushy. Then they seemed to go back to normal for some time, and now they're soft and mushy again, even though I seem to be doing much better. I always wake up early to go to the bathroom. Today's was worse than yesterday's.

If I could at least sleep better and not have these weird BMs I'd be feeling much less anxious about all this. I just hope, hope, hope that this is all caused by anxiety.
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