Last week, I was talking to my friends about this person with Tourette's and then suddenly this fear popped into my head, I have Tourette's and if I don't I'm developing it.
I'm 19 F. This all started when I was about 9, I had a very stressful childhood.
I haven't been diagnosed but I believe I have some form of OCD. I know OCD isn't just washing hands and all that. I've read into it and I actually have a lot of the symptoms.
>I'm a perfectionist, but maybe it's just the OCD
>I've been blinking my eyes until I get the feeling that it's just right.
Sometimes I feel like I need to touch things a few times until it's just right.
>I had an obsessional fear that I was a lesbian even though I have no problem with gays.
>I always separate my food before I eat it. Eg, eating a fruit salad, first the oranges, then strawberries, the melon.
>Obsessional superstition, I said to my friend I hadn't caught a cold this year, then I knocked on wood, but then I accidentally touched it again and thought it would cancel out the first knock so I had to knock it again.
>On tumblr sometimes I won't reblog a photo because it just doesn't feel right or something bad might happen.
>When I zoom into a picture I always have to un-zoom
>I need to know things and have a fear of forgetting
>Sometimes if I make a mistake on my phone, I have to rewrite that word even though auto correct already fixed it.
>When playing piano, doing scales for example, if I touch another key even if it didn't make a sound I have to do the whole scale again.
>I forgot how to breathe naturally and had to keep telling myself inhale, exhale for about a week and gave myself many panic attacks.
>I have been diagnosed with hyperventilation syndrome.
Also I think I have hypochondria, for example the fear that I was a lesbian (HOCD), some water went up my nose and I had a fear that I had a brain amoeba for a few weeks, I had a sore arm and thought I was going to have a heart attack.
Now I have this fear that I have tourettes. I've had this blinking feeling before but it comes off and on and it gives me such a headache. It started when I was 9 years old. It last about a week or two then disappears. I feel like I have to control my blinking and now I'm scared. How often am I suppose to blink, did it feel right, did I blink enough or too little? My eyes feel dry so I'm blinking a lot am I going to damage my eyes. Do I have a tic, am I going to get more tics? Will I get tourettes? Are people noticing my blinking? I keep watching other people blink to see if their blinking normally too. It's giving me such anxiety. I keep googling tourettes which I guess is feeding the OCD. Suddenly when I'm really concentrated on something or forget about it, I notice I'm blinking normally but how do I stop thinking about it?
Please help me. Sorry, I realise there is a lot to read and you don't have to read it all. I'm just really scared. I just want to stay at home in bed. I can't concentrate on anything.
Sorry and thank you.